Baffin' Pentabarf

[Malaclypse 666]

To: Eric G.
From Mal

Goddes is my head pounding. I could have walked down the Veranda hall to tell you, heh. *Ouch*

Anyway. For...lessee.. Spittin', Piratin', and Cluelessness,

the "O-boys" are hereby declared Enemas of Bafiin and Eris, wherever they may hang their hats.

Added to the List.

Oww.. is there Alka-Seltzer?

Mal

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[Kyte_]

Fyre pulled her holo pad out and reviewed the coms and looked around, her cheeks becoming red with anger.

"What is so difficult for these cabbages to understand... ah perhaps they'll get the message at the end of my Dessie guns."

She sent an encrypted message to her second to set course for Baffin from parts unknown.

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[mt51784]

~Incoming Transmission~

Sender: Jack "The Reverend" Crews
Location: Gran Canaria
Subject: fill in here

~Message Begins~

Doodly doo hoss, and fellow popes. Well looks like we have more cabbages who feel like bein' impolite to a reverend. The gun cam shots will tell the rest the story.





Hail Eris,

~End Transmission~

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Want more information on the ZoE or give Feedback?

[Doc Holliday]

Congrats, Beggars. You are now on the Pentabarf. You attempted extortion in our system, shot up one of our people and pissed off Eris. By being added, you now have the honor of being shot at if we feel like it and by any Temple Acolyte....and there are a few.

Repent and I may change my mind about you. If not, well, en pace requiescat.

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[MFE]Med Force One | Tales of Recovery|Med Force Enterprises

[Yaoquizque]

++ Source : Gregorius Adagio , Captain of the Epsilon.Eridani ++
++ Destination : TAZ popes ++
++ Derivation : none ++
++ Encryption level : omega ++
++ Transmission begins ++

Hello my good popes.
I have unfortunately to report an unauthorized docking to Pueblo Bonito.

Unauthorized docking at Pueblo Bonito!

An outcast ship, callsign "Malgalad", docked there without any clearance request, and when i explained him this was a restricted area, he showed little interest about my little speech.

He claimed he had an engine problem and had to dock to the closest station on his sight, since he only crossed the system. Which appears to be a lie. My long range scanners detected he spent many time in our system.

He didn't apologized nor told me he understood the gravity of his violation.
Since he showed no respect, i don't see why we should show some to him.

Consider him warned.

++ End of transmission ++

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[Malaclypse 666]

Comm ID: Malaclypse

Ahh, the smell of ionized particles in the morning, eh Pope Gregorius?

I heard that "Malgalad" paid a second visit to the Restricted area near the Temple... When will these cabbages learn?

Why, just this morning I undocked to find yet another running with his tail on fire to dock at our beloved Pueblo Bonito.

Vessel "NaturuXe" blew right past me before I could even get a look at his shiney paint job. He docked, and then for a good five minutes, and the obligatory demands, remained sequestered without a single word in response.

He then undocked, and I verified the vessel to be a Raven's Talon, level 54. I told him to leave the Temple, and Baffin immediately. Still the cabbage ignored me, and commenced "weapons testing" right under my nose!

Well.. I cleaned the Scrubbies out of my gun barrels, lads. Poof.

He must have had a backup ship, because not thirty seconds later, he tried to come out and give me a ration again.. This time I told him that My Goddess and the Gods dictate that he vacate the premises! What did he do? He docked yet again, and "went to ground".

Long story short. Vessel "NaturuXe", Raven's Talon, requires an Enema. Banned from Baffin for Ignorin', Spittin', and violating our Sacred Temple.

Good hunting,
E-Primed and Ready

Edit: This cabbage finally decided to undock while I was having a chat with the Colonials. He's changed his name to "N'turuXe" now.. And, he gave me the finger on the way out. Enema'd with Extreme Prejudice! Mal.

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[Malaclypse 666]

Comm ID: Mal

A new one folk, and a real turky clothed as an Eagle this time.

Vessel "Inconnu". Lvl 84 bloody Eagle.

According to Templar.Gimmel, who had just given a system-wide lecture on the Laws of Baffin; this hores's patoot undocked from the Temple right in front of him, and refused multiple warnings to leave the area.

Not only that, after the last warning, and a quick demise. The gent claimed that PB was his home, and that he planned ot stay a good long while.

So, for violation of Barf the Fifth, and for refusing a direct order from his Hosts, vessel "Inconnu" is banned from Baffin, and is declared an Enema of the Church.

Make it hurt, Popes. None of Sophie's gentle coloncis for this poot.

Mal

Edit: Added to Pentabarf, and requesting my first "Faction 5". Mal

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[Malaclypse 666]

Comm ID: E-Prime

Yes, people, it's once again time to point you to our pathetically simple "Laws of Baffin", aka the Pentabarf.

I don't know how much simpler and easier to follow we could make them, really.. How hard can it be?

Well, to business.

Based on reports from Warden Kyte and Reggie Waverly we're adding "Captain_Leela" to our Enemas list, for the following:

Violating restricted space (Temple Trespassing);
Ignoring hails numerous times;
Going to ground (F1);
Reappearing, and ignoring hails again.

Welcome to the Rubber Rose Roundup, Captain Leela. TAZ and our contractors, the Mandalorians, reserve the right to administer your Enema anywhere in Sirius (or bloody Gallia, for that matter..).

Warden, Doc and I will be reviewing the Enemas List in the near future. It appears that some of the older "chestnuts" have either hunkered down, changed transponders, or left the building entirely. Time for a little cleanup for easier reference.

Our System. Our Laws. Our Right.

Regards,
Malaclypse

---

[Yaoquizque]

++ Source : Gregorius Adagio, Captain of the Epsilon.Eridani ++
++ Destination : TAZ popes ++
++ Derivation : none ++
++ Encryption level : mu ++
++ Transmission begins ++

Kallisti.

As i was doing my guard duty near Pueblo Bonito i spotted a ship, callsign "The.Navajo". The pilot ignored my request to stop and docked to Pueblo Bonito.
I told him to undock quickly or bad things may happen. The pilot kept ignoring me.
// He logged off actually, thinking he could avoid the spanking.

Guncams :
First
Second

Logs :

2010-05-22 00:55:13 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: Hold on
2010-05-22 00:55:19 SMT
Foxtrot.: Roger Wilco.
2010-05-22 00:55:22 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: You are on a restricted area
2010-05-22 00:55:42 SMT
Foxtrot.: Understood. I require something from Pueblo Bonito however
2010-05-22 00:55:49 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: The Navajo
2010-05-22 00:55:52 SMT
Foxtrot.: I understand that I'm not allowed to dock there though. Which presents a dilema
2010-05-22 00:55:55 SMT
Foxtrot.: Ah...
2010-05-22 00:55:57 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: You undock right now
2010-05-22 00:56:04 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: Or bad things will happen
2010-05-22 00:56:09 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: Understand me pilot?
2010-05-22 00:56:30 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: Right...
2010-05-22 00:57:03 SMT
Foxtrot.: I don't think he can hear you
2010-05-22 00:57:11 SMT
Foxtrot.: Try System Wide
2010-05-22 00:57:26 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: Nah he can hear me just fine
2010-05-22 00:57:40 SMT
Foxtrot.: // Actually, If you're docked then you can't see local chat
2010-05-22 00:57:45 SMT
[TAZ]Epsilon.Eridani: // Hence why he logged off

Nice behavior deserving cookies.

++ End of transmission ++

---

[Arashi]

>>> Incoming Transmission <<<
>CommID: Alexandria Storm
>Encryption: Chaos
>Location: The Temple
>Destination: TAZ
>Subject: Cabbages

Today was an interesting day. Sirus_Cluster was docked at our Temple. At the time I could not verify this, their comms were bounced throughout baffin to discourage tracing it. But let me start a little sooner.

Sidhe and I were in Baffin, watching the traffic and giving guidance, when we noticed Sirus_Cluster was in system. I received a private com from Sirus_Cluster asking if they could purchase other weapons besides the SNAC from our glorious temple. I told them that unless they were TAZ or an approved accolyte, that they were not to dock at our temple and should stay at least 5k away. Sirus_Cluster then disengaged comms. ((logged out)).

Now a little later I met [TAZ]Trident.Of.Eris and were discussing a few things, when Sirus_Cluster un-docked from our temple and fled to Coronado. In my surprise at finding out that they'd been under my nose the entire time, I was unable to pursue. and my scanners were trained on a different location so I couldn't get a scan of the offender.

They did not respond to hails from [TAZ]Trident.Of.Eris.

I'm am new here, and felt I needed to report this, but as to what actions should be taken I leave that up to my more experienced and esteemed peers.

All Hail Eris!
Arashi

>>> Transmission Closed <<<

EDIT: // my FL lagged out before i could get Screens of my conversation logs, or scans, so the one conversation log above is compliments of Tristan

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Enjoying a game isn't always taking the easy route, sometimes you have to take chances and trust in luck, sometimes that luck takes a big bite out of your backside.