Thank you for bringing these concerns and recommendations to us. It's actually a coincidence that we was chatting about this just a few days ago as something we too wish to see improve.
Now, I will not discredit Thunderer for switching sides. This has always been a thing he does (god knows I've been on the receiving end numerous times), and is always done with the intention of fair play in mind. I don't care how much you (or anyone else) complains about it. That is to be commended.
Secondly, unfortunately I was not present, so my understanding of the situation is hazy at best. However to my understanding it was you refusing to go in and fight, leaving our forces to overwhelming odds. Please, if you intend to fight with us, fight WITH us.
I don't know anything of the inappropriate names (and have no evidence to support such a claim), but I know first hand that you can be aggressive in the way you speak to people. Perhaps it was the way you refused to help that caused that? It's not something I condone, just speculation, and food for thought for the future.
I thank you for providing this feedback, and invite you to ask/question here if you require more information.