Anna Aurelia looked at her drink and took some sip. She finally retrieved her ''normal'' state. She was now calm and agreed to Tsuya about there was no use to think about ifs. Anna knew it was useless but at the same time, it was stronger than her because sometimes, she thought how would be her life if she wasn't kidnapped and all the sh*ts related to that hell. But right now, her past has less influence. Perhaps it was because the company of Tsuya? Or even Pixis's and Marcus's?
Anna broke the silence. ''Alright... Let's do that. The training data and then, your AI.'' She took the last sip of her drink. ''I planned to do this tomorrow if it doesn't bother you... Let's say right now, I.. I prefer to relax first. After all, I just arrived.'' She changed the subject and looked at the shogun. ''What was your life before you became the shogun, Tsuya? I mean... you were someone else before, right?''
Anna Aurelia was curious. She wanted to know a bit more the shogun. Like she said herself, she would ''probably'' be in the news as a genius innovator. She was curious about that facet. However, like if it was not apparent, Anna was interested in Tsuya. She never really had any chance to find the ''chosen one''. indeed, the woman already had some relations but it never ended well. But most of the time, Anna did not really paid attention to those who were trying to seduce her. But... It seems with Tsuya, it is another story.
"Well..." She sighs gently as she once again lifts the glass of water up to her somewhat plump lips for another sup. The few seconds that pass in this moment somehow feel more like minutes to her as she considers the loaded question. 'What was my life? What did I accomplish? What was my worth? Who am I, really?' In this fragment of time, all these questions rushed around in her head as she decides on an answer. Any answer. Despite having only come into this position over the course of a couple of years, it felt like it was decades ago that she was a normal Kusarian civilian, even though it was only about two years. Slowly, she sets down the glass, and another few moments pass in silence. For once, she was the one bothered by a personal question into her earlier life. As the pieces of memories recollect themselves within her mind, she decides it's not worth it to keep running from her regrets.
"It's not really that interesting. Before all this, I lived on New Tokyo. Shibuya archipelago. I'm the middle sibling in a set of three, and my father is a small business holotainment producer and developer. My mother was a local model for certain digital magazines... We frequently had to tag along on trips throughout Sirius when we were young because they couldn't leave us alone to care for ourselves." She pauses to catch her breath and lubricate her throat with another swig of water. My younger sister, she was the rebellious and crude type, always misbehaving in school. My older brother, he was the one who kept us all in order and was very well behaved. Being the middle one, I suppose I was influenced by them both. Their juxtaposed personalities rubbed off on me enough to make me neither too disciplined nor too unruly. We were quite a handful for our parents, but for the most part, we lived normal lives."
She relived it piece by piece, becoming more invested by the second. Her gaze was glued to Anna as she tried to summarize what she could to make a long story short. "But as we got older and approached college, my sister was expelled for leading a school protest based on some kind of illegal material. She's an excellent hacker, so she must have acquired it from some kind of secure neural net portal. My parents kept it a secret from us and banished her from our home. Many confusing feelings about the situation prevented me from speaking up about it, and my brother, well, he reluctantly agreed with them. By the time we went to university, he was attending a military college to join the Navy, and I was in a technical institute to get a bachelor's degree in computer science. Eventually, I joined an extracurricular club that seemed normal, but in actuality, it was a coterie of people sympathetic to the Dragons. Out of fear, and believing the propaganda at the time, I... followed along with them. They told me that I was the chosen of a lost bloodline, and that it was my destiny to lead them to glory."
And for once, her collected and calm nature started to show cracks. Her poker face started to collapse. She wasn't sure if it was the drink, or the memories flooding back she didn't describe, or even both, but she didn't care. "It's not like they did anything bad, don't get me wrong. But the elders won't tell me anything about what they said, and it still haunts me. What exactly did they know about me that I didn't? Why did they choose me out of the thousands of other people they could have found? I know that this is the righteous path, a choice which faces the ugly truth of Kusari as the rest of the public chooses ignorance, but still... I can't help but want to go back to how things were. I miss my siblings and my parents deeply. But even if I could go back, it'd be a betrayal of what I believe now." With that, she stops. She sighs again, but rather deeply. Thank god that nobody was sitting near them and that she picked a booth in the back of the bar for this meeting, or else she would have been incredibly embarrassed. She returns her attention to her mango fizz and swills from the straw. After spilling all those beans, she felt somewhat spent.
Anna Aurelia was listening the shogun carefuly. While the shogun was talking about her past, Anna looked at her eyes and lips and her gestures. She did not get bored. The white haired woman was interested by the seconds that passed and more Tsuya was revealing herself, more Anna liked her. They had more in common than they thought. They both went studied for something and they both lived events that were not or were supposed to happen. But the only difference was that Anna did not have any brothers or sister. She was unique in her family and orphan soon enough. More than anyone, Anna Aurelia understood the pain to not be able to go back in the past to change things or to know the reasons behind some actions taken.
For an unknown reason, she extended her arms toward Tsuya and took her hands. The woman noticed that Tsuya's hands were softer than what she thought and warm. A warmth that Anna likes. She closed her eyes and some thoughts crossed in her head. The woman opened her eyes and smiled to the shogun. ''Even if you were supposed to be here today or not, I am glad that I met you. And..'' Anna's attention turned on her hands holding Tsuya's. ''From those I have met, you are, so far, the unique person who is alike me. We both studied in fields in which we liked and we both lived something unplanned. More than anyone else understand the will to go back in the past and do corrections on events that were not supposed to happen. However, it is impossible.''
She stopped holding Tsuya's hands and sat normally on the chair. Since Tsuya revealed herself, Anna wanted to reveal a bit more of herself but she wasn't sure if it was right. Unless Tsuya wants to know a bit more about her, Anna will not talk. The only thing that Tsuya was aware of Anna was her childhood and the secret among many she hid from anyone. The fact that Anna was once abused and that, it is unforgettable. Every moments, Anna still plays the scene in that dark and humid room. But with time, she managed to stop showing any emotions of disgust while playing this dark show. It would be the only thing she wants to forget.
Initially, she was taken aback with surprise by the bold move from Anna to hold hands. Her cheeks turned a furious red in her moment of weakness, as this is far from something she's familiar with. She spends so much time at the top of the ladder that she's the loneliest rung of the bunch. Everybody beneath respects her, but dares not to pry too deeply into personal details or relationships. Being from a close collaborationist background in her family, she wishes she could get closer to her subordinates, and break the ice that is formal behavior. Especially in moments such as these, where a bar and a drink are one of the few comforts of this world. She silently listened to what Anna had to say, but she felt her face begin to turn hot because of the blushing.
As soon as Anna released her grasp, Tsuya's arms quickly retreated back to the safety of her lap. She looked away, extremely embarrassed by the display she made. Not only that, but the awkwardness caused by the gesture drove a wrench into the conversation. However, one of them needed to speak up eventually, so naturally, the words began to flow once more, her lips trembling with the emotions of the past. "I'm glad that you're able to understand... It isn't often that I open up like this, you know. Lucky you, to catch me in a moment of weakness... These are only some of the stressful things a leader must deal with. The choices of the past and the weight of the future can bring you down." With that, she takes one final slurp out of her fizz, finishing the remainder of the alcohol with one suck of the straw. The tension of the situation made her irregularly thirsty. With the glass completely drained, she sets it down for the last time.
"I guess it's as you say, though. It's impossible, and it doesn't matter now. I must face the path ahead, and carry our truth into the light." Next in line was the water, which she decides to chug down. Glass after glass, the contents of the original bottle were emptied as she manages to take it all down without spilling or making a mess. Soon enough, everything on her side of the table was empty. She resisted the urge to burp as she awaited a response, unsure of where next to take this conversation.
Anna couldn't hold a little chuckle. It was not to laugh at the shogun but only because of her reaction. ''Sorry that I made you uncomfortable, Tsuya... It was not my intention. And... like you, I don't open myself so often. Especially after what I lived....'' At her turn, she emptied her drink. However, she talked to herself about what she saw from Tsuya. ''Alright... I understand her. I once have been in this situation. Even with a friendly touch'' While she was talking to herself, her red eyes were always looking toward the upward right side. It was an habit.
The ambiance was a bit awkward and she was running out of words. The woman needed to tell something to Tsuya. Something that helped her after she has been free. And that something was a moral support but right now, Anna needed to be careful on her words. It was important to not make things worse. She took a deep breath and broke the awkward silence. ''I know you are not the kind to reveal herself often. And like I told you, it is the same for me but... if you need a moral support, I... I am here if you want and even if we are far from each other, you can always reach me... After all, that's what friends are supposed to do? Right? By her face, she was unsure herself.
Anna Aurelia looked at Tsuya in hope to hear something. But deep within her, she hopped she did not make things more awkward than it was. However, she had good hope that Tsuya could forgive and accept her friendship. Somehow, Anna felt that Tsuya needed to have at least a friend. The idea to give her support to Tsuya came from what did a good old friend back then when they both meet for the first time.
After taking a moment to regain her composure as Anna's words escape her mouth, she shakes her head. She knew Anna meant well, but she needs to take this lesson in stride. She felt conflicted about her choice in the matter, yet as the Shogun, she must be powerful enough to never need such support. "I shouldn't have to rely on you to be able to get by. A leader needs to be strong and capable of surpassing their weaknesses, including the sweet and sour memories of the past."
She may have calmed herself, but she could still feel the heavy beating of her heart after that brief exchange. She really is not used to being in contact with somebody else in that way. She prefers to keep it as such, seeing as establishing close relationships could create attachment that overstays its welcome if it comes to an end. As a result, she politely declines that approach. "While I understand that you want to be friends, I just am not willing to make this collaboration... that sort of venture. I ask that you respect my personal space, or at least beg permission next time." She says before sliding out of the booth seat and standing up.
"You wanted to take today to relax, and adjust to Kyoto, yes? I'll give you that time. Tomorrow, meet me at Nijo. It's the tallest tower in our home, so you cannot miss it."
The woman listened to the shogun attentively before to break the silence. ''Yes, you are right that leaders need to surpasse their weaknesses. But believe me, even if you manage to keep everything for yourself, one day, you couldn't keep up like you do. I know you don't want to have support. But my offer still stands.'' She stood up, replaced the chair as it was before she came here and looked at Tsuya again. Many sentences were bumping in her brain but she decided to drop one of them. ''Good night and... see you tomorrow.'' On those words, she walked toward the door and left the building. However, she forgot her briefcase.
Once outside, she was slowly walking. Anna couldn't believe what she just heard. ''Did she really refuse my friendship?'' ''Why are you so friendly when you don't want friends? It does not make any sense!'' It was the only things she was thinking about. The reason was simple. Tsuya occupied her mind. Anna couldn't stop to think the warmth of Tsuya's hands. When she arrived where she slept, she entered in the building, reached her room and took a shower.
It was now late and the woman just noticed that she forgot her briefcase. ''She does make me loose my ways, isn't she?'' She laid in the bed and slowly fall asleep.
"Oyasumi." She said as Anna walked past her and out of the bar. Did she make the right choice? Or rather, did she use the right words for what she wanted to say? She wasn't sure. But she could tell Anna looked somewhat dejected after that conversational transaction. She hoped that Anna didn't take it too seriously. "This is just the way it must be... A Shogun must be able to stand tall on their own." She muttered. But just as she was about to take her leave, she noticed the briefcase Anna had was still sitting on the table. "She forgot this, of all things? What a scatterbrain... Looks like I'll have to take care of it until tomorrow."
She hastily grabs the briefcase in her left hand and leaves the bar at a brisk pace. She needed to think about that exchange. A mix of confusion and surprise and embarrassment plagues her mind as her mind replays the scene. She's lucky nobody was paying attention to her small outburst, and especially lucky that nobody saw Anna doing that. If she showed a moment of weakness to the people of Kyoto, the seeds of doubt would be sown in an instant. Then, if anyone saw them holding hands like that, it would be considerably awkward knowing the taboos of this sort of thing. The alternative ways of how this could have played out run through her head as she rushes to Nijo. More than anything now, she needs to relax and remove these thoughts. All she needs to focus on is the deal she wants to make, and that's it. She doesn't need nor want Anna to coddle her, out of the fear that she'll develop emotional vulnerabilities.
And as she retires to her quarters at Nijo yet again, she finds that there's thankfully no more desk work to be done. Once she enters her private room, she sets the briefcase down on the floor, and resolves to do nothing else today except relax. The rough amount of work she had to go through yesterday ensured the Dragons could live without her for just one day. She turns on her television and changes the channel to some late night classic movies. "Thankfully we have our own networks... Trying to hijack programming from Kusari would be difficult." She lets her body go limp on her bed, and watches until she falls asleep.
The night was pretty disturbing to Anna. When she couldn't sleep anymore, she took a shower and needed to eat something. The woman ate toasts with nothing on them. She was used that Pixis makes the breakfast but she wasn't here. Before to leave the room, the white haired woman covred herself with, again black pants but this time with a white T-Shirt and not to forget the black hoodie. Once ready, she left and locked the door with the key. It was, probably, around 10:00am and she headed to the place where she was yesterday. When she entered and saw that her briefcase was not there anymore, she thought that, probably, Tsuya took it with her. If it was the case, she will need to thank her else, Anna will be pissed because, by her fault, she was to much focused on the shogun that she forgot the briefcase. ''I hope... it will go better...'' she said to herself.
Anna Aurelia leaves the building and looked for the highest tower and as the shogun said, it was hard to miss it. The woman walked toward the tower with a moderate speed. She didn't want to make pressure on the shogun. While she was walking, she tied her hair the way to make a ponytail. Strangely, it looks good on her. But Anna couldn't stop thinking if the shogun will like the hair style. After several minutes, she finally arrived at the tower. It was impressive to see how tall the tower was. ''So that is the Nijo tower... If it was me, I would use it as a research complex. But since I am just a visitor, I can't really judge. Anyway, time to enter.'' When she will see the shogun, Anna will try to confuse her. Perhaps Ubukata Tsuya will not fall for it but Anna thought this: ''When she will show up, I will put my left leg on the ground like a knight would do and bring my right hand to my heart... Perhaps she will be surprised? Or perhaps if I had a little sentence like: ''Your loyal Anna Aurelia is here for you, my shogun!'' Hmmm... It will be awkward but I want to do this for her. Perhaps will she laugh? If so, I win.''
It was a much more restful night for Tsuya than it has been in the past. She'd set her boundaries with Anna, and could rest easy knowing she won't have to get too close to the woman. She leisurely prepares for the day ahead, figuring Anna would take her time getting over here. She'd thought about the way she said it yesterday and wondered if it cut into Anna. It's not that she wants to push her away, she just doesn't see any point to bring this up to a friendship. So the next time she sees her, Tsuya will make sure to lay it out clearly and concisely.
Following the same routine as usual, she'd leave for the tower lobby where Anna should be. The elevator ride down was filled with anticipation, briefcase in hand, her armory at her sides. A few minutes later, Anna would hear the elevator as it descends and hits the ground floor. The doors slide open to reveal the familiar figure as they step out, the clicking of heels approaching closer and closer. Now they stood face to face, Tsuya appears to have completely rebounded from her display earlier, taking up a much more calm and formal mood. There's no telling what she has in store for the training today, but she has her game face on.
"I believe you forgot this," she says, and hands the briefcase over to her confidently.