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+-- Forum: Discovery General (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=3)
+--- Forum: Discovery RP 24/7 General Discussions (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=23)
+--- Thread: Feedback wanted (/showthread.php?tid=18712)
Feedback wanted - rayne - 04-01-2009
Well I am pretty new here compared with some of you guys here, so I would like some feed back on Rommies Tales and her bio... Just to see if Im doing things that are a half decent read.
http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=34737 <-- her story
http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=34614 <-- her bio
Feedback wanted - Xing - 04-01-2009
I've been reading a couple of these for a while. I like the development of the character specific to server events, but I believe you can develop a bit more upon your character. Right now, it is only a recounting of what hapenned, without much emotion, as in a mission report. How about adding a bit more depth, seeing what the character think - including, outside server events for instance.
Feedback wanted - rayne - 04-01-2009
Yea I know what you mean, this is my first proper attempt at role play so, Im just finding my feet, I will be building on it more as the character develops, I have also made a new story in the watering holes... Rochester Inn.
Feedback wanted - rayne - 04-01-2009
Ive made an addition, its turning away from a log type story, there will still be stuff that happens on the server but I want to develop Rommie a bit more.
EDIT: Is the title catchy enough? Im welcome to suggestions.
Feedback wanted - Xing - 04-01-2009
=P Title will be catchy for those who will have seen or interacted with you in game, otherwise, it will probably get only a quick glance.
Feedback wanted - rayne - 04-01-2009
Thanks, just hoping the turn the story has made is any good
Feedback wanted - johnpeter - 04-01-2009
Maybe the title could be
Rommie's tale: the life of a Hacker?
Noone calls them Lane Hackers.
The story is decent though, much better than mine.
Feedback wanted - rayne - 04-01-2009
I used to write short stories when I was a kid so, I got a decent imagination hehe