Remember what I've told you when we were on the Freeport?
"I really do not want you to die on me".
You promised you would let me look after you, just like how I'd let you look after me.
I know she's done wrong. And it can't be excused, and you have every right to be angry, furious even. Hell, I am going to have a good long talk with her right now, about why this is all kinds of wrong. I will try my best to keep her away from you as much as I can, because you have every right to not want any involvement in this hodgepodge.
But listen to me. Listen very closely, you handsome classy bumbling gentleman from Pittsburgh. You don't have to be afraid of me. I meant it when I said I'd do anything for you, because that's what friends do. There's so much more to life than the slobbering attention of the media. There's so much more than the creepy space squids or Caliban or Rebecca or Revenant. Think of all the times you said you'd want to visit Erie. Think of all the things you have yet to feel and experience. Life's awful, and yet it's fantastic at the same time. Don't you want to try out new things with yours truly, instead of just throwing everything away because of some problems? Suicide isn't the answer, and I have pointed a loaded gun at my own skull before, so please listen carefully.
I know you are tired. You just want to run away and trust me - I know the sentiment. You don't know how close I was from giving Revenant the finger and leaving her in a haze of smoke near Canaria. But I couldn't. Because-- because. Because I just can't. I can't run away.
But you can. You can try as many times as you want in life. These are all little truths I found out with a lot of pain and meditation. So let me help you on your feet, you've got a lot to do before you kick the bucket.
I've paid Caliban already. He will leave you alone now. He won't back down from this, because there were a dozen people in space listening to this pact I made with him, along with the entire air frequency of Freeport 14. There is no way he will ever come back to you. Doing so would destroy the reputation he cares so much about. He will leave you alone from now on. I'll talk to Becca to solve the other half of this problem.
Let it be known that Becca paid the bill. Check the attachment file at the bottom of this recording.
[Sighs, in both exhaustion and relief.] Now, you said you're in a freezing and very cold place, at the mercy of someone you don't know. Care to tell me a little more about that? Do you want me to come pick you up with the Homerunner? We'll have a trip on the way home, if you want. Heckle some spacers, drink some beer. We'll sit together on those awful chairs with the crappy leather that's actually more sponge than leather. It'll be fun. And we'll be happy.
...Or would you rather still have me away from your life.