Log entry No: 1
Location: Planet Toledo, Omicron Minor
Here I am, standing on the cliffs above the dockpad where my Bastet usualy lands. Just got out of the weekly doctor's appointment. They have good doctors here, maybe the best in Sirius, some say. Need to, I guess, with all the Nomad crap they're dealing with.
This one's got a mind in him, I can see. Young fella, five years younger than my 31, but he's already got ten times more brain than I ever will. The idea of me writing up what's left of my memories - that's him. I am no writer - at least that much I remember. "Writing what you can remember will help joging your memory" - he says. Ha. Maybe he's got a point.
It is kinda strange, that memory loss of mine. I was in what they call a medically induced coma for a year after the... 'incident'. The incident part - that was more that two years ago. When I woke up, I coudn't remember anything of the entire year before the kaboom, and I had holes in a bunch of other memories too. The Brets that saved my life did what they could. They actually brought some things back, but not much. At least they put me back together just fine, thanks very much. A prostetic knee, couple of spinal vertebrae that will wake up any metal sensor, some other "minor" repairs, and I was space capable again. Physycally. Mentaly, well... that took a bit longer. "A work in progress", my doc calls me. Better than a grave any day.
So the Bret docs did their job, and kicked me out. Big red "unfit for operating spacecraft" in my piloting license. Like I wanted to go back out there anyway. Where else to go, but back home? Off to Pittsburg I went. My folks had by then recovered from the worries I caused them, and it was good to see the family again. For a while. Ma and the girls wouldn't stop fussing around me though - women, what can you do?! I endured the love for a month, and when I felt I was about to explode, Uncle Zeb came to the rescue. Offered to take me with him to his ranch on Erie - "the doctors said the boy needs fresh air and exercize, right, Annie dear? Where better than with me then. I can use the help, and he's family". Ma hates it when they call her Annie /her name is Anna/, but uncle Zeb always gets away with it. Maybe because he and Da are twins - I don't know - buy Ma has a soft spot when uncle Zeb's concerned.
Saved I was again, and off to Erie we went. Let me tell you, there's nothing better for easing one's mind from dark thoughts that working outdoors 12-14 hours a day. Herding lizards, well... that is a dayly adventure on its own. In short, I worked my but off there for six months, and it seemes to have helped. The license board pronounced me ''fit" to fly again, and by that time I was starting to get back the hunger for the Big Dark.
There was a lot I couldn't yet remember though, and the docs were starting to lose hope. Three more months passed in lizard herding and other equally merry ocupations, and then things took a hell of a turn.
But for that - tommorow. It's time for diner, and the docs are not the only briliant craftsmen here, if you get my drift...
"Come on, people. We have a job to do, so let's be about it" - Lady Dame Steadholder Admiral Honor Alexander-Harrington, RMN A weapon is a device for making your enemy change his mind. The mind is the only battlefield that matters. Everything else is just ... fuss.
Lieutenant Lord Miles Naismith Vorkosigan / Admiral Miles Naismith/ "Always aim for the stars, boy. Even if you miss, you'll at least not end up shooting your leg"
Ascribed to General Count Piotr Pier Vorkosigan
<span style="color:#FFFF33">"I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."</span>
Bene Gesserit Litany Against Fear.
