The world has... changed. And went to hell. [color=#33CC00]But not a cool kind of Hell, but a very uncool one, where too many people are way too serious. Yes...
Sirius has gotten serious.
I went to Delta 20 minutes ago to give a business proposition to those silly hunters who dwell there as some raged monkeys. Quite surprisingly, they weren't clinging on their rocks near Dabadoru. On the contrary, they were actually patrolling the whole sector, having control, being all mean and s**t. So busy, so dramatic. It didn't took them them long to open fire at me without even taking few minutes to listen to me.
After docking at Freeport I finally managed to get them to listen to my proposal. The truth is that I came there to pay a bounty of 50 millions on one guy's head, who's really been bothering me these last several days.
That guy was me.
Imagine it, they refused me over some poor and twisted principles, pretending they're not greedy. They even kept on insulting me while some jerk was shooting mortars at my peaceful me. Such a shame.
So now I have no choice but to place a better, even more attractive bounty offer on my head and everyone can claim it. Even my Thugs. Whoever kills me in the next 7 days will get some serious Sirius credit(s). That someone will get unimaginable, taxfree amount of...
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You know very well that us Hunters don't fufill unlawful contracts, so there fore we let you go, if a lawful made a contract however, you would have been vaporized the moment we found you.
Max looked up from the reports of the damage to the Order fleet that his ships had caused tonight.
"Let's see - we took out an Osiris, 2 Gebs, a Resheph, a Hathor, and several fighters and bombers in exchange for ... one fighter. I'd say that our funds are doing quite nicely now. Maybe the Order ought to go hunt this piece of filth."
Looking at his desk, Max had an idea. "Jenny", he called in his secretary.
"Yes, Guildmaster?"
"Here - take this pistol, box it up, and ship it to The Joker. Tell him that he can stick it under his own chin and blow his brains out over a bulkhead with my compliments. I won't even charge him for the ammo he uses."
"Yes, Guildmaster."
"Oh, and make sure that it is published as well. This ... joke of his ... is such that NO bounty hunter ANYWHERE in Sirius is to take it. If the Mandalores want to claim it - well, they're mercenaries, and are free to do so. All hunters - whether they are in the BHG| or not, are hereby forbidden to take this specific bounty. We can still kill him, of course, since there are regular bounties available upon him. But none may claim this one."
(11-21-2013, 12:53 PM)Jihadjoe Wrote: Oh god... The end of days... Agmen agreed with me.
Is your secretary Jenny hot? I might kidnap her and give her a job at my All-night-Sluts Motel at Arranmore. I'm sure she'd earn more money that way. Dental coverage and all.
Why are you spoiling all the fun? All this killed order fellas you're talking about... Should I care about some nommie-fetish bunch of unorganized fools you killed up north? Oh wait, you hunter guys are hot for nomads as well. No wonder you spend so much time there. I feel sorry for the nommies. I really do. At least they try to make good jokes and in most cases they're even more funnier than I'll ever be.
All I wanted is to help Bounty Hunters earn some more money. I've heard two days ago that your guys are not insured, [color=#9999FF]that they're planning to go on strike, so that's why I came to Delta to help. Is this personal, Mad Maxey? Why don't you adore me like Navy does?
Tell you what; as soon as I launch my talk-show, I'll send you a invitation to be my first, honored guest. I'll even let you shoot at me after the show. Do we have a deal?
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Max looked at the latest pronouncement from the Joker.
Raising his eyes, he said, "This is quite serious. I think it's a good thing that Jenny went to the station instead of being here. I only hope - for the Joker's sake - that she doesn't see it."
His chief of staff, Harold Mudd, replied, "I think it'd be quite amusing, actually. She'd emasculate him with her toenails, presuming he hasn't already had everything removed. Seriously - threatening a trained assassin with something like this isn't serious - it's funny."
Sitting back in his chair, Max propped his feet on his desk. "I think that was one of George's better ideas, actually. Who better to provide security against assassination than assassins?"
Harold replied, "That's one reason why I'm glad YOU'RE in that chair, and not me. I heard that there were two recently foiled attempts against Damoclass. He's been irritating Sylpheed again."
"All right - enough pleasant thoughts of Jenny dismembering this clown. Let's get back to working on fleet deployments...."
(11-21-2013, 12:53 PM)Jihadjoe Wrote: Oh god... The end of days... Agmen agreed with me.
You have secretaries trained as assassins? Or is it other way around? Brilliant! [color=#33CC00]How come I never thought of something similar.
I was wrong about you huntin' fellas - you are interesting, if one has experienced nervous brakedown from watching too many trashy B grade Holo-V movies.
I'd like to join your faction. Seriously. I'd like to become a part of Guild. You have my promise that I won't turn on you nor I'll ever go rogue. If you refuse, let me at least rent some of your ships from time to time so I can at least pretend to be a hunter. You're already renting ships and I'm good as any other customer. Your company is experiencing recession like so many others out there and I still really, really want nothing more but to help.
Please consider this additional proposal and send me a request form via your 22nd hillybilly couriers.
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[END OF TRANSMISSION]
' Wrote:Max looked up from the reports of the damage to the Order fleet that his ships had caused tonight.
"Let's see - we took out an Osiris, 2 Gebs, a Resheph, a Hathor, and several fighters and bombers in exchange for ... one fighter. I'd say that our funds are doing quite nicely now. Maybe the Order ought to go hunt this piece of filth."
Looking at his desk, Max had an idea. "Jenny", he called in his secretary.
"Yes, Guildmaster?"
"Here - take this pistol, box it up, and ship it to The Joker. Tell him that he can stick it under his own chin and blow his brains out over a bulkhead with my compliments. I won't even charge him for the ammo he uses."
"Yes, Guildmaster."
"Oh, and make sure that it is published as well. This ... joke of his ... is such that NO bounty hunter ANYWHERE in Sirius is to take it. If the Mandalores want to claim it - well, they're mercenaries, and are free to do so. All hunters - whether they are in the BHG| or not, are hereby forbidden to take this specific bounty. We can still kill him, of course, since there are regular bounties available upon him. But none may claim this one."
"Here - take this pistol, box it up, and ship it to The Joker. Tell him that he can stick it under his own chin and blow his brains out over a bulkhead with my compliments. I won't even charge him for the ammo he uses."