So the other day I went on my usual patrol, could see many colleagues saluting me over radio, when something strange happened. I entered a nebula
And wouldn't you know it LNS-CONSTITUTION, an Archer class Liberty Navy Siege Cruiser was just sitting there!
I promptly went to investigate
And sure enough the SHIP WAS ADRIFT NOT REALLY DOING ANYTHING
I moved inside the empty bridge, and discovered that the ELDERLY COMMANDING OFFICER
FORGOT WHERE HE PARKED IT
What a PLEASANT AND PERFECTLY PLAUSIBLE SURPRISE
To my chagrin, even though the captain forgot that he left the ship there THE CREW WAS STILL THERE, CUT OFF FROM THE BRIDGE
I was contemplating about THE NOBLE INSURGENCY CAUSE, could I even try to CONVINCE THEM TO DEFECT?But I'm not stupid and let it go - what are the odds that 200 people defect at once? You guessed it, zero.
it was JUST MY LUCK that the SHIP ITSELF OVERHEARD ME
FELL IN LOVE WITH MY MESSAGE
and DECIDED TO DEFECT ON IT'S OWN WILL
Naturally you know what happened next - it proceeded to decompress all sections but the bridge where yours truly was, and spaced the entire crew
What a day of lucky coincidences.
GOING FORWARD
Now I could feed you some crap of how I will toe the ship to our shipyard so you decide what to do with it. But to hell with it, I AM KEEPING IT - such an unexpected find surely needs to stay with the founder.
Therefore I'd like you to welcome to our fleet and family
INS-DIVINE, THE FOUND AND DEFECTED SIEGE CRUISER(FORMERLY KNOWN AS LNS-CONSTITUTION)
Allow me to play doubles advocate here for a moment. For all intensive purposes I think you are wrong. In an age where false morals are a diamond dozen, true virtues are a blessing in the skies. We often put our false morality on a petal stool like a bunch of pre-Madonnas, but you all seem to be taking something very valuable for granite. So I ask of you to mustard up all the strength you can because it is a doggy dog world out there. Although there is some merit to what you are saying it seems like you have a huge ship on your shoulder. In your argument you seem to throw everything in but the kids Nsync, and even though you are having a feel day with this I am here to bring you back into reality. I have a sick sense when it comes to these types of things. It is almost spooky, because I cannot turn a blonde eye to these glaring flaws in your rhetoric. I have zero taller ants when it comes to people spouting out hate in the name of moral righteousness. You just need to remember what comes around is all around, and when supply and command fails you will be the first to go.
Make my words, when you get down to brass stacks it doesn't take rocket appliances to get two birds stoned at once. It's clear who makes the pants in this relationship, and sometimes you just have to swallow your prize and accept the facts. You might have to come to this conclusion through denial and error but I swear on my mother's mating name that when you put the petal to the medal you will pass with flying carpets like it’s a peach of cake.