Sunbucks Cafe

[Zasalamel]

A young woman entered the bar, and walked over to the bartender.
"What'll it be" said the bartender.
"Cawfee." replied the woman.
"Alright, one second."
The woman noticed a loose screw in the table. She took our her wrench and tightened it, straining.
"Here you go." said the bartender, giving her her coffee.
She got up and walked away, drinking the coffee, until she tripped on something in the ground and the glass shattered. She quickly got up, looked around, and sprinted away without even cleaning up the mess.

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Sig made by Jazz

[Marcus Lindberg]

(recruit) Officer Marcus Lindberg walks in for the first time in this cafe. He wished it was a bar instead. Easier to pick up women.

He looks down, see's some trash on the floor: Broken glass.

Grudgingly, he find a broom and a basket and cleans it all up. "Damn kids." he thinks to himself, unsure of how that trash was even left there.

He walks over, and asks for some cold, hard beer.

"Its a cafe you nut you think we have beer?" exclaims the man in charge.

Marcus turns around and decides to walk out of the cafe until he hears this.

[enterprise5595]

Sergeant Jerry Shaw was just on his way to the bar when he saw Marcus leaving with disappointment clearly showing on his face. He approached the young officer and asked:

-Why the sad face lad?

Marcus explained to him that his request for beer was rudely refused. This answer upset Jerry who was known to be having drinks here more often than he should so he felt bad for the new guy.

-There IS in fact alcohol here but they only serve it to more senior officers - not the recruits. But what the hell - come with me and I'll get you a cold beer and introduce to the rest of the LPI here. Said Jerry and they proceeded back into Sunbucks.

After about an hour Jerry walked out with a smile thinking he made one more person happy today.

[Marcus Lindberg]

Marcus gladly drank his beer. And then he woke up.

"Aww you gotta be kiddin me, that was a DREAM?

[XxStevenLexX]

Recruit Officer Steven Le walks into the cafe for the first time, and is immediately startled by an uproar of laughter from the LPI. He was dead tired from his first day as a flatfoot and was excited to be drinking coffee instead of making it.

He sits down in the midst of the other LPI officers, and lets on a smirk; his first day of work may be over, but there's a bright future of excitement ahead for him. That and donuts. He loves donuts.

"I sure do love donuts," he mutters with a full mouth as he takes a bite from his glazed pastry.

I told you. I'm an all-knowing narrator. I even break the fourth wall.

---

LPI-Steven.Le[O] (Recruit Officer; Patriot)
Subject to abuse by Sergeant Tom Smith.

[Marcus Lindberg]

A waiter hands a donut to Sergeant Joe Smith.

As soon as Joe bites into the donut, he throws up.

"LINDBUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1"

[Donutman]

Joe runs up to Lindburg, whips out his taser, and drops him to the floor. Then he runs up to Le, shouting "LEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!" and tazes him too. "THAT WAS FOR THREATINING TO SHAFT ME WITH A PISTOL THE OTHER DAY!!" He looks around and sees everyone staring at him. "WHAT'RE YOU ALL LOOKIN AT?" he yelled. All the Officers immediently got back to there coffee. "Thats what I thought..." mutters Smith. Then he looks down at Le, tazes him again, then tazes Lindburg again. He picks up Le's coffee, and walks out the door.

---

This thread is so stupid that a bird sitting on a nearby tree just EXPLODED.

[XxStevenLexX]

*bzzt*

Before falling unconscious from the sheer pain, Steven croaks out :

"I never threatened you....that was Lin-..."

*bzzt* *bzzt* *bzzt*

---

LPI-Steven.Le[O] (Recruit Officer; Patriot)
Subject to abuse by Sergeant Tom Smith.

[Marcus Lindberg]

After getting Tazed....

"SON OF A GUN! I'MM FRIENDLY B-ACH!"

Marcus pulls out his Tazer and shoots Joe at the back, Joe falls to the ground, spilling his coffee on his clothes...

"And THAT'S for Tazin me butthole!"

[Stygian]

Aiden walks in and sees Steven lying in the floor. He looks up and says "Aiden...Joe stun". Aiden cuts him off "Shut up foo, you probably deserved it. Because you took that neon instead of credits today I couldn't afford a lap dance. You know what..." Aiden gives him a quick zapp with his tazer. "You'll know better next time, eh?"

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