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+--- Thread: Nephilim (/showthread.php?tid=38723)
Nephilim - Daerune - 04-22-2010
[color=#000000][font=Arial]<span style="font-size:18pt;line-height:100%]Personal Data Storage Device
Entry: 01
Sitting in the Alcatraz bases bar is where I am right now just sorting out my weapons, eight daggers, two swords, two pistols. Nothing really to heavy just lightly armoured, normally I would have my rifle with me and maybe my sniper though I hardly use it, up close with the blades just seems a bit more thrilling to me now, I've noticed some changes since enlightenment things I hate I still hate but enjoy.
Sadistic
I use to be merciful and never had to act on and sadistic intents such as when seeing a fight I tend to get to far into the feeling and I struggle to keep myself back, now I seem to 'enjoy' the feeling when watching almost giving no second thought to just jumping into one against enemies, like I can't help myself not to kill them, not to make them suffer, not to watch their ships explode and watch their dead body float in space. I have a conflict of feelings I both hate it the old me is still somewhere, but the new one the more donating one is the one enjoying it, I won't but he will.
Restraining
I can only just restrain myself against my 'old' friends they I can resist not to harm up to a point like Lafiel Tarrant, Mr & Mrs Holliday, Christina Robinson and Angie. They are only of the very few who I can resist hurting other then that I can't except for my sister nothing will ever change that, not even the masters their selves can make hurt her no matter what they put me through its probably why they leave her be, other than the bargain..... I serve in return for her safety.
Serving
For now I will serve their purpose, I will heed their words and commands for now but I will not let them take me fully I will resist and I will have my freedom back, It may take decades it may take for the rest of my life but I will die a free man I will die in my own ship not theirs. They don't know I keep the thing that symbolise me the most that keep me from slipping all the way for the one that symbolizes me the old Chris is the one thing they used to bargain with, fools. I will be myself again and I will restore myself without them knowing what I really am.
[color=#ffcc00]I shell never surrdener; I will never serve; I will wait; I will do; I will wait for my time.
First Order of business is to find out my relationship status.
Log end
Entry: 01
Sitting in the Alcatraz bases bar is where I am right now just sorting out my weapons, eight daggers, two swords, two pistols. Nothing really to heavy just lightly armoured, normally I would have my rifle with me and maybe my sniper though I hardly use it, up close with the blades just seems a bit more thrilling to me now, I've noticed some changes since enlightenment things I hate I still hate but enjoy.
Sadistic
I use to be merciful and never had to act on and sadistic intents such as when seeing a fight I tend to get to far into the feeling and I struggle to keep myself back, now I seem to 'enjoy' the feeling when watching almost giving no second thought to just jumping into one against enemies, like I can't help myself not to kill them, not to make them suffer, not to watch their ships explode and watch their dead body float in space. I have a conflict of feelings I both hate it the old me is still somewhere, but the new one the more donating one is the one enjoying it, I won't but he will.
Restraining
I can only just restrain myself against my 'old' friends they I can resist not to harm up to a point like Lafiel Tarrant, Mr & Mrs Holliday, Christina Robinson and Angie. They are only of the very few who I can resist hurting other then that I can't except for my sister nothing will ever change that, not even the masters their selves can make hurt her no matter what they put me through its probably why they leave her be, other than the bargain..... I serve in return for her safety.
Serving
For now I will serve their purpose, I will heed their words and commands for now but I will not let them take me fully I will resist and I will have my freedom back, It may take decades it may take for the rest of my life but I will die a free man I will die in my own ship not theirs. They don't know I keep the thing that symbolise me the most that keep me from slipping all the way for the one that symbolizes me the old Chris is the one thing they used to bargain with, fools. I will be myself again and I will restore myself without them knowing what I really am.
[color=#ffcc00]I shell never surrdener; I will never serve; I will wait; I will do; I will wait for my time.
First Order of business is to find out my relationship status.
Log end
Nephilim - Daerune - 04-23-2010
He had been sitting at Ainu deport for what seemed like days and that he did not mind one bit for him it meant that he didn't need to kill for them and that he could at least regain some of his self for a short while, he sat cross legged on the ground with his hands on his knees looking into nothing but dark space, tapping his finger slightly against his knees pacing it with his heart and trying to keep his head clear as his thoughts weakened and the feelings of his old self came over and he was for that moment him, the one with a code of conduct. As the feeling continued he would refine the tapping to be in perfect synch with his heart as things started to life and visions raced forward from the confined room to the rooms of the station passing through metal and all manner of things before coming to the darkness of space.
It wasn't long until the 'visions' reached Bretonia looking at the human influence and it seemed that even space humans could ruin and pollute, with their growth even they had started to choke and kill space just like the planets at which were slowly dying due to their interference, just as a flash they progressed onto liberty where 'civilization' was most corrupt, A republic that will always be corrupted by the Illusion of power and greed, then towards Kusari it went showing the corrupt empire, the man who sat on the blood throne who betrayed the ruler for whatever reason and accepted the Hogosha forces as legal pirates which took from 'gijian' transports for their own greed, everything run by greed and the illusion of power the illusion that what they say is how things are and that they have control over there 'lesser' but it is only a question of when, for nothing stands for ever and everything dies no matter how strong one may build it nothing defeats time, it is the great destroyer the great ender the murderer who will claim life its self who claims even suns for everything has its time.
sighing he would be brought back from his mind and now hours had passed since he had started his little 'thinking' process his relaxation his strategy techniques. [color=#330099]`Never been to Rheinland..... why have I never been there.` This thought seemed to rush through his mind and he was so close the one space he had never ventured the one house that he touched, today he would move to Rheinland and he would 'check' it out find out things, find out about everything even if he had to take down a Rheinland agent to get the information he wanted.
It wasn't long until the 'visions' reached Bretonia looking at the human influence and it seemed that even space humans could ruin and pollute, with their growth even they had started to choke and kill space just like the planets at which were slowly dying due to their interference, just as a flash they progressed onto liberty where 'civilization' was most corrupt, A republic that will always be corrupted by the Illusion of power and greed, then towards Kusari it went showing the corrupt empire, the man who sat on the blood throne who betrayed the ruler for whatever reason and accepted the Hogosha forces as legal pirates which took from 'gijian' transports for their own greed, everything run by greed and the illusion of power the illusion that what they say is how things are and that they have control over there 'lesser' but it is only a question of when, for nothing stands for ever and everything dies no matter how strong one may build it nothing defeats time, it is the great destroyer the great ender the murderer who will claim life its self who claims even suns for everything has its time.
sighing he would be brought back from his mind and now hours had passed since he had started his little 'thinking' process his relaxation his strategy techniques. [color=#330099]`Never been to Rheinland..... why have I never been there.` This thought seemed to rush through his mind and he was so close the one space he had never ventured the one house that he touched, today he would move to Rheinland and he would 'check' it out find out things, find out about everything even if he had to take down a Rheinland agent to get the information he wanted.