Incoming transmission... Source:------The Aett, Gran Canaria, Omega-49 Comm ID:----- Fith Godsmote Encryption:-- Fenrir Topic:-------Warming technology Recipient:------ Planetform Inc Signal strength:100% Data integrity:- 100%
Handshake protocol completed...
Opening message...
Well Met, representative of Planetform Inc. I am Fith Godsmote, Chief of Security for the Clan Wyrdmake.
Planetform Inc is a well reputed leader in the field of climate control and terraforming. We are in need of that expertise.
The clan resides on what is marked on the maps as 'Glebe Island', but which we claimed, Settled and now call the Aett, on the Planet Gran Canaria in Omega-49.
With the cooling of Gran Canaria slowly making the planet unlivable, our Clan chief has authorized investigation of ways to protect the Aett from the problems associated with the lowering temperature.
This is not a large scale job, as you may be used to, for the measures will only cover the island but we hope you will be able to assist.
Source:Sir Archibald Chamberlain, Planetform CEO Location:Canterbury Station, New London System Subject:Re: [✓] Warming Technology / [ ] Go frost your pumpkins, lads! Priority:
We here at Planetform's Technology division are completely unaware of your problem and we will happily take advantage of the situation sympathize with your plight. With our patented Global Warming™, Biochemical Blanket™, and n∅zone™ technologies, we can ensure your planet is turned from a frozen hellish wasteland into a balmy summer paradise. All year round.
Now, we here at Planetform have been eager to bring the wonders of our Terraforming Magic™ to the average consumer, through our Home Terraforming™ product line. The same powerful technologies used to build planets, now available in a size suitable for use in the home, at the office, or on the go! Thinking about your island's plight, we've seen a perfect opportunity for free advertizing to test some of our new creations in a public light.
Now, the first step is to gather scientific data on terrain, planetary conditions, water and air currents, etc. We shall send in a elderly violent drunkard science specialist to study your unique environment to determine exactly what technologies will be needed.
The initial surveying process is not cheap free. We offer one flat rate of $25,000,000,000,000 per square mile to gather the requisite pilot data, and then we can get down to the hard science of personalized terraforming of your little piece of paradise!
Thank you for your business
~Sir Archibald Chamberlain
PLANETFORM INCORPERATED "Playing god so you don't have to!"