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+--- Thread: Saigo.Watanabe (/showthread.php?tid=13788)
Saigo.Watanabe - Saigo.Watanabe - 11-16-2008
Story
Constructive Criticism and praise only.
Saigo.Watanabe - Saigo.Watanabe - 11-26-2008
No Comments? awh. Well i guess this needs a BuMp!
Saigo.Watanabe - Saigo.Watanabe - 11-29-2008
Again no comments yet, please post ^^
Bump.
Saigo.Watanabe - Saigo.Watanabe - 12-07-2008
Awww, Come on guys comment! I need feedback!:P
Saigo.Watanabe - kikatsu - 12-08-2008
seems very good so far, makes me wonder what the thing in the end was for sure
and thats very bold of the Navy I would say
**side note
i do have a crime boss who operates out of Hokkiado, Abura Koefutoro, maybe we will run into each other sometime
Saigo.Watanabe - Ironwatsas - 12-09-2008
Not enough refrances to/stuff about Me in it.
Other then that, good job. Still waiting to see what comes next.
Saigo.Watanabe - Saigo.Watanabe - 06-09-2009
Bump for a new part just done.
Saigo.Watanabe - Saigo.Watanabe - 01-12-2010
Bump:Dnew part done
Saigo.Watanabe - Laowai - 01-12-2010
Ah yes... the story feedback want....;)
I did this for a while, then i realised the cold harsh truth, stories are only read at certain times, by certain people and its few and far between.
Thats not to say they dont get read, - but more that, they do, but not often, and not regularly, and only by a few people when the mood takes them.
I know if only 4 people i think who have read the entirety of my Corsair story for example (and it is rather long).
However, i do read them, when the mood takes me now:)I read yours....
I can only give feedback based on what i like in a story, that doesnt mean its really a good criticism of your story at all, whether its actually good or bad from a literary point of view... it just means its my opinion of whether it has the things i like to find in fiction that i read!;)
So far? Its not bad - Though to me, whats lacking is a real depth of character... who is this person, what motivates her, what does she think, feel... real chunky background that you can sink your teeth into and suspend disbelief for a moment and actually get into the head of this fictional character.
That said, so far the writing is solid, its descriptive of events in a good way, i say keep it up and expand it.
Lastly, general advice for stories (again this is just my opinion) - I tend to use mine as ways of fleshing out my characters in a way that i cant completely do in game, its as much for me as anyone else... when i go ingame, i have this massive and complex backstory and various story arcs that give me a very real and solid foundation for who my character's are and why they do what they do.... I do like writing them... Its nice to know some people read them as well, but i dont bank on anyone reading them, its just a nice surprise when i find someone has.
Anyway, good work and keep it up!
Saigo.Watanabe - Saigo.Watanabe - 01-12-2010
Yeh- about the backstory, im yet to do that little arc- but im doing it as a family arc:
http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?sh...mp;#entry340670
As she has 3 sisters and so id have to flesh it out as a family- then do the usual depth into each character there aswell.
It's just something i haven't got into teh right mind to write up yet, but probably will within the next few weeks.
Also cheers for the comments Lao- they are always welcome ^^