Feedback on Romeo and Randall Darkbeat's Story Thread

[romeodarkbeat]

Hi everyone.

http://discoverygc.com/forums/showthread.php?tid=183632

Romeo Darkbeat is a Navy Pilot flying with the 46th after a few years settled in Hattan. He and his twin brother Randall were a two-man trading enterprise where Ran basically... ran the math and intel on the best deals and Rom made sure they finished the trips in one piece...

Both are my character in Freelancer. Romeo is pretty easy to find since his callsing right now is his name: 46th|Romeo.Darkbeat (he hates the nickname "Tilt" his uncle Jocko gave him after some jiu jutsu training where he choked)

Randall operates the [*USI*]BocaRaton, something he kinda blames Romeo for it. Ran kind of despises House bureaucracy and prefered to stay independent with Romeo.

I tried to emulate a personal journal and message app that anyone in Sirius would have, with codes, protocols and platitudes of a naval pilot. I really like stories that are told as personal messages sent between people that care for each other, as those have more emotional layers and less "did this, done that, much explosions, such epic". Romeo loves his brother, his parents and Liberty. Randall is more practical, stoic even, and looks just some cockpit skills away from a corsair to most people, but in the end he's loyal and wants to care for his "little" brother that escorted him for so many trade runs when they were young.

I'm still developing both stories, as well as their interactions with their uncle Jocko and a few other character, both by other players aswell as people who won't make an appearance in game, like Rom's wife and son.

So yeah, any feedback is welcome.

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