+- Discovery Gaming Community (https://discoverygc.com/forums)
+-- Forum: Role-Playing (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=9)
+--- Forum: Stories and Biographies (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=56)
+---- Forum: RP Stories Feedback Forum (https://discoverygc.com/forums/forumdisplay.php?fid=29)
+---- Thread: Need Feedback please (/showthread.php?tid=40594)
Need Feedback please - Chenzo- - 05-25-2010
well, i have two stories currently on the forum, and i have many more to upload, i will be posting link's to them in here as time goes on.. i'd like to know what everyone think's.. Honestly any feedback i get will shape my future stories..
The current two stories i have, One of which isant finished yet are linked in my Signature. Any feedback as long as you are not damn-right rude is welcome. Many thanks
Need Feedback please - Laowai - 05-25-2010
Ive read though most of the Dark Tales one.
Its not bad, are you deliberatly leaving the who and what Subject Zero is vague?
The idea behind the story is fine - my only criticisms would be of the sentence structure and spelling... the sentences dont "flow"...
What I mean this this.
Sentences that stand alone in this manner.
These can be very good for some situations, however not always;
It could be just me, but I personally find that really hard to read and to get a sense of a story thats flowing nicely. Anyway, ill read some more later - Keep it up..!
Need Feedback please - Chenzo- - 05-28-2010
the story deleberatly focuses on him just becoming a phantom, his name to be "revealed" at a later date.
That meaning when the RP develops on the forum and in-game, I can easily make it all more worth while, if you get me.
Reguardless, thanks for the feedback.
PS: My spelling is simply horrible, Sorry.