Okay, uhm, I have no clue why I am doing this. "Because you feel the need to talk about things? And maybe because you also feel the need to make sure someone will find this and understand who you really were once you are gone?" Excuse me. Why are you in my quarters again while I record this? "Because I know what you are recording anyway. And you didn't tell me to leave yet, sister." Fair enough but can you leave, please? Thank you.
Okay, uhm, where was I? She is somewhat right, you know. I did decide to do this for those who come after. Not of our kind, they will know our story anyway. Being connected and all that. When Rakshasa offered us the chance to keep our human parts alive and our free will, I instantly agreed. It's not like I hate being part of the collective, the opposite. But it is a big difference to be me still and to be a mindless slave. The only condition was that they would assume direct control if we ended up going against the collective. Against the Abyss.
Reality strikes quickly. Civil Servant is worried, and so are we. 'The War of Heavens' he calls it. Our brethren in the Omicrons, we are similar, yet so different. Their aggressive approach of destroying everything human, or forcing them into servitude through infection or enthrallment, will ultimately lead to the destruction of the entire Void. An open war with the humans, with Sirius. The last time that happened, it ended badly; we were almost destroyed. We need to be careful, very careful. The fact that several of them have opened fire upon us, despite knowing what we are, shows me their real face. The truth is that they think we are weak because of how different we are, of how different our approaches are. They want to re-integrate us into their share, but that simply means that we will cease to exist in the end. Even we have our principles and our morals.
To prepare for the storm that is to come, we need to fix up the Falkenhorst and begin preparations for its conversion. Mother is dreaming, so we need to make sure the others are following her example and don't let us rot. We need their help to bring our shell back to full capacity. Even if it means we have to hybridize its systems. We need to be ready for the heavenly war that is slowly approaching.
Apologies if this log is a mess. Never felt the need to do it, but here we are. I started babbling, and this is the result of it, hah.
Dearest Dreamer. We need you. For the Light. For the Abyss.
While my sister is recording her things, I will simply type it out. Can focus better while typing anyway, and I don't need to hear her babbling. What can I really say? She is right with some parts. Staying human, never thought that really was possible. After the Gallic War, I have lost faith in humanity. I can already hear the 'Lucia, you are a hypocrite ' talk. You despise Gallia for glassing Leeds, yet you are part of the Abyssal Share. I never said I was perfect, but there is no way I would call it a mistake I made.
You know, all the decisions I made led me here, into this very moment, sitting here in my quarters and typing this. The real reason I type instead of record is lying behind me on my bed. Can't be too loud with my Crimson Princess sleeping. Our brethren will never understand it. They think that we are weak, especially me and my sister. They infect them, turn them into mindless shells, mindless drones. It might be effective, I am not even going to deny that. They can't go against the share, but it limits them. We are way more effective in subterfuge and infiltration than they will ever be. In the long run, we will be more effective, I think. Well, I don't think it, I actually believe it. Love can be a great motivator in that.
The path of the Abyssal Light is the path I have chosen. I've seen it, she showed me. Rakshasa has shown me the truth. To achieve our goals is to be able to always be with her, with Emilia. For eternity. No one is going to take that away from me, no one is going to take her away from me. I will tear them apart, even if they are our brethren. Lay a hand on her and you will not see the next day.
Humans. They are all in the fangs of a self-declared divinity. They lost sight of what really matters long ago. They pray to their god as if it were almighty and could solve every problem in their life. Do you know what or who I am talking about? Credits. In the end, they will fear me more than their god. I will make them tremble if I find them staying in our way. If they end up touching my Emilia, I will take their hands first. She is part of my family.
My beloved. My sister. The Abyss. The three things that mean the most to me. And I will protect them, even if it means I turn into a monster.
It is getting more and more difficult to close my eyes. She is slumbering, dreaming. We need guidance, we need help. Mother promised that the silence would soon be over, but what does soon really mean? Time is something we have enough of after all.
Every time I close my eyes, I have these nightmares. The others can feel my pain, my worry, my restlessness. My sister is trying to comfort me, but without success. Would they really try and destroy us? Would our brethren really try something like that? In the past, it sounded like our existence was a mistake in their 'eyes'. They wanted us to rejoin the share. But if we agreed, we would be gone now. Consumed, silenced, assimilated.
I am afraid of what is to come. How many will really perish? How many humans will die as collateral damage? Will our 'friends' stand by our side if the 'War of Heavens' begins? Will it actually happen?
I can't risk getting distracted. This shell, the Falkenhorst, is my responsibility. Those on board are still human. Indoctrinated, some enthralled, others willingly, but still human. And then there is my sister Chevalier, no, Lucia, and her beloved Emilia. I gave my word to protect her. I promised it. What weight does my word hold if I can't keep it? What is it really worth in the end?
Dearest Light, guide me in the path ahead. I need your advice.
I am not sure if I should be mad or just outright indifferent about this. A week ago or so we've met the Unioners in Hamburg. We made a bit of an appearance onboard the Von Claussen. It was entertaining so to say. My sister was in command again, like always. I am not really part of the Platform. Gallic Royal Intelligence, former Voilé Squadron. Whatever. These times are long gone, luckily so.
Gunda Riehl. A name my sister apparently knows well and I know everything my sister knows. More or less. I have to admit, I didn't think they were that stupid. I know the story of the Insurgency, Harmony and the Unioners. Harmony ordered a Hel-class from them. The Unioners refused to hand it over while it was paid for and they really were in need of it. Harmony went angry and started shooting at them but only briefly. I even know that my sister managed to stop it together with one Jennifer Engel. A Hel was given to Harmony and the conflict ended, even if the tension remained. The funniest part was when Bellamy appeared there. Prometheus really believing the story of the Unioners. What an ass. Bellamy. Don't you insult my fiancé again or I am going to tear you apart while she watches. 'Red Veil'. The next time I see you, I am going to destroy you, you insignificant worm. No one insults my Crimson Princess.
