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Morph Logs: Immertum - Printable Version

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+------ Thread: Morph Logs: Immertum (/showthread.php?tid=136765)

Morph Logs: Immertum - TheShooter36 - 03-07-2016

The first attempt in Coronado with a IRG Zoner. Then Battlegroup Auxesia joined as well.

[+]Coronado Flight


RE: Morph Logs: Immertum - Nosferath - 03-10-2016

Glad to see your first log. And it's nice, for a first one. Let's see:
  • *Try to find more ways for calling humans. 'Darklings', as well as any 'Dark-sth', gets stale quickly.
  • *It's common to omit certain words in nom speech, but make sure these words are not necessary or important. For instance, *** 'what' ~darkling~ 'doing'*** is pretty incomplete. You could have said *** 'what' is ~darkling~ 'doing' (?)***, which greatly improves understandability. The (?) is the most common way of formulating questions in nom speech, but you can make up your own.
  • *I really like these **descriptions**. They are very useful, you can convey a lot of non-verbal communication with that. Keep doing it.
    PS: I re-read them, and realized they were visions. Still, they are quite good, I liked the descriptions. Originally I thought you were describing what your nomad was doing, what the others could see. I guess I skipped through it too fast.

So, in short: Good first log. Make your phrases more complete, and add more vocabulary.
I'm not going to ask for complex/uncommon conversation topics yet (unlike "What are you", "Why do humans attack each other", "I'm a young nomad, eager to learn", which appear in almost every log of a morph that has just begun its journey)

RE: Morph Logs: Immertum - Mr.Badger - 04-20-2016

Shooter is not @home and asked me to post his chatlogs

[+]logs


RE: Morph Logs: Immertum - Nosferath - 05-15-2016

Sorry for taking so long to reply. There are some minor details that should be corrected in this log. If you post more logs, I'll have more to work with.
In the meanwhile:
-There's no need to correct a mistake like using "your" instead of "yours". There's no right way in nomad speech. Also, inside |K'Hara, using OOC messages is frowned upon.
-Unless you're surrounded by many people, try not to address them by their character name. Instead of "[CR|-Bravo.One]", you could have said "Son of Crayter".
-This is a very personal comment, so take it with a pinch of salt: I don't like the word "Void". It's becoming overused, just like Dark-things long time ago.

There's not much else that can be said for now. Again, post more logs so I know what we're dealing with, and I can give you proper guidelines.