Origin of the Feces

[angstclot]

The Security guard removes Lester's hood and leads him into the Green Hell's central cavern.

'It's not as big as I thought it would be' He thinks to himself as his eyes adjust to the light. 'It IS large, but far more densely compacted than I expected.'

He takes it all in as he's escorted up the main thoroughfare. The perimeter wall of the circular cavern is congested with a combination of homes and businesses built into the rock. As he's led further towards the center, he passes countless other free-standing buildings, all constructed of metal, stone and wood. And the plantlife. Lester's senses are bombarded with the sight and scent of massive amounts of plant overgrowth everywhere. Just...literally everywhere.

"The ceiling is impressive." he noted aloud, looking at the dozens upon dozens of gigantic monitors anchored onto it, each screen broadcasting a view from just outside the station of the Islay Ice Cloud, collectively giving him the impression of an airy openness in spite of his claustrophobic surroundings. Truly, (he thought) as close to being in the out of doors while residing within the confines of a space station as one could get.

"This could be the interview of a lifetime." he said to himself with a smile.

[angstclot]

With the security guard standing just outside, Lester waits patiently in Banger's office, looking over some of the Gaians personal effects scattered around..and with the exception of the human skull sitting on a shelf by the window, he finds everything else on the whole as surprisingly average.

He has never seen a real skull outside of personal media or a museum before, and he is absolutely fascinated by it. The teeth, the noseholes, the color of the bone. Who it could have been. Was it a cop? Outcast?

Out of pure curiosity, he raised his finger up to touch it and was strongly startled as Banger Grim entered the room.

"You must be the journalist bloke." he said, walking to the wetbar and grabbing a pair of clay cups.

"Yes Sir." Lester replied, doing his best to keep the rush of adrenaline from shaking his voice. "I was admiring your decor and curious if your skull here was real or not."

"Aye, It's real." the Gaian replied casually while pouring the drinks. "It's the head of my best friend."

Oh! I'm sorry. I meant no disrespect. How did he die if I may ask?"

Banger walked towards the writer, his face as grim as his name, offering the nervous man his alcohol while speaking in a low growl. "One day, I caught him getting too close to my personal belongings."

[The Banger Grim]

After a pregnant pause of menacing, unbroken eye contact, Matthew Grim releases the tension with a comically exaggerated, yet sincere smile. "Relax, I'm only %=^*ing with you. It was actually my nephew that snuffed him."

"Please, have a seat and make yourself comfortable," the Gaian offered the man before upending the contents of his own cup. "The others will be joining us in their own time, so we can begin whenever you're ready."

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[angstclot]

"Well," said Lester, the nervousness draining out of him as his professional mind took over. "If you don't mind, I'd like to have you sit by the window over here instead of behind your desk, it will help raise your likability percentage with the viewers. Plus, the view overlooking the biosphere would be much easier on the eyes than just a wall."

"Fair e'nuff" Banger replied. "As a matter of fact, I've never been interviewed before and not really all that comfortable with it, I say we get out of here and talk on the move. The others can locate us on the neural-net and meet up with us as they like."

After a moments thought of logistics and production value, Lester agrees to the offer with professional cool, but inside, is doing his happy dance. "I think that will be fine, then. I'd like to start the interview in the Woodlands Cavern. I've always heard about it but I've nev--"

"--Neither you, nor your cameras are allowed into the southern cavern." interrupted Grim; his tone final. He moves to the door and holds it open for his guest. "C'mon now, off we go."

[Shamus]

Shamus approached the two men from behind. Banger Grim had the young reporter engaged in small talk, pointing out the various shops and features of Level 66 as they walked.

*Ahem, Matthew?*

The two men turned, momentarily speechless to see what appeared to be a floating black watchcap; pulled down until it covered where a neck might have been.

Grim broke into paroxysms of laughter at the sight. "What's with the get-up, Shamus?" he said, wiping tears from his eyes.

*Well, Chief, when ye mentioned 'interview', I was thinkin' we'd be wise t' conceal our mugs, eh? I'm not partial t' havin' me globe on a Bretonian 'Wanted!' poster somewhere!*

"Oh,", said Banger, chortling at his Master at Arms, "and how many floating sentient spheres are out there that can finger you as a terrorist?

"Here, let's have that ridiculous thing off, Shamus!"

The interviewer continued to gape as Banger Grim pulled away the watchcap to reveal the floating titanium globe that "was" Shamus O'Shaunessy. He introduced Lester to Shamus, watching as the two "eyeballed" each other.

*Well met, boyo. Now, ye might wanna be closin' that gapin' gob, or ye'll have a family o' Gaian fruitbats livin' in yer gullet before ye know it!*

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