Xeno Alliance Recruitment (iRP) ***OLD***

[Angelfire]

er.. oh yeah.. ah done fergot to menshun... i has got me a degree in englush from mah mammas yewniversity!

an she says yew lot be the raht place to applahs me exepshinul skeels!

---

The Chronicles of Angelfire

[Dusty Lens]

David stumbled back to his quarters exhausted but jubilant, lady luck had bestowed the Xenos with an overwhelming victory, following days of botched skirmishes and lost traders they'd found themselves in what seemed a final hopeless situation, only to emerge utterly triumphant. If he jumped he wouldn't be surprised if the resounding cheers flooding Ouray wouldn't simply carry him through the air. Reaching his quarters he spotted a pair of the familiar brown envelopes sitting in the 'tube waiting to be looked over. Pouring himself a hasty shot o' victory whiskey he tore the first envelope open.

Wha... Cabbage? Is this a joke? This must be a joke. We've ignant fools aplenty in the Xenos, but I'll be darned if I'm putting one of my ships into the hands of one.

*scrawls: 'send this one back and tell him to try again, we like our jokes, but we aint a joke.'*

Now lesse... Ain't none of my business who you are then eh? If yer going to be flying in my wing, you better bet I'm gonna want to know who you are and where you're coming from.

*scrawls: Tell the Sassy Bandit to throw down a little background info, we can't turn away pilots with a bit of fire in their eye and a steady aim, but that doesn't mean we're gonna be reeling in potential spies hand over fist*

Allright, 'nuff work then! Back to the party!

[Angelfire]

Kahbahjj squinted at the form is hand; 'Jowk? who this 'ere fewl be callin a jowk?'

He tore the printout up and took a swig from his flask.
'My mama wuz raht about these here Zeeners! they is a bit slow... lemme try summin else.'

He grabbed his holopad and hastily scribbled his reply.

'Deaar Zeener boss. This aint no Joke, ma mama dun likes them cabbages so she done named me after one. Ah think yew is discrimunatin aginst the wrong feller here! I is one bad mutha and ah will fits reeeaaal good in yer little gang oh misfits! Please go on home to yer wife/sister..whatever and git some council before yew rejects me!'

So long sucker.
Kahbahjj (son of Kahbohjj son of KahLehtahs)

---

The Chronicles of Angelfire

[Muleo]

Comm ID: Mule

Well do most people joining an organisation like this hustle you've got going here reveal everything at first glance? I can't reveal my real name 'cause that might implicate some family I got living in Liberty. They see things a bit differently from I do, but I love em, and especially with them hackers on the rise, I can't risk Liberty catching wind that one of their family members are out to kill em, lest they send my family to do some damned labour...

As for my loyalty, you've got nothing to worry about, my loyalty to those who deserve it is almost as great as my hatred of the current Liberty 'regime' and it's corrupt lackadaisical ways.

Let me prove my worth, get to know me, and you won't regret it.

End transmission.

[Dusty Lens]

David hadn't even found his way out the door, repleanished in his one clean sweater and some manner of homebrewed cologne before the tube whooshed with two returned documents, with a hurried groan he rushed over to check them out.

Er... Fine fine fine, allright Mr. Cabbage we'll stick you on some ground crew somewhere till we can figure out if you can pick up a rock without necessitating a stoppage of breath in order to free up brain power.

Mule... Mule... Frak it, we'll send a shuttle to pick you up and figure out who you are when you step foot into our little floatin cave. Ain't like we aren't riddled with spies as it is like as not.

With that David hastily wrote out a set of instructions on both applications and bolted out the door, ready to join the celebrating before any more work demands took him.

[Unseelie]

GAZPACHO SOUP

3 tomatoes (quartered)
1/2 cucumber
1/2 pepper
1/2 onion
Garlic clove
3 tbsp. wine vinegar
1 tsp. salt
1/2 tsp. pepper
2 tbsp. olive oil
1/8 tsp. white pepper

---

[Capt. Henry Morgan]

Glenn sits at his desk to sort through any paperwork that comes his way and sees an envelope on his desk

Hmm... it's from the boys down in recruiting, let's see what it says.

Glenn opens the envelope and starts reading.

Wait, that's not an application for the Serps, it's just a recipe. Still, it looks good, I'll send this down to the mess hall.

Glenn stuffs the envelope into a pneumatic tube and presses a button marked "kitchens", and moves on to the rest of his paperwork.

---

Natio Octavarium
Faction Information and Status • Recruitment
Faction Feedback • Internal Affairs

[Zasalamel]

===Incoming Transmission===
From: Akhmet Khufu
To: Xeno Alliance Recuitment Center

=PLAY=

Hello? Xeno Terrorists? This is Akhmet Khufu!! I am weeling(willing) to join se(the) Xeno Alliance! I am willing to geev(give) my life for watevar(do I really have to explain that?) cos(cause)! Aither(either) beeing(being) seemply(simply) keeled(killed) arr(or) far(for) se(the) beelargerant(belligerent) ALLAH!!(???). Okay! ah'm oot(out)! FOR ALLAH! FOR TERRORISM!!

=STOP=

===Transmission Ended===

---

Sig made by Jazz

[Capt. Henry Morgan]

Glenn opens the next envelope on his desk and begins to read

Hmm............ What? I think I need to run this one through the translator.

Puts the letter into the translator and waits....

Well, at least I can read it a little better this time... I think this guy's had a little too much synth today. Maybe he'll send another application when his head clears..... He didn't even explain why he wants to join....

Glenn puts the letter aside and moves on to the next item in his inbox

---

Natio Octavarium
Faction Information and Status • Recruitment
Faction Feedback • Internal Affairs

[Zasalamel]

*Next Day*

*A dark man with a goatee and a red Turkish hat comes in the next day.*

"Hi. I'm that crazy guy who sent you a transmission yesterday. I was too high. I'm sorry. I want to join the Xeno Alliance because I want to make Liberty scared and feel unsafe. I am willing to give my life to protecting the Xenos and its bases. I am going to terrorize Liberty, and anybody that gets in our way."

*The man sits down and waits for a response.*

---

Sig made by Jazz