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+--- Thread: Son of the Thalatte (/showthread.php?tid=140474)
Son of the Thalatte - Reeves - 06-20-2016
Log : 1
Many associate the darkness with cold, despite being enveloped by it I felt perfectly warm. I felt nurtured and cared for, whatever I was locked in began feeling smaller and smaller to me. Occasionally a burst of thoughts would writhe through my mind, all of them purely educational. From technical skills such as flying ships, firearm usage to the more mundane such as how to walk properly and social behavior. Suddenly my darkness wasn't so quiet anymore, the thoughts in my mind became walls, each of them closing in on me more rapidly by the second. Eventually there was no space left, I feared my existence would end the moment those walls of thought crushed me. I realize now I was wrong. My eyes flew open, just as the fluids of this tank began to drain and the previous weightlessness of the liquids that once comforted me now gushed away. The glass slowly slid down and I fell forwards, landing with both arms preventing me from slamming onto the ground. Someone passed me a towel, as they did I noticed three of us to the left of me and four of us to the right. For some reason my mind already identified them as my siblings, so I decided not to fight the notion. A man who I identified as the curator walked between us, instructing everyone to select a pair of undergarments from the pile laid out. Nobody hesitated and nobody questioned.
A Doctor who I identified with the name 'Glass' ran several tests on me. Checking my general health, fitness and other apt fields before clearing me. A few more specific tests were ran to evaluate my marksmanship, which proved to be above average but not as good as one of my siblings, I began coming to the conclusion that almost everything I did wasn't as good as how one of my siblings did it, for a brief moment I felt disappointed in myself.
Glass decided to run one more test. He had us all separated and scattered throughout the ship. And on his signal we had to begin relocating one another and then return to him within two minutes. The first one of my siblings I managed to track down was ironically the one who liked to stay to himself, my mind identified him as Pike. Not long after we found another one of our siblings, Aria. The two followed me as we raced down seemingly random hallways, they weren't sure where I was leading them, but I knew exactly where I needed to go. I was a tracker, able to locate things with ease. It struck me then, that each of us had a purpose. Each contributed pieces to form a whole.
We broke Glass' expectation by returning to him in a group of ten after just over a minute had past. He seemed pleased, he took a good look at all of us and then the Curator returned to the room, instructing us to walk towards the large containers pressed into the wall, each had a number on it and somehow we all knew our numbers. I walked up to the container numbered 'ZZ-0007'. A small piece of metal began to slide out of the way revealing the contents inside. There was an entire suit of combat armor inside, the helmet showing me a reflection of the room around me and myself. Moments later I was no longer looking at the suit but wearing it. And the rest of my siblings were wearing theirs. The curator walked up to each of us, giving us a name. He eventually approached me, put a hand on my shoulder like he did to the rest and said "You. You are Tacitus."
RE: Son of the Thalatte - Reeves - 06-22-2016
Log : 2
Today was our first official operation, a quick extraction and escort assignment. A drop ship flown by Venus would land on Cambridge, deploy us and we would retrieve two Auxesians and leave with haste. It was pretty straight forward and there was no real need to be heavily armed.
I walked up to my equipment container and removed the under-slung shotgun from my rifle, cutting down some of the weight. Marshal suddenly appeared in the large room ordering everyone to move, Proteus darted off first and everyone else followed, while Pike decided he wanted to move out after everyone else.
Venus said something witty the moment we all boarded but I wasn't really paying attention, my mind was occupied focusing itself on the objective and what may or may not take place once we landed. There was a bit of background chatter as the Eidolon Wrath cleared us for launch. I felt a force exert itself onto my gut with the force of taking off, but it only lasted a split second before it was replaced by nothingness again. "E.T.A Twenty." Venus muttered into the comm's. All of us acknowledged it but didn't say anything, glancing around at each other. It might have felt like we had no other choice, but we did truly trust each other with our lives.
My eyes were closed for almost all of the flight, right up until a loud buzzer went off. "No time to sit around and look pretty, light is green start dropping off." Venus said with a touch of mischief to her voice. Pike was the first to hop out once the bay doors began to groan and lower. Artemis followed behind him and I went behind her, everyone else hopping out shortly after.
"Way-point set, Davara move out. No engagements unless absolutely necessary." Marshal commanded standing in the middle of all of us, checking his rifle before taking a tactical stance, sweeping and clearing the way ahead. My purpose was tracking and advanced reconnaissance, so of course I darted forward in a sprint, leaving the general vicinity of the group to assess the situation at our extraction site. "Tacitus, secure the extraction site." Marshal instructed me over the comm's, I could make out the blurry outline of his shadow on the ground behind me, it wasn't a long sprint before I came across our objective, Keeper Raven and another Auxesian who I identified as 'Miri Keating'. I swung my rifle away, the sling clinging to my shoulder kept it from flying off onto the ground and it instead hung on my back and waist. Keating had somehow managed to steal a land based vehicle and get Keeper Raven all the way out here despite being somewhat injured herself, Keating exited the vehicle and dropped to her knees once I got close, Raven hanging from her shoulder. Keating's clothes were practically drenched in blood that didn't seem to be hers and Raven was wrapped in a blanket due to her clothes being terribly torn. I knelt down near both of them and relayed the situation "Objective located, both priority assets severely wounded, prep-" I heard rushed foot steps beside me and quickly yanked my side-arm out of its holster, grabbing the arm of my attacker. Some drunk vagrant trying to gut me with a knife, I buried my side-arm into his stomach and fired, using his belly as a make-shift silencer. His body went limp from the pain and immediate blood loss and I kicked him away. I heard another set of rushed footsteps behind me, and I saw the brief outline of a gun before Artemis practically hugged me and took the bullet in her shoulder. Once she stumbled out of the way I returned fire, putting a revolver round through his head. "Gone loud." I muttered into the comm's. It was technical jargon that I had to discharge my weapon in such a manner that probably alerted everyone to our presence now. A gunshot in the heart of Cambridge wouldn't go unnoticed, not for long at least. I quickly checked on Artemis, the wound was purely superficial, grazed her shoulder but didn't do any real damage, she was still able to heft her heavy machine gun. Marshal and Four came up from behind, pushing stretchers with them, they were quick to stop, pick up our downed allies, load them onto the stretchers and begin our extraction. A vehicle in pursuit of our objective came whirling around the bend, but Artemis let her Machine gun loose on it, riddling the engine block with gunfire, igniting the entire hunk of metal in a ball of flames, thankfully it didn't explode. "Venus, get ready to move." Pike suggested over the squad comm's. We raced our way back, frantically running and pushing the stretchers up the ramp and into the ship, I felt myself suddenly being raised up while the ramp began to close while I was on it. I rolled inside and planted by feet on the hull of the ship, nearly losing balance but managing to put myself into my seat without error. Everyone else was already inside and Marshal quickly gave Venus the signal to get us out of here.
Four, our designated field medic gave both of them the very best medical care he could provide. It wasn't looking good though, one of Raven's twins were in critical condition, while her and Keating themselves were covered in equally severe injuries. Their arms and legs badly bruised. I could hear Four talking to Raven, but my mind was blanked out and unable to hear the words going back and forth. Once cleared fine for now, Keating got up and threw herself into one of the empty seats, strapping herself in.
The flight back felt shorter than the way to Cambridge. Four and Marshal rushed the Keeper on her stretcher out of the bay door for Doctor Glass to provide further medical assistance. The rest of us just remained idle aboard the station, anxious to hear about the status of both of them. When I saw the way the Curator walked by, I knew something had gone wrong and that the medical procedure didn't go as it might have been planned.
Marshal informed me much later that...Raven had lost one of the twins, it felt like I stopped breathing for a few seconds when he told me, but there was nothing any of us could have done, I consoled myself with that fact. Along with that news, Marshal informed us of our new duties, which was to personally guard the Curator, Aria, the Keeper and Keating. Each of us was assigned an individual role. My post was just outside, near the door. Occasionally we would rotate to rest, whenever we did I would swap posts to inside the med-bay near the very same doors I would stand next to outside. There wasn't much I could say or do in the way of consolation, but I would try and be as flexible as possible to any requests they might have, especially in a time like this... no parent should outlive their child.
RE: Son of the Thalatte - Reeves - 06-23-2016
Log : 3
Marshal rotated his post with me very early in the morning, at least according to the time standard we were following. He needed to stretch his legs and I needed to rest mine, having spent three hours standing. I nodded at him and slipped inside, shutting the door behind me quietly so as to not disturb anyone before putting myself down on the stool adjacent to the door. It felt better now that the aching in my feet began to subside slowly, rather than having to shift my weight from foot to foot. The room lights had automatically set themselves to be slightly dim, not disturbing the people in the room trying to rest but making walking around convenient. Two of the beds in the medical bay were pushed together, Hunt and Raven laying in each others arms. Despite the recent events, I felt a small sense of relief that they were there for each other in the face of grief and emotional turmoil. Facing the pain together seemed more efficient than doing so alone, Pike would most definitely disagree but that's irrelevant.
Aria was in the bed next to Raven and Hunt's, all of them sleeping in peace. I sincerely wanted everyone here to recover from whatever it is that was ailing them as soon as possible. My dedication came willingly, giving up comforts I enjoyed like extra hours of sleep, whatever they needed I would do, so long as it didn't put anyone else at risk. Marshal told me to be alert and attentive but to not go too far above the call of my duties. I made observations on what I was feeling, an emotion called 'Empathy'. Not to be confused with sympathy. I understood the pain without needing to feel it myself, in a way knowing what happened made me feel the same sense of despair everyone else did. Emotional terms are difficult to quantify and explain.
I had to put my thoughts aside the moment the door opened abruptly. I stood up immediately and turned my head to face whoever it was that just walked in. I saw a clear view of a face and a figure that my mind identified as 'Noah'. From just his face and mannerisms I identified two base emotions currently comprising his core personality right now, those being regret and sorrow, mixed together and directed at himself. My duties are not to eavesdrop or involve myself in conversations that don't concern me, he and Zero-Two(Use Aria to address her in the future to avoid having to deal with aggression from Noah.) exchanged a conversation, he was mentally beating himself up so to speak, evident in how he acted at least to me. As respectable as that is, I feel he might push himself too hard to seek the redemption his mind so desperately needs to get over the regret and sorrow.
He didn't stay very long nor did he disturb anyone. He came with the sincere intention of checking on his friends and left when he saw them doing as well as they possibly could be right now. I observed him as he left, his pace was brisk and from the direction he was walking I assumed he was going to the training room to improve his physical attributes in some form or other. I asked Aria whether she wanted me to get her breakfast, food and water were important for recovery, she didn't seem in the mood to really eat anything and she politely declined that offer. I made no arguments in reply, only she would know when eating was necessary, my ability to judge appropriate timing hinged on the limitations of my own perspective. The doors opened again and Keating entered the room, limping her way to a free bed next to Aria's and laying down, quickly pulling a blanket over her. She didn't seem to pay any attention to any of the Davara squad members in the room. I studied another emotional based reaction I was having, termed as 'Admiration'. Tactically speaking, the scenario could have easily turned out much worse than it did, despite the trauma of what happened Keating kept her resolve, terminated the hostile targets on sight, stole a land based vehicle and almost extracted Raven herself, only calling for assistance when it was truly necessary. Despite her actions, I could sense a feeling of mistrust from Raven and Hunt towards her. Though I'm sure their feelings formed for good reason, I didn't share their suspicions, strategically speaking if she truly was someone they couldn't trust, she would not have risked her life in a situation wherein she wouldn't have been gotten anything in return. I rotated out of the room, putting another member of the Davara squadron in my place, though I was willing to give up some of the hours I needed for rest, I still needed to keep a few so as to maintain efficiency.
Following Morning:
I rotated back to my previous post inside the room, Pike was there as well, compared to me he was more 'Human' in general, capable of having a sense of humor and his own unique personality, while I seemingly lacked one entirely. Keating and Aria woke up shortly after I walked in. Aria was pulled out of development much earlier than any of us were, she was very different due to that, highly emotional but still extremely skilled and competitive, though she lacked the same mental programming as those of us that developed completely and were flushed on our completion date.
Eventually Raven had to use the bathroom facility, but her current condition made using the toilet alone incredibly difficult, therefore Hunt readily gave her his assistance. He set her down in a chair and used it as a platform to carefully push her along to the bathroom, once they were getting close to the door, I walked over and opened it for them. Once they were both inside I closed it and stood within the general vicinity, ready to open it again so they could come back out without having to trouble themselves. There was an awkward conversation between the two of them which evaded my attempts to ignore it, but stating the details here would be inappropriate and against my nature and mental programming. Hunt and Raven asked me to check on 'Inge' so that I would move away from the door and give them some space, even though I was outside I understood why being in vicinity would make someone uncomfortable. I acknowledged the command but didn't know who 'Inge' was. I requested further clarification on who exactly that was and Hunt replied "Miri Keating, blonde." Raven said something in addition to that but those were the identifying features I paid attention to. I picked her out within a split second after I was given clarification and approached her bedside and asked "Ma'am, do you require anything?" I placed my hand on her shoulder gently as a gesture of good will or something of the like. She turned over, gave me a soft smile and asked for another glass of water. I promptly nodded at her and paced out of the room for a few moments, there was a water tank in a general waiting room for guests, I pulled one of the plastic cups out of the pile and filled it up with room temperature water. I walked back quickly while being carefully not to spill the contents of the cup, slipped back inside and shut the door behind me, returning to Inge's bedside and handing her the cup of water. "Do you require food, ma'am?" I asked her, hoping she would say yes. "I'm okay, thanks." She said with a small nod as she sipped from her drink. "Understood." I took a few steps away from her bed and stood guard near the door that allows entry and exit to this medical bay. While I was standing there I caught a glimpse of her eyeing me with a contemplative expression, I returned the look and she quickly turned her eyes down to her cup, shaking away whatever she was thinking about. I thoughtfully analysed her mannerisms and what her facial expression was like just then, more of a force of habit than anything else.
I requested clarification from Inge on what her preference in name was, so I knew what to call her. Pike helped humanize my question and she said either name would work. Hunt and Raven came out of the bathroom just then and he explained Miri worked best in public and Inge was fine in private. Pike looked between the three of us and said "Tacitus is all formal." I openly agreed with his observation, he wasn't wrong.
"Hey Cactus. " Raven said looking at the ceiling and stopping her swaying. "How long are you here for?". Pike answered for me saying "He just started his shift. I'm rotating out in five with Artemis.". Raven leaned upwards, looking at both of us. "Tell me. " - "Do you enjoy standing there, practically being the man-servant?" I could tell she was just testing my personality. "To serve the people in this room is an honor, ma'am." I said with the utmost sincerity. "I don't care, I'm asking for your feelings. " She asked further. "Personal feelings identical to original answer." She gave up asking me after I said that. She told Pike something about him being her new personal entertainer, I didn't pay much attention to it. Not long after their witty conversation Artemis entered the room, I greeted them with a respectful nod and they returned it before taking a seat. "So, Artepiss, what is it that you specialise in?" I somehow felt Raven's mispronunciation of Artemis' name was intentional. "Squad Support Gunner." She said plainly. "Suppression, area denial. Covering fire. Heavy Machine Guns." - "Yes, I get what it means. " Raven said in response to Artemis' explanation. Say - Artehiss, would you rather be one foot shorter, or two feet taller?" I was beginning to feel this conversation may turn out slightly malicious. "One foot shorter, Shatfire Raven." - "Oooh. Sassy. " Raven said in reply to her witty response. I took a glance at Inge once, noting her contemplative expression and making assumptions as to what she might be thinking, she looked back at me, frowning a little uncomfortably before turning her gaze back to her cup. Artemis looked over towards me and called for my attention. Just as she did Raven asked "So, Artehiss, how long is your shift?". Artemis briefly turns to Raven. "Two hours for me. I'm needed for eval'." - "Good." Raven enthused. I stopped focusing on their conversation when Hunt asked me to help Inge out with one of the isolation rooms, since she requested some privacy. I offered to help her walk, but she insisted she could do so herself. I cleared a table out of the way, unlocked the nearest isolation room that was free and gave her brief instructions on how the door system worked. Hunt gave her a hug before she could enter the room and said they would see each other in the morning, she limped inside and I shut the door behind her, telling her to ask for assistance if she needed it, she thanked me for offering and said she just wanted to rest, I quickly returned to my own post once she said that.
"You requested my attention earlier?" I said to Artemis, interrupting the intimidation game going on between her and Raven. Artemis kept her stare locked in place. "What has two legs and no personality?'. Artemis leans forward, changing her area of focus to Raven's eyes. "Look down at your feet for the answer, Tass.". The answer hit me, so I didn't look down and just maintained guard over the area. "Opinion...noted." I said, somewhat confused. "You'll get one eventually." Artemis smirks. "It's meant to be a joke.". She asked me to try a joke, so I made one based on an observation I made about her "What uses big weaponry but only to compensate for bad aim?". "Ohohoho. That's a good one." - "You're getting it." Artemis stood up and walked over to me. She gave me a pat on the shoulder.
I'm not sure exactly what happened after that, but Raven called Artemis to come closer and she did, once she was within proximity, Raven grabbed her by the back of my head and instantly my protective instincts and programming went into a civil war with each other. One half telling me to restrain Raven, the other telling me to not interfere. I tried not to focus what was happening and eventually pulled Artemis away, only for her to walk back up to Raven and continue their conversation. Eventually she rotated out of the room and I watched her leave, upset over what had just happened. I left the room myself briefly and when I returned, Hunt, Raven and I discussed what just happened, I made my opinion clear and it seemed to anger Raven that I didn't agree with her punishment of pouring water over Artemis' head and comparing her to a used first slice of bread. I ignored everything else that was being said but made sure to voice my opinions, Aria tripped over and distracted me from the conversation, I probably angered Raven more by directly ignoring her to tend to Aria and leaving the room a few times.
Hours later:
I decided I would try and get everyone to eat, so I picked up four sandwiches from the cafeteria and brought them with me back to the med-bay. Once I made sure everyone who was present had one, I kept one on a table for Raven, and walked towards Inge's door with the last one left. I knocked, identified myself and eventually she gave me permission to enter her isolation room, I promptly walked to her bedside within the room and handed her the sandwich "Thanks." She said quietly, taking the sandwich in her hands while eyeing me again in a slightly questioning way. I reassured her I wasn't as intimidating as I looked and even revealed my facial features for good measure by collapsing my helmet. "I guess it doesn't hurt to have a little extra protection." She said quietly while she observed my facial features. "Do you want anything to drink? A cup of tea...coffee, other preferences?" I asked. "Just water will do." She mumbled after she emptied her mouth. I quickly filled her a cup from the machine that dispensed it in the room and handed it to her, she once again thanked me. "Have you been here all night?" She asked. "I have, yes." Deciding being honest about it was best. "I see... how are the rest doing?" She asked quietly. "As well as can be expected...given what happened. I do hope they get better." There was no real positive answer to be given. "I hope they will manage." She said quietly, looking into her cup. "How long do you work here?" She asked quietly, trying to change the subject. I had to lie to her, I couldn't let her know what I really was, even though it felt wrong when trying to build a friendship. "Not too long, I worked elsewhere before." I acted as natural about that lie as possible. "Hm... and where are you from?" She asked quietly before taking a bite again while looking at me curiously. "My parents and I moved around a lot, hard to call one place Home more than the others." My brain ached from fabricating that, but it was necessary. "May I ask where you are from?". The fact the conversation no longer focused on me helped me relax. She hesitated a little before curling up her lips in thought. "Uhm... Rheinland, Berlin actually." she said quietly. "You know how Auxesia isn't really liked by some people, right?" She asked. "Yes..." The image of some random old man trying to stab me was still fresh in my mind, so is the fact I blew their spine out. "That's why I'm also known as Miri here. So I won't get into too much trouble with home. I'd like to keep the chance to see my parents still, if they ever surface again." She said quietly, moving her cup in a circle before gulping up the water. "I understand." I truly did and I did indeed admire Inge for all that she seemed to be and proved she was. "Don't go around freely announcing that I'm Inge please? Only a few know and I'd like to keep it like that." She asked me. "I won't. I...promise." It struck me that it's the first time I've ever promised anyone anything willingly. "Thank you." She said with a soft smile. I made it a point to remember this moment and returned her smile.
"I know...part of you...blames yourself for what happened out there." - "But may I give you my honest opinion on the matter?". I simply had to reassure her, I could tell she was quietly blaming herself for not being able to do as much as she would have liked. "Go ahead." She said after a quiet sigh. "I think given the situation, what you did brought about the best outcome possible for everyone involved. You showed true loyalty, strength and the utmost solidarity." - "There are very few people who can exercise any of those qualities, and fewer still who can present all of them at the same time.". I don't know whether those words meant anything to her, but I did mean every single one of them. "One can always do better." She said quietly, laying her sandwich away on the small desk. "Perfection is the rival of the good." - "You don't have to agree with my view, I felt it was worth saying it at the very least.". I could only hope she'd at least think about what I said and stop blaming herself. "Thank you." She said again quietly. I collected the empty cup and the half eaten sandwich and said "I'll let you get back to rest.". She nodded and kept quiet. I left the room thereafter, disposing of the empty cup and putting the left-over sandwich on a table to free up my hand. Several hours later, Inge came out of the isolation room and her and Aria got dressed and left the medical bay, both cleared able bodied enough to not have to stay within the medical bay for further care. Nothing of importance happened after that, at least not to my knowledge. Same routine, sitting down on a stool near the door and making sure everyone got what they needed and that security was upheld. The silence gave me the peace I needed to analyse my thoughts.
Developments for personal reference:
I decided to start including these in my own logs purely for myself, I want to keep track of any developments that happen on a personal level with me and give myself reminders of things I need to do or simply put down thoughts that otherwise aren't important enough to really mention directly.
Personal developments:
I seem to have begun being able to make my method of speech more humanized after talking to Inge. I would like to talk to her more, not just the fact that it helps me improve my otherwise robotic speech but also to understand her more, she's just intriguing.
Proteus seems to think I've began developing a sense of humor, which is good, I suppose?
I also felt empathy and admiration, my emotional spectrum improving greatly from what it was from when I was first flushed.
Things I need to do or want to do:
I feel as if Raven angered quite quickly, whatever the reason I need to figure it out as discretely as possible, if I know what's causing it besides what seems to be complications with herself I may be able to help and provide solutions.
Artemis took a bullet for me during our extraction operation, I feel she deserves at least a thanks for it and should express my gratitude verbally and in person when I see her next.
RE: Son of the Thalatte - Reeves - 06-24-2016
Log : 4
Having just been rotated and given the opportunity to go rest, I decided to at least check on how Inge was doing after being discharged. I raised a hand to my helmet after I keyed in her individual frequency on my PDA.
There was a moment of silence as the communication link waits for her to accept it on the receiving end. I've never had this problem before, but while the tone of the comm's remained idle, I found it hard to think of what I should say first, or how to even say hello. No matter what combination I tried mentally it didn't sound good enough.
"Hello?" she asked, seemingly a little unsure about why me of all people were reaching out to her.
"Kea- Mi- Inge...sorry for calling unannounced. I know you got discharged recently and just wanted to check if you were feeling better." My tone although nervous at first managed to return to normal.
"Erhm... I'm doing alright I guess, although I won't be flying any time soon still." She replied quietly.
I knew for a fact she was staying on the Freeport and I feared that if I continued this conversation on the comm's it would be short lived. "Recovery is important." He had some basic idea of what to say but he's lost all those words now. "Would you mind if I came down to the Freeport to talk instead? I'm not used to having extended conversations over the comms."
"Ehm... no it's fine, I eh... I'll text you my room number I suppose?" She said slowly, slight hesitation in her voice which I could detect.
"Yeah, sure." I kept my arm raised so that I could check my PDA for updates. A small text with her room number and what deck I needed to be on showed up later. "You should have it, you might want to conceal you weapon and maybe get some normal clothes if at all possible, Freeports aren't that fond of military units coming in and being fully equipped.". Her instructions were quite useful.
"Right, I'll be there in...five minutes." I cut the communications link for now and paid my first visit to the room I was assigned on the Eidolon Wrath, I ignored everything about it and walked straight up to the wardrobe, pulling out a formal shirt and a pair of jeans, I changed quickly, laying my combat armor out onto the bed. Just before I could leave my room again I made sure I memorized her room and deck number, making the short trek down to the Freeport thereafter.
Once there, I simply followed the directions I had and came up to the room number she sent me, knocking on the door twice and somewhat firmly.
"Come in." I could hear from behind the door that was unlocked.
I calmly opened the door, taking two steps forward till I was safely in the room before closing it. "I hope I'm not bothering you or anything."
Inge herself was sitting on the bed, her legs straight and her back against a pillow. She just turned off the television and her PDA laying on her lap. "I also hope you ate something...properly this time. It isn't good to not eat for extended periods of time." My concern for her was obvious and I couldn't help but tell her that. I stood a little awkwardly in the middle of the room, my surroundings alien to me for now.
"I've eaten enough, don't worry. Medical environments just make me a bit eh... they make me lose my appetite." She said with a soft smile, looking over me observing what I was wearing.
There was just a simple bed in the middle of the room and a window giving a view of the system. There was also one door that led to the bathroom. She herself was dressed in a long sleeved shirt with a small turtleneck and some simple jeans.
"I agree, it's a little nicer having normal conversations in a more normal and less crowded place..." - "Glad to see you doing better.". I returned her smile after saying that, a small sense of relief and happiness building up for some reason.
"Still not optimal but we're getting there." She replied with a soft smile, her eyes still looking at more than just my face. I wasn't entirely sure why. "So... you are just checking up on me then?" She asked with a slightly raised eyebrow.
"Yeah, I wanted to." It felt like she was looking right through me for some reason. Analysing me for lies, it feels weird being the one under analysis, I guess I was just getting a taste of my own medicine. I did this to people all the time.
"You wanted to?" She asked surprised, her facial features in that moment gave away the fact that she wasn't expecting my answer.
"Yes, I wanted to." I honestly meant that and hoped she wasn't doubting my intentions any further.
"Hm... alright, how come?" She asked in a genuine tone, I could feel her easing up on the suspicions she previously had, I was personally a little relieved.
"Honestly?" I asked.
"Of course." I saw her smirk a little.
"The small conversation we had yesterday was the best conversation I've had since I got my job. I just wanted to see how you were doing and talk to you some more.". I couldn't help but smile at her a little, noting the feeling being similar to one termed as happiness.
"So you don't really get out much then do you?" She asked curiously. There might have been some humor in the fact that I never really did get out much.
"No, not really. I just don't have the time for it." Having said that I immediately noticed a flaw with having phrased it like that, I was silently hoping she wouldn't pick at it.
"And now you do?" She smirked with some disbelief. Unfortunately she did pick at it.
"Well...". I cursed in my head because there was no way to disprove that or argue against it.
"Erh..." I mumbled a few more times after that. "You're enjoying countering my statements, aren't you?" I laughed softly while saying that.
"No, well maybe a little" She said softly. "What do you normally do when you're off duty?"
"I'm off duty right now and I'm spending it with you, that's...it for now, really..." - "I don't really do anything off duty otherwise." I didn't really do anything else and hadn't rehearsed lies for those questions, so I had to be honest or risk looking like a blatant fraud, I didn't want her to think of me like that.
"I meant, before coming here? What did you normally do?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Sleep...eat...?" It sounded pathetic but the truth was exactly that.
"Hm... alright, well the same sort of for me. I just work and sleep, although I do try to sometimes go and visit places." She said a little thoughtful about the subject herself.
"Where do you usually like to go?" I felt more relaxed now, and able to actually have a conversation without the need to contemplate my words over and over.
"Uh... it's been a while since I really went out but I've been to the Sigma's and such, spent time there with a friend." She said a little thoughtful still.
"Sounds nice." I was making an effort at participating in normal conversation. "You look nicer now too, out of the sickly medical bay." I repeated that in my head a few times and it sounded more like an attempt at flattery. It wasn't intentional but I had said it and there was no way to take it back without potentially causing offense, so instead I tried explaining it but just ended up mumbling and not saying anything of real clarity.
She blushed a little and kept a smirk. "Eh... thanks I suppose? There is this space city in the sigma's it's like a artificial planet in space with this massive biodome, probably one of my best times out." She tried to change the subject a little.
I was slightly glad she veered off topic so I didn't have to explain that or make things worse. "Space city? Sounds pretty exotic. Who owns it?" I decided to let the subject change happen and furthered this topic of conversation.
"The GMG does. It's really expensive to stay there though." She said with a small smirk.
We just kept talking after that and even went for a walk together on the observation deck of the Freeport, it was honestly nice and a welcome break to what was otherwise a dull schedule I had. Eventually I had to get back on duty and she needed to go back and rest, but I did want to see her again.
Developments for personal reference:
I probably shouldn't document our whole conversation. It doesn't need to be, but I did enjoy my time with her. Hopefully we'll both be free again so I can see her.
Personal developments:
I experienced nervousness when I was with Inge and she was asking me a few questions, adding another emotion to the developing spectrum.
Hunt had to fix an error with my mental programming, there was some form of a looping error with two traits of my personality that was causing rather violent mental conflicts as my mind tried to tear itself into two personalities, each wanting control. I lashed out during that period, but it being put back into the tube and corrected seems to have fixed it.
Things I need to do or want to do:
Find some proper clothes for going to dinner with Inge on the Freeport, I've observed that people usually dress better than usual on such occasions, probably best if I follow.
I still need to thank Artemis, but I haven't seen her for a while after the small incident in the Medical Bay. I hope she's alright, in either case I should try talking to her and at least thank her.
RE: Son of the Thalatte - Reeves - 06-28-2016
Log : 5
It's been a few days since I actually put together a constructive log, and I know some of the past ones were rather large and documented almost entire conversations. Somehow I just don't feel like that's required anymore, like I can convey what I need to while rambling less and jotting down significant things minus the obvious clutter. I'll start dividing things worth talking about into their own little sections, if I find any particular dialogue from my encounters worth mentioning or even sentimental to me, I'll mention it. I'm trying to maintain a log not write a book. I don't need to waste time and hurt my fingers on putting out so much detail when this is actually just for me, nobody else is ever going to see this...unless I die and hand it out to the public.
I've been working quite closely with Stacker for the past two to three days, helping by escorting him as we transport resources back and forth to aid the fleet's operations financially. It's not very exciting, but it's nice to be useful. On the third day, I think. We talked about where both of us came from, although I had to lie to him about my own origins. He said he was from L.A himself and that most people came to work for Auxesia because they wanted to run from something or because they really had nowhere else to go. In either case, anyone that stayed ultimately look at it as their home.
Veering off topic from the on-duty events, Miri/Inge and I went on a 'date' to Gran Canaria. Planning to spend the day there, I was nervous about it at first, but what happened between us the night before last sort of took the edge off. If we could do....'that'. Then I told myself a day in the sun, swimming, walking on the beach and having dinner together would be easy.
We spent most of the morning and afternoon together in the pool, I do hope the neighbors weren't...watching or have kids, that would be... ill-advised behavior from us then. We spent some time on the beach after that, just walking together. It was nice, I felt content with everything I had, with her. I don't think she realizes how happy she makes me just yet and I'm afraid telling her just how much might put too much pressure on her and scare her away, which is the last thing I want.
She seemed beyond surprised at the sight of me in a suit while we were getting ready for dinner. I guess it was money well spent getting the whole outfit tailored then. She asked if I would be okay heading down to the restaurant myself and giving her twenty minutes to get ready, I obliged happily.
It felt like forever waiting for her, but in a good way. I kept wondering what she would be wearing and was slightly frightened the implications of a date might be too much for her. Every time the doors would open, I would look and hope it was her, I did that an endless number of times. Eventually my mind and heart melted when I saw her walk in, she was nervous, looking for me. I managed to get my legs to move and help me stand up to show her where I was seated so she wouldn't be lost. She braided her hair together into two little tails that connected at the base, hanging at her waist in a pony-tail. She wore a white dress with green highlights and even put on some make-up, I had never seen her like this before and it even seemed like her first time dressing up this much. I was glad she considered me worth all the grandeur though.
Dinner itself felt great, we kept joking and acting like we were both on a blind date together, like this was our first time actually meeting one another. I played along because I honestly found it funny and so did she by the looks of things, it also seemed to take the edge off and make her less nervous. I had to lie to her about my past when the topic came up. Then again saying "I'm a tube grown baby." Doesn't exactly sound like the most appealing of answers to give on your first date. I have a feeling my answer was a little too...elaborate, it made her a little upset and she lost her focus, I was afraid I killed the good mood and did my best to bring it back.
We went back up to our room again after dinner, she seemed a little out of it, probably tired. So I asked if she wanted to indulge in my little plan for the evening, to which she readily accepted. I planned ahead and brought and inflatable mattress with me, all I had to do was take it out onto the humongous balcony and hit the green button, the tiny motor would automatically inflate the entirety of the mattress itself. Two pillows even popped up once it was completely inflated. We lay down there, looking at the stars in each other's arms. After a few moments we started to pick up where we left off in the pool, I don't think...discussing what happens next is appropriate even though I'm the only one that'll ever possibly read these logs. It did eventually translate into the pool though, but back inside ultimately. At one point I could have sworn she blurted out the words "I love you too." While I was citing things I adored about her, I was a little dumbfounded by it all and explained I sort of felt the same way. She seemed put off by the implications of the word though and nearly left had I not persuaded her to stay and not let a few stray words ruin the day we enjoyed together. We managed to put the flustered phrasing error behind us and went to sleep together in each others arms just like we nearly did outside to begin with.
I couldn't help but feel slightly upset having to leave to get back to work in the morning, I could tell she did too. But we had jobs to do and lives to lead, we couldn't just throw everything away on a whim.
Even though we probably wouldn't see each other immediately the moment we got back, because I would be on duty for majority of the day, I still promised to call her once I was off-duty for the evening. And if she was up for it we could probably spend some more time together. I'm still honestly afraid that my impulsive words that night had upset things beyond repair, we were perfectly happy before that and starting to trust each other. In either case she said she would call me once she had some free time herself. I do seem to miss her when we're away like this, but being together 24/7 seems obsessive and she has a life to lead herself, which I more than understand and respect.
Developments for personal reference:
I'm hoping Raven and Hunt don't go through what they did before I left again, it made me really worried to see her lash out like that and point a gun at everyone. I'm just glad the issue resolved itself by them walking away in each other's arms rather than someone being hauled away on a stretcher.
Personal developments:
I experienced something different that night with Inge, I'm not sure what to call that emotion and it doesn't really have a set definition as far as I can tell, everyone seems to have their own view of it, so I'll consider my emotional spectrum widened despite not quite knowing what it is.
I feel like I should get to know all the people around me better, or at least try. It would be nice to have friends if I needed people to talk to. I guess I'll just start working on this with my actual siblings first, they'd probably understand me and my nuances better than anyone else could.
Things I need to do or want to do:
I should probably plan up a more extravagant second date for us, if there ever is one. I still haven't exactly decided on destination or the itinerary, but I plan to make it different from our first. As much as it possibly can be at least. Hunt told me Inge really liked the view from the safe-house on Honshu, so maybe I'll try asking her to go there with me, or just go to a place that feels less Auxesian like Baden Baden. I find that name humorous.
I still really really REALLY need to thank Artemis, but I haven't seen her for a while after the small incident in the Medical Bay. I hope she's alright.
RE: Son of the Thalatte - Reeves - 07-09-2016
Log : 6
I'm way too tired right now and can't really come up with the words I usually come up with to put into logs. I'll probably just attach a log to this file of the operation that took place today and be done with it. Only a personal collection of thoughts anyways, not like anyone will ever read this except me.
![[+]](/forums/images/collapse_collapsed.png "[+]")
Audio-Visual RecordingDevelopments for personal reference:
Nesrin, or as I like to call her 'Nessa.' Seems like quite the character, I should probably get to know her better and help her get back in touch with her family. Hopefully that won't come across as intrusive though.
Personal developments:
Nesrin / Nessa saved my life twice today. She's among one of the first few friends I've made despite the fact she's mostly a machine. yet somehow that doesn't seem odd in the slightest. I'm just happy to understand the people around me better and bond with them, making me feel like a part of something rather than just a very lethal tool.
Things I need to do or want to do:
I'm not sure whether I should tell Inge about what happened on Cambridge or not, it'll only upset her. Being honest is my preferred way of handling things, but it just feels selfish if it ends up hurting her just so my conscience can benefit from it. Is a white lie really bad?
I still need to thank Artemis, but I haven't seen her for a while after the small incident in the Medical Bay. I hope she's alright.
RE: Son of the Thalatte - Reeves - 07-13-2016
Log : 7
I had everything I wanted. I had her. I had people to call my family who loved me, in a way I was certain she did too, I let that Godforsaken cancerous word bubble through my mind and make me do something incredibly stupid.
I thought that by bringing up the concept of me seeing other people, the sudden spike in jealousy would actually make Inge realize what she wanted, which was me to be with her and nobody else.
She said what I knew she would say, that she didn't mind if I tried to see other people because we weren't in a relationship. I thought she would take it back if I took it a step further - actually no, I don't know what I was thinking.
Part of me thinks that maybe it's for the best, maybe she'll find someone that'll make her perfectly happy. Even though that'll hurt that's all I've really wanted for her to have, happiness. Why in God's name did I have to keep pushing when I swore not to? I've ruined things, there's no fixing it now.
Nesrin responded a lot more optimistically than even my most positive scenario could account for. The three words I wanted to hear from Inge over the past month just flew out of her mouth, it might seem odd but despite my desperation, I didn't say it back. I don't know if I can.
It's funny... Inge wouldn't dive into things because she didn't want to hurt me and make me feel like a "lost, wandering little penguin." But it honestly looked like I've gone and done it to myself anyways.
I believe in second chances, but I highly doubt a third being among the cards, and if I'm honest with myself I don't deserve another. I had my chance, I made a foolish choice. Maybe a lifetime of atonement for it'll teach me not to push when I know the other person has issues with certain things.
I can't focus enough to write about anything else, so I'll try to put down things that are fresh on my mind. There's two new people on the ship now, or rather "new but also old" people. One of them is called Foulke and the other Miranda apparently. I don't really know much about either of them except that Foulke used to work for the LSF. He's got a slightly 'crude' sense of humor but seems like a decent person nonetheless. I don't know anything about Miranda to make observations yet, we've only ever interacted up to the point of a formal "Hello."
Raven and my sister Aria are apparently going away for about a year, cited as maternity leave. I know the Honshu safe-house is secure but I still worry just a little, I guess that's because I do see them as my family now despite being the product of a bunch of fluids and an egg thrown into a tube.
I know she'll never want to see me again but I dropped off the future presents I planned to give Inge, I kept telling myself that one day things would work out and I wanted to be ready for when it did. I never considered the possibility that I'd be that fantasy's own undoing.
Developments for personal reference:
I don't know what I'm supposed to put here for once, there goes being productive. I have had the vague suspicion that people have been reading these logs somehow, it seems nearly impossible to bypass the encryption and security of the terminal I'm using, must be impressive tech if someone truly has been eavesdropping.
Personal developments:
My emotional spectrum is honestly complete, I've gone...further than most of the other Davara have in that regard yet I feel slightly lost and like a complete and utter mess.
Things I need to do or want to do:
As cliche as the books seem to think it is, I wish I could snap my fingers and have time rewound. I don't think that's a luxury I deserve to be completely fair, but I seem to be more Human than I'd like to think I am at this point.