Quote:I woke up in a valley of a grassy world. All around me there were ropes with clothes hanging. Some were white, some where red, and some were made of pure gold. A furry rhinoceros (I knew it was one because I remember the old volumes on Earthly wildlife I once found at Sol) approached me. The fact that he was not wearing any clothes offended me in some way, so I did not fully trus him. He told me that I should leave the place immediately or something irreversible would happen. I liked the idea, and I didn't like the rhinoceros, so I asked him to go to the nearest corner to see if it had started to rain.

After he left me alone, I took off my own clothes and burned them in a little campfire that someone lit at some point. But I was alone, oddly. I started looking at the stars trying to understand where that world was, but they were all strange to me. It was after a while that the old lady arrived.

She was dressed in rags and carried a bag hanging from a wooden stick. She didn't say a word for a while. All she did was take the stick, then grab an apple from her bag, and pinch it on the stick. Then she would repeat the process, until no apples were left. After that, she put them over the fire for some minutes, and then offered one to me saying, would you like a Vivid Apple? I was confused, but I accepted the apple. It tasted like hot dogs (without the bun thingie), and that made me suspicious already, but by the time I had finished eating it, the true identity of that woman suddenly beame clear.

She was not more that ragged bum lady, but the omnipotent and omnipresent entity I had come to know long ago, and now worshipped, Eris, Goddess of Discord, Queen of Baffin, Keeper of the Sacred Chao. The aura that She irradiated was really powerful and the golden glow didn't allow me to focus on anything but her and what she started saying.

Behold! Ye ole Mojo! I know I always harrass you and command fool errands and trust you dangerous secrets! But oh little old fart, let me once again put a cosmological burden on that slacky back of yours! May your bag be always full of apples...

I am sure you have already noticed the chaos that runs through the Temporary Autonomous Zoners structure. The cause of this is needless to say, but the way to fix it is something that concerns us, and a lot. As you know, I announced, by telling Mal last year, that an Era had ended and we had to be prepared for Verwirrung. You must remember that fancy festival you all held at Baffin.

Well, there was one thing that the old man forgot to tell you bunch. There is a prophecy, made by a mad popess whose lover was beaheaded in front of her, which announces that Discordianism would face a difficult time around Verwirrung. She claimed that there were forces operating to dismantle what we had been building, and that we had to seek the protection of the Gi-Gi. At that time even I thought that she was mad, but after checking my calendar of prophecies I saw that she was right. What I didn't understand at that time was that Gi-Gi, as she said, really meant Golden Girl, the destiny child. This girl is to be found Mojo! I've been dedicating all my Godly power to scry the whereabouts of this child, who was born 13 years ago already. So far, I can tell you she lives among the Zoner community in Pennsylvania.

Please, do not fail on this or we will be all doomed sooner or later. We will, inevitably, eventually, but by doing this you can delay utter destruction of the Multiverse by saving the Keepers of the Chao, the Temporary Autonomous Zoners.

And after saying that she knocked me in the head with that stick, that felt more like a battle club, and I awoke to my chamber in Pueblo Bonito.