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+--- Thread: With the french come the french pirates? (/showthread.php?tid=13136)
With the french come the french pirates? - n00bl3t - 10-20-2008
' Wrote:Explanation please?
Whats that?
It means this topic should be sent to Flood because it is getting spammed.
With the french come the french pirates? - Akumabito - 10-20-2008
French military history
- Gallic Wars
- Lost. In a war whose ending foreshadows the next 2000 years of French history, France is conquered by of all things, an Italian. [Or at ths time in history, a Roman -ed.]
- Hundred Years War
- Mostly lost, saved at last by female schizophrenic who inadvertently creates The First Rule of French Warfare; "France's armies are victorious only when not led by a Frenchman." Sainted.
- Italian Wars
- Lost. France becomes the first and only country to ever lose two wars when fighting Italians.
- Wars of Religion
- France goes 0-5-4 against the Huguenots
- Thirty Years War
- France is technically not a participant, but manages to get invaded anyway. Claims a tie on the basis that eventually the other participants started ignoring her.
- War of Revolution
- Tied. Frenchmen take to wearing red flowerpots as chapeaux.
- The Dutch War
- Tied
- War of the Augsburg League/King William's War/French and Indian War
- Lost, but claimed as a tie. Three ties in a row induces deluded Frogophiles the world over to label the period as the height of French military power.
- War of the Spanish Succession
- Lost. The War also gave the French their first taste of a Marlborough, which they have loved every since.
- American Revolution
- In a move that will become quite familiar to future Americans, France claims a win even though the English colonists saw far more action. This is later known as "de Gaulle Syndrome", and leads to the Second Rule of French Warfare; "France only wins when America does most of the fighting."
- French Revolution
- Won, primarily due the fact that the opponent was also French.
- The Napoleonic Wars
- Lost. Temporary victories (remember the First Rule!) due to leadership of a Corsican, who ended up being no match for a British footwear designer.
- The Franco-Prussian War
- Lost. Germany first plays the role of drunk Frat boy to France's ugly girl home alone on a Saturday night.
- World War I
- Tied and on the way to losing, France is saved by the United States [Entering the war late -ed.]. Thousands of French women find out what it's like to not only sleep with a winner, but one who doesn't call her "Fraulein." Sadly, widespread use of condoms by American forces forestalls any improvement in the French bloodline.
- World War II
- Lost. Conquered French liberated by the United States and Britain just as they finish learning the Horst Wessel Song.
- War in Indochina
- Lost. French forces plead sickness; take to bed with the Dien Bien Flu
- Algerian Rebellion
- Lost. Loss marks the first defeat of a western army by a Non-Turkic Muslim force since the Crusades, and produces the First Rule of Muslim Warfare; "We can always beat the French." This rule is identical to the First Rules of the Italians, Russians, Germans, English, Dutch, Spanish, Vietnamese and Esquimaux.
- War on Terrorism
- France, keeping in mind its recent history, surrenders to Germans and Muslims just to be safe. Attempts to surrender to Vietnamese ambassador fail after he takes refuge in a McDonald's.
With the french come the french pirates? - OsoRojo - 10-20-2008
I like it. However, just waiting for someone to mention William the Conquer vs. Britian. If you do, and this is just to nip-it-in-the-bud, he was a Norman, a descendent of the Vikings, and not a true frenchman either.
With the french come the french pirates? - Grimly - 10-20-2008
<_<
VIVE LA FRANCE !!!
A bit more seriously, we could get a lot of names for the french pirates, we will see which one will be chosen by Igis later. Just wait !
With the french come the french pirates? - jammi - 10-20-2008
Akumabito that's the funniet thing you've ever posted :lol:
' Wrote:Now that's funny!! I like what George Patton said, "I'd rather have a German line in front of me than a French line behind me."Is the link a rickroll? Or a blank page? I aint clickin' until you explain.
And for more fun, check this:
French Military Victories
With the french come the french pirates? - Turkish - 10-20-2008
The link leads to what Akumbito copy and pasted.
With the french come the french pirates? - Zero755 - 10-20-2008
' Wrote:Akumabito that's the funniet thing you've ever posted :lol:
Is the link a rickroll? Or a blank page? I aint clickin' until you explain.
//Freakin Signed
:lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
With the french come the french pirates? - dr lameos - 10-20-2008
I love the distrust!
Its a link to what Akumbito copied
With the french come the french pirates? - Zero755 - 10-20-2008
I dont care, I was too concerned with a rick rollage to click on it, Aku clicked and pasted so he gets the Kudos.
With the french come the french pirates? - Zygoeths - 10-20-2008
' Wrote:*Ahem*
Standard French military procedure:
Upon seeing the enemy, SURRENDER IMMEDIATELY. Your best bet is to take up space in there prisons and eat there food.
Wow... nice generalization. What about us, were the craziest bastards ever, 8 canadians were killed by americans (on the same side) in iraq.... probally more. Besides, in WW2 the french made a mistake and the germans came from a diffrent side, which would mess anyone up.