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Marvin J. Orphelia - Printable Version +- Discovery Gaming Community (https://discoverygc.com/forums) +-- Forum: Role-Playing (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=9) +--- Forum: Stories and Biographies (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=56) +---- Forum: RP Stories Feedback Forum (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=29) +---- Thread: Marvin J. Orphelia (/showthread.php?tid=38718) |
Marvin J. Orphelia - Camtheman Of Freelancer4Ever - 04-21-2010 Its lengthy. My most cherished RP by far. I recently added a new chapter called "Innocence Of Evil" Read up. Its quite interesting, athought please forgive the first post. It's a bit old and the wording... is kinda, you know, funny. http://discoverygc.com/forums/index.php?sh...pid=984176& Tell me how you like it. Marvin J. Orphelia - Virus - 04-22-2010 GOODNESS GRACIOUS, I DIDN'T EVEN REALIZE YOU COULD WRITE. Also, you're signature bragging is getting boring. And you're breaking the rules with every one of those characters. xD I'll give it a read. Marvin J. Orphelia - Dab - 04-22-2010 I skimmed the first paragraph and already ran straight into two glaring contradictions in lore. First; Corinth and Sparta were not built in 795 A.S. They were built around 802-803 A.S. Second; Addicted to Liquid Cardamine that, lore-wise, hasn't been made into a form that can be used on humans without killing them. Treewyrm can go into more detail on that, but it's just being researched, and currently used on two test subjects. Not to mention, Liquid Cardamine, even the version that doesn't work for humans is extremely rare, even in the Outcasts, who are the only ones with any real access to it. The version that does work for humans isn't only rare.. But has only one source; Doc Jameson, and he doesn't give them beyond his two test subjects. So your character can't be using Liquid Cardi, unless he was dead from using the Nomad form. I'll continue reading. EDIT: Oh, and being a target for loansharks because of that addiction doesn't make sense either.. Considering you can't buy Liquid Cardi at all. Oh yeah, don't remember if I ever told you.. Wait, I did.. The Zoners don't have 'commodores'.. Or even a military really... Marvin J. Orphelia - Camtheman Of Freelancer4Ever - 04-22-2010 Quote:First; Corinth and Sparta were not built in 795 A.S. They were built around 802-803 A.S. Bah, that's a minor overlook. Dates were never good with me. Quote: Addicted to Liquid Cardamine that, lore-wise, hasn't been made into a form that can be used on humans without killing them. Marvin is only half human, technically. :lol: Quote:Oh, and being a target for loansharks because of that addiction doesn't make sense either.. Uh... Who was the loanshark? Quote:Oh yeah, don't remember if I ever told you.. Wait, I did.. <strike>The</strike> My Zoners don't have 'commodores'.. Or even a military really... Marvin J. Orphelia - kuth - 04-22-2010 Cam, honestly, its a good read in regards to being fiction. As far as being an RP story for this server? It fails fairly hard. You make Marvin out as some god in human/cyborg form. You didn't do your research into Zoner lore, so there are a ton of flaws in that. He was flash cloned? Hidden on a station that hadn't been built? Commander of a Zoner war fleet that didn't exist and still doesn't? Owner of a Battlestar or two or three? Commised an entire war fleet to be built in around 19 years? Without any other Zoner noticing or having a say in it? Lividia following your orders? You being in command of a Zoner war fleet? Conducting war games in a bio-dome? Marvin having limitless funds and resources to build ships. Addicted to liquid Cardi from Malta? Having trained soldiers that are superior to any in the sector? Invasion plans? Invasion with a non existent force? It was entertaining to read, but no where near believable or even remotely possible as the RP of a character on this server. For more than one reason. Marvin J. Orphelia - Camtheman Of Freelancer4Ever - 04-22-2010 Quote:He was flash cloned? Hidden technology. Like alaska. Quote: Hidden on a station that hadn't been built? That's what they want you to believe... Secret, much? Quote:Owner of a Battlestar or two or three? Single battlestar, single juggernaut, single aqulion. Never again aqulion. Ever. Again Quote: Commised an entire war fleet to be built in around 19 years? What war fleet? Marvin had one ship. Then it was crashed into that planet near Livadia because of its secrets. Quote:Conducting war games in a bio-dome? That has some merit, I have to add background on that. Synth Biodomes are too expensive for Marvin. The only thing Marvin spends a lot of money is pimping out his ship and drugs. The big center one was hollowed out and made into a big training facillity. Quote:Lividia following your orders?Its a commission. Marvin bribed them. Quote:You being in command of a Zoner war fleet?There IS no war fleet. Its just Marvin. And a few hundred soldiers to protect his glorious hide, lol. Quote:Addicted to liquid Cardi from Malta?Yeah. I can get it in game right? Besides, the lore... Its not even on the infocard... Quote:Having trained soldiers that are superior to any in the sector? Never said that. They're slightly worse or just as good as a Millitaries soldiers. Quote:Invasion plans? Invasion with a non existent force? A bit ago, Marvin threatened to bomb the Hessian's planet Tangier because the Smokeones threatened Zoners out of nowhere. Nukes in Marvin's basement + Tagier =... Good RP. Fun RP. Marvin J. Orphelia - Dab - 04-22-2010 ' Wrote:Hidden technology. Like alaska.Alaska exists. ' Wrote:That's what they want you to believe... Secret, much?Well I'm "they" since I.. Ya know.. Built it. And wrote the infocards. And in-RP, it was my character that funded the construction. And.. They weren't built yet. ' Wrote:Single battlestar, single juggernaut, single aqulion. Never again aqulion.Single Bret BS, single Ku BS, 13487751345 Rheinland BSs, 31114 Lib Dreads. ' Wrote:What war fleet? Marvin had one ship. Then it was crashed into that planet near Livadia because of its secrets.For growing up in Omicron-74, you sure forgot Tirane was a gas giant pretty quick. Kind of hard to crash into.. Gas. ' Wrote:The big center one was hollowed out and made into a big training facillity.You mean.. The biodome? I hope your soldiers don't miss their targets and hit the glass paneling keeping the biodome separate from space. Godly aim and all that. ' Wrote:Its a commission. Marvin bribed them.Lets see.. List of owners Livadia has had throughout its existence; 1.) Aurelia DeFrance (Silvan) 2.) Zoner Trade Consortium I don't think either would be accepting your bribes.. ' Wrote:There IS no war fleet. Its just Marvin.And his plethora of spec-ops, military-trained supersoldiers picked from that non-existant Zoner army. ' Wrote:Yeah. I can get it in game right? Besides, the lore... Its not even on the infocard...I can get a Nomad Powercore in-game too.. On my Junker CSV. I know. I did it. Then used it to power my Junker battleship. That's the funny thing about these infocards.. They don't hand you the whole story! Discover(y) it on your own and all that. Stupid idea, I know! God forbid we have to do some research. ' Wrote:A bit ago, Marvin threatened to bomb the Hessian's planet Tangier because the Smokeones threatened Zoners out of nowhere. Nukes in Marvin's basement + Tagier =... Good RP. Fun RP.You mean meta/powergaming that I'll end up having to step my moderator-foot on? No blowing up Tagier, mkay? That big Juggernaut's a bit conspicuous by the way. Like a flying colony that can be seen from a really large distance................................................ Marvin J. Orphelia - Camtheman Of Freelancer4Ever - 04-22-2010 Quote: Zoner Trade Consortium Greedy businessmen. Sure they will. Quote:Alaska exists. So does the 3 lost battlestars in A1 of New york everyone is talking about. Quote:31114 Lib Dreads.Not yet. That's Phase II. Quote:Kind of hard to crash into.. Gas. Tell that to Shoemaker-Levy 9. Quote:I hope your soldiers don't miss their targets and hit the glass paneling keeping the biodome separate from space. Godly aim and all that. Damn, Your good at finding "flaws" in RP. Perhaps steel undercoat? Quote:And his plethora of spec-ops, military-trained supersoldiers picked from that non-existant Zoner army. Picked by the very real hundreds of thousands of Mercenaries by Drill Seargent Jeffery Peters, on random Freeports. Its not a plethora. Its a Menageri. (Fail spelling nazi) :P:lol: Quote:God forbid we have to do some research. I dont believe in god. :crazy: Quote:You mean meta/powergaming that I'll end up having to step my moderator-foot on? Dont you worry your little power-monger head Dab, Im not. Just wait. It'll be a bit schorched but Marvin will be in a LOT of trouble he might just not get out of. ......pictures 263 RH Cruisers chasing Infinite Rage.................. Marvin J. Orphelia - kuth - 04-22-2010 ' Wrote:Greedy businessmen. Sure they will. You know, you actually have to ask them. You can't say they will. Also, they aren't greedy businessmen. If you are looking for a greedy businessmen, you are look at the wrong faction. OSI is led by a very greedy family. At least for now that is. I'll commit more later, but honestly Cam, this back story fails hard and it won't hold up if you try to RP it in game. At all. Marvin J. Orphelia - Camtheman Of Freelancer4Ever - 04-22-2010 Meh, It worked so far in game... 850 hours last time I checked:) Quote:You know, you actually have to ask them. You can't say they will. Well, I'd rather not have some faction saying "LOL NO!" (no offense to the consortium, love ya'll, You give Marvin someone to talk to when he's bored roaming Om-74) Quote:If you are looking for a greedy businessmen, you are look at the wrong faction. OSI doesnt own Livadia... Sadly. RPing w/ you would be fun I bet. |