// This is set in 870A.S. Bring your characters here as seniles and have some fun. Make them as comical as possible.
It was soup day. Adam Patterson's favourite day at Sunset Seniors Home. The flavour of the soup however was always up for question. Sometimes, tuna. Adam liked tuna, from what he could still remember. He could hardly taste the soup itself though, but the thought of eating something he believed he enjoyed was a day brightener by itself.
It was a bright and vibrant morning at Sunset Seniors Home. What a depressing name, Adam thought. He'd expressed this thought to some of the other seniors, but much to his dismay he'd been told that he had made the same joke the other day. That had lasted for a few years, before enough memory cells had finally caught on to devote it to his long-term memory. But still, the joke always gave him a chuckle.
Oh. There went his bladder again. First it was very inflamed, and now he couldn't even control it. Fortunately he'd been wearing absorbent pants, and in a few seconds the sensation had disappeared. If he'd been stood up though, it may have leaked onto the floor. However, he'd been sat in his favourite armchair. An armchair which he'd called Henderson. Made him feel just a bit better when he sat on it; he was in control, and always on top. IMG bastard, Adam thought. I wonder if he's still alive.
'OUT OF MY WAY!' Walter Layton's wheelchair went careening through a group of people who had gathered to watch a chess game. His competitor, Steven Fry, was gaining fast and he didn't like losing. The wheels on Walter's wheelchair were burning rubber fast, leaving marks on the carpet.
He didn't care. This time he would win, and this time he'd be the first to get his soup. He'd heard that it was going to be chicken today. He could hear Fry's panting now as he propelled himself forward to catch up. Walter needed to think fast.
Ah ha! There, another senior, standing right in the way. He swerved to pass her, but as he did he stuck his leg out and tripped her up. She collapsed right in Fry's path, and to avoid hitting her he came to a dead stop.
'Ha ha!' Walter called behind him. 'Eat my dust, dust eater!'
Alexis Hunter moved her old Admiral bars in her hand. Been awhile since she was on a ship.
She sighed at Walter and,Steven's race. Carefully getting up, she set the picture of a cluster of teens, each smiling at the camera. Alexis hobbled to a table, where a nurse put her soup. Alexis tapped the board and moved a pawn foreward.
A,pawn moved forward.
"Never late Jacob."
A boy sat down across from her.
"As always Grandma."
"Yes, yes..." Alexis moved a pawn. "How is your Great-Aunt?"
"Still hanging on the Oathkeeper."
Alexis nodded and moved a knight. "Your father?"
"His funeral ended an hour ago."
"Soren was,a fine man." Alexis took a pawn. Smiling, she rubbed saliva on it, aim, and threw.
It bounced off the TV, rolled off the fan, hit a nurses hat into a bowl of soup, and landed in Walter's newly gained bowl of soup.
"That, young man, is with no abilities."
Jacob moved a rook. "Grandma, how are you so awesome?"
"Because I am!" Alexis took another pawn and fired, finally hitting,Steven in the head. "They need to stop racing before I grab the rolling pin!"
Olivia Dunham was old. Very old. Her blonde hair has turned gray. Her beautiful face has turned into.. Ugly face? Nah, that's not a good enough description. She used to think about this every day.
"What happened to me..?" she would mumble.
As she finished her conversation with Dietrich Vogel, she turned around, and saw Walter Layton speeding in his wheelchair.
"Wait.. Soup already?!" She thought.
She quickly grabbed her stick and hit Vogel in the knees. Vogel automatically collapsed and blocked the path for Layton. She then rushed to her wheelchair.
Awesome sigz by Cabulb
[20:44] Avalanche (Greg/Pharos): Yeah, I ****ing know serbian.
[20:45] Domjan1911: YUGOSLAVIAN YUGOSLAVIAN!
Zack Leroy looks at the mirror in his room. After looking for fifteen minutes he turned to the window. "Nice spring out there..." he thought. Big and heavy December snowflakes were falling on the cold winter ground outside.
Zack began to stare at mirror again. He remember his young days: parties, women, freedom... after a nice dreams of his past he sighted.
"Ahh... crap!" He told loudly. Zack opened his drawer and took oldie pistol from it. Suddenly, he put it into his temple and yelling "IT SUCKS TO BE OLD!" he pushed the trigger. However, there was no shot.
Nurse came to room and saw Zack sitting on the chair with "pistol" in his hand. She came slowly and took it gently from old man's hands, then she smiled at him. "You can't shoot yourself with door handle, Mr Leroy" told she before leaving the room. Zack followed young nurse with his eyes. After she gone behind the doors he turned back to mirror and began starring again.
Unlike Fry, Walter didn't care if he ran over anybody. As he crushed Vogel he received a satisfactory crunch as bone broke, and then a jump as the man's body served as a ramp. Walter looked back at Olivia, winked, then carried on speeding through the halls toward the canteen.
He slammed into one of the tables, taking the breath out of his lungs. 'Nurse,' he managed to wheeze, 'soup please.' A nearby nurse heard his plea and rushed to the kitchen. He knew better than to keep Walter waiting. A few seconds later he came back out holding a tray with a bowl of steaming soup, and another one full of pills. The nurse set the tray down in front of Walter on the table and turned to walk away when something bounced off his head and landed in Walter's soup. The nurse didn't seem to notice, and walked away.
Like a curious child, Walter examined his soup. He dipped his spoon inside and fished out the object. It was a chess pawn. Probably from one of the people he knocked over while he was racing, he thought. He looked around the canteen, and saw a child with his grandmother playing chess.
He deposited the pawn on the table, shrugged, and began to eat his soup. He'd get the Admiral back later. After all, he had plenty of time.
"So, I had Marcus take the Thalia,Grace into the Detroit debris fielx. We arrived at the scene to see a Red Hessian Cruiser. We olened fire, but it ran." Alexis took another pawn."
"Will that guy get basck at you?"
"He'll try, but i've had the,advantage of my past."
"Which is?"
"Pole dancing on Freeport One."
Jacob chuckled. Alexis took the pawn, wrote a,note, and sent it on its way.
After bouncing off a nurse, two canes, and a pair of dentures, it landed rightside up next to Walter's soup.
Message read, I know you plan to get back at me somehow,Walter. I didn't make Admiral without expecting much.
Walter read the note and grinned, which looked like a leather carpet being crumpled. He looked over to the Admiral, and held up the pawn. He called over to her. 'I'll enjoy it even more then.' He put it in his mouth, sucked on it, then removed it and stood it up next to his soup like a sentry. He blew her a kiss and gave her a wave.
Jacob sighed. "He can wish."
Alexis laughed. "Yes, he can. Dont worry, I can deal with an old-senile wheelchairracer."
She took his knight with her queen. He ignored the aueen and checked the king.
"What will you do?"
Alexis smiled a bit evilly. "These Admiral's bars are not just for show. Uike those wheels that Walter uses.
She took his queen.
The next turn his bishop check-mated her.
"Very good. The Queen's sacrifice."
Jacob smiled. "Can't we make a senile daredevil sacrifice?"
Ian raced down the hallway, the appearance of his leathery face matched only by his tunic, making loud "whomp" noises as he went past.
It is a well-known fact that the only way for a ninety-year old man to make a satisfactory "whomp" is by smacking orderlys upside the head with an old broom.
He shouted and laughed with manaical glee, his words slightly slurred, accent changing with each new sentence. "Die Hessians! Die Hessians! Ze are comink!"
He turned the corner and bowled into a nurse, tangling himself in a pile.
The nurse was experience at this sort of thing and quickly caught up Ian's arms. "Hello Mr. Holmes, who are we fighting today?" "Ze Hessians! Ze are going to invade Crete and STEAL ALL ZE TEQUILA AND RUM!" "Mr. Holmes, were'nt you just fighting the Corsairs yesterday, and now your helping them?" "What? Pish, miss, me help a Corsair! Inconcievable!"
The nurse let up just as two orderlys arrived, out of breath. "Please escort Mr. Holmes to the cafeteria. I hear there's soup today." "Oh soup. Always did love me a good bowl of soup, just loike me mam made on Trafalg'r. Lead on, gents!"
He stood and struck a pose before marching off, harranguing the two with well-meant advice the whole way. "Chin up laddie! Back straight! March with prescion! Left, right, left not right ye twit! Forward fer teh Crown!"
gone four years, first day back: Zoners still getting shot in Theta :|
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