Discovery Gaming Community
Osiris Imperium and the Osiris Class A.K.A. Kay'a - Printable Version

+- Discovery Gaming Community (https://discoverygc.com/forums)
+-- Forum: Role-Playing (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Forum: Stories and Biographies (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=56)
+---- Forum: RP Stories Feedback Forum (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=29)
+---- Thread: Osiris Imperium and the Osiris Class A.K.A. Kay'a (/showthread.php?tid=33684)



Osiris Imperium and the Osiris Class A.K.A. Kay'a - Colonel Z.e.r.o. - 01-26-2010

http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?showtopic=58667

Here I tried to give a little back story about a nation that exist in my story, It's also the nation in which lenox Casper (not his FL equivalent) originates from.

Please tell me how you feel and what changes could be made.

Another not when I finish this draft the title will begin to make sense, but no, it has nothing to do with the order.


Osiris Imperium and the Osiris Class A.K.A. Kay'a - Colonel Z.e.r.o. - 01-28-2010

Any suggestions?


Osiris Imperium and the Osiris Class A.K.A. Kay'a - Colonel Z.e.r.o. - 01-30-2010

Added on another segment. I'll probably give me insight in the desperation chapter (like a scenario that led up to that event.)



Osiris Imperium and the Osiris Class A.K.A. Kay'a - Colonel Z.e.r.o. - 02-09-2010

OK guy it's very messy and a little muddled but this is ultimately the beginning and the role this nation plays in my story, please feel free to post any and all comments relating to it. Any suggestions that would would help me improve it will be greatly appreciated.


Osiris Imperium and the Osiris Class A.K.A. Kay'a - Colonel Z.e.r.o. - 05-02-2010

no feed back?