Hope is the worst of all evils, for it prolongs the torments of man.

[Narcotic]

"Illusion is the first of all pleasures." a sweet and melodic voice whispers. The words rush through his thoughts like a waterfall out of needles, slowly penetrating the innermost spot of his head. Pain, warmth - his feelings are mixed. His corpse appears to be filled with a ice-cold liquid. Simultaneously the heat remains. Fever. "What is this mystery?! Show yourself!" his deep voice shouts frantically. Whereupon the female voice answers honestly: "The true mystery of the world is the visible, not the invisible." The voice echos, becoming louder and repeating faster, until it finally turns into a disturbing singing. Suddenly it ends abruptly. "Whoever fights monsters should see to it that in the process he does not become a monster. And if you gaze long enough into an abyss, the abyss will gaze back into you." The voice died. Awakened.

I sweated heavily when I opened my eyes widely. "Just a dream." I said to myself, trying to calm down. From my left I've heard a dozy grumbling. "Sorry Nat, didn't meant to wake you up." I whispered. "Nightmares?" She mumbled. "Yes, hon. Paradoxically I've been dreaming of you." I laughed and stretched my legs. She fling her left arm round my naked chest, pulling me towards her warm body. "Of me? Couldn't have been a nightmare then, no? She glanced at me with a seductive smile. "But I'm seriously worried, my sweet." I replied frowning. "Life is far too important a thing ever to talk seriously about." She gave me a shy kiss on my neck. "You're beating me. But I'm earnestly feeling sick." I rubbed my temples nervously. Natalie, obviously being annoyed, answered in a dominant sound: "Listen Ed. Nothing can cure the soul but the senses, just as nothing can cure the senses but the soul. Sleep is the best medicine, and my love is your elixir. Tomorrow you'll feel much better - believe me."

[Narcotic]

Neural Net Log - Captain Edward Hope

Personal Entry:

Thursday, the 14. February 820

"I still live, I still think: I still have to live, for I still have to think." As I watched outside the window, I noticed that they've already finished the new module. It's all her work. Since my sudden illness a few days ago, I've handed the Pandora's command over to Natalie, until I'd feel better. Actually it'd have been Thomas' and John's task to jump in for me - but something made me distrusting them. I feel awful. It's now almost a week that I'm tied to bed at the hospital deck. Can't even remember how it feels to be alive and kicking. First of all I suffered stomach pain, which then got replaced by immense headache. The doctors are at a loss. Bed rest, bed rest and bed rest they said.

Today was the first day that I felt comfortable to write a log. So who knows? - Maybe this'll be the last one of the famous captain Edward hope... Well, if things won't change, I might be healthy within the next days. And then, at first I'll probably survey the Pandora's Box. There's much work to do. After all I'm commanding a cruise liner now, which is looking forward for some impressive cruises to Sirius' borders. I've always dreamed of doing such. Can't wait for it.

[Narcotic]

Neural Net Log - Captain Edward Hope

Personal Entry:

Saturday, the 2. March 820

Two weeks have passed, and I'm still not feeling better. That sickness is cursed. Sometimes it appears like the doctors are sedating me. And I've got the feeling, that Natalie enjoys me being confined to bed for that long. Actually, I haven't seen her for quite a few days now. Or weeks? Hell, I can't believe that the time is passing by that fast. What are those drugs? I'm having trouble to stay concentrated. As if something gains control of my mind. But in the end it's a pleasant condition - I need some rest. Damn, I hear the nurse coming, she forbid me to make audio logs. Who do they think they are? I'm in charge here...

[Narcotic]

Neural Net Log - Captain Edward Hope

Personal Entry:

Friday, the 22. March 820

"Sol - Chronicle of the 22th Century" the book cover said. What? The old rheinland libary. I can't really remember why exactly I came here. Nor do I know what I was about to do just now. Did I just say that? Oh. Well, this place reminds me of a few years ago, when I first had access to the large libary, which contains a fair lot of the ancient knowledge and history. At least that little bit what the sleeper ship "Rheinland" could have saved from the Exodus. Wait - what am I doing here? Ah, now I remember, I was told to study the history from before the Exodus, and... - who told me? Oh. The time is running. I haven't seen daylight since over a week now. I really should get some fresh air. A break would be great now.