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+--- Thread: Ape zoned. (/showthread.php?tid=82402)
Ape zoned. - Nicolas - 06-21-2012
' Wrote:This whole friendzone thing never seemed to hit me. I would be friends with them, and then sleep with them.
What's with this friend zone thing?
Ahh the one and only ****zone.
Ape zoned. - Seth Karlo - 06-21-2012
There are many, many ways to do this. I will outline a few of the more successful ones below. Good luck.
1. The pity screw.
This works very well if the girl you're trying to hook up with is beyond your league. Everyone wants to save someone, and this will be the desire you're manipulating, but it's a careful balance between making them want to 'save' you and you seeming like a whiney git. Start by LISTENING to what they're interested in. From here, you want to link it to your own past (bull- uhh, I'll replace another word with kettle- bullkettling is perfectly acceptable here, so long as you can pull it off.) The key here is to point out you're on a dry spell, compliment how they look, how much you wish you'd met them on another day etc etc. Alcohol works wonders at this point.
Note: if you suck at flirting, this one will not work.
2. The attractive ploy.
This takes some time. If you've become stuck in the friendzone, it's because you are, fundamentally, unattractive to them. So long as you have sufficient motivation (and I bet wanting to see said friend naked is sufficient motivation) you can act like the kinds of douche bags she is dating. You even have a rather useful insight in that she will probably TELL YOU what about them she doesn't like. Wait until she dumps her latest, go for a drink and act like her 'perfect guy'. Be blunt and confident and tell her you like her. This will work wonders for moving out of the 'friend zone'. Nine times out of ten the guy is too cowardly to actually move it himself. She will likely be desperate for company after losing her boyfriend and boom, you get laid.
3. The 'oh god, did that really happen?' party screw.
This is ethically a little hazy, but if you're 18 and the most action you've gotten is an internet porno, then I suppose life owes you one. Your call. This requires large amounts of alcohol and something that makes your desired target... ahem... horny. I've found Sex and the City to work quite well. For them that is. Once sufficiently... ahem... turned on, make a move and you'll find them surprisingly receptive. After waking up, blame alcohol if you're a coward or move onto a working relationship if you have a pair.
4. The 'I'm English don't you know?' move. Note: Only works in North America.
Speak to a North American girl in a thick English accent. Get laid.
Meh, that's it for now. Go and good luck!
Ape zoned. - Cond0r - 06-21-2012
the guru has spoken guys)
Ape zoned. - Seth Karlo - 06-21-2012
Strangely enough, this is not the first time I have been called a sex guru on these forums, while I must take my hat off to the long term married men of the community. THAT takes skill.
Ape zoned. - Cond0r - 06-21-2012
Im dazzled by the beauty of it all, master)
Ape zoned. - Seth Karlo - 06-21-2012
Oh jesus. How old are you?
Wait, I don't want to know. I do not condone sex before the legal age in your country blah blah blah etc etc try and get a girlfriend and do not, whatever you do coerce a girl into having sex with you if she does not want to.
Remember, the awesomeness is when they want you, not when you want them.
Ape zoned. - Cond0r - 06-21-2012
' Wrote:Oh jesus. How old are you?ok mister ferrari)
Wait, I don't want to know. I do not condone sex before the legal age in your country blah blah blah etc etc try and get a girlfriend and do not, whatever you do coerce a girl into having sex with you if she does not want to.
Remember, the awesomeness is when they want you, not when you want them.
Ape zoned. - Seth Karlo - 06-21-2012
Aston Martin my friend, Aston Martin.
Then maybe a Lamborghini.
Ape zoned. - r3vange - 06-21-2012
[color=#FFFFFF]Seth, offering dating/pick up advice to Disco is like trying to teach a monkey how to assemble an atomic bomb using a pair of pliers and a roll of duct tape.
Ape zoned. - Silver - 06-21-2012
Oh gods.
From apezone to wtfisthiszone.
Priceless flood is priceless.
Now where's the bus stop to the moon?
~K.
From apezone to wtfisthiszone.
Priceless flood is priceless.
Now where's the bus stop to the moon?
~K.