Who the Bleep are the TAZ?

[Malaclypse 666]

who can accept me in the zoner guild ???

Well, Devil Angel..

I'm not sure you're looking in the right place here. The TAZ are indeed Zoners, sir; but we are first and foremost Discordians.

We take our Goddess siriusly. That is why there are Sacred Works to be studied, and questions to be answered, and names to be learned, and nekkid pagan initiations to endure.

Search this frequency. You will find links to our Holy Tome, and to the works of Hakim Bey, and to the true meaning of Temporary Autonomy. Contact me directly if you require assistance, pilot.

We don't just "fly" in "pretty ships". We fly gloriously and most esoterically for our Goddess!

Do you have the Pineal? We shall see. We shall see.

Kallisti!
Mal

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[the devil angel]

OK thanks to respond

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Am a French people sorry for my writting in English

[Zukeenee]

Comm ID: Charlie, baby!
Transmit to: The Old Man Above the Clouds

Whew! It's been a while, huh? So, uh, how's everybody doing? Has anyone been watering my plants like I asked 'em to? No, wait, I forgot to ask... damn. Well. I'm sure I can bum some of the Golden Stuff offa' someone else for a bit, until I can get my little crop back on its feet. Or roots. Or whatever.

Anyway, that's right! I've taken my time off, spun around this fine little galaxy of ours, and wound up back here. Funny how that works, innit?

I spent a while on Freeport 14 like I said I would. A pretty desolate place, truth be told, but peaceful. The folks on the station were friendly, though not the most out-going of folk. I suppose that's why they packed up and left for Yukon in the first place. A good place to be alone. Well, I got a good taste of the true Zoner way there, as it was in the early pioneering days. Isolation.

Got old fast.

So I hitch-hiked a ride back to the heart of "civilization", right in the heart of good ol' Liberty. Pennsylvania. I didn't have the cash to settle down on Erie, and I didn't much want to anyway. I hear the place is being overrun by all sorts of cabbages nowadays. So I rented a small room in the living quarters of Bethlehem and found work in and around there.

Well.

I think we all know what Liberty's like. I wasn't there for long, either.

So then I realized that I was lookin' at this all the wrong way. I was seeing things in absolutes, in blacks and whites. Isolation against overpopulation. Old habits against new changes. Hodge against Podge. And that last one reminded me of our two little rocks of the same moniker, back home in Baffin. They have their dance, they clash every now and then, but they continue like that until there'll be nothing left of 'em. They're holding onto their black-and-white principles, neither yielding to the other, and they're dying because of it.

My ideals of what TAZ should be--of what it was and of what it is--were tearing me apart. I couldn't let go of my straight-jacket approach to our little flock. I couldn't have that going on inside me. I feel that, over the years, I'd gathered so many grids; so many variations of this so-called "reality" and stacked them on top on each other. I had so many of these grids stacked in front of my face that couldn't even see the light they were outlining anymore. So I took a trip to wipe it all clean. Bought myself another ship and flew all around Sirius, observing the Apparent Order and Disorder, bringing a sense of balance back to my life.

Well, I'm not gonna go on about it too much here. I figure a trip down to the Geode will do me good to clear me out once and for all and understand just what I've "learned."

So that's where we are. And now, the big question:

Can I come home now, please?

Lessee, where are those Questions Five you want all the recruits to answer? They must've changed since I applied all those years ago... Just show 'em to me, I'll give you a 23-page essay! I'll go out and herd Scrubbies for ya, I'll negotiate with those Gallic turds, I'll polish yer boots!

Just lemme back in, Mal. I'm ready to come home.

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[Malaclypse 666]

Comm ID: Malaclypse
To: Koskinin

Now Charlie,

You answered them all already.

What is your name? Answered.
What is your quest? Answered.
What is the sound of two bunnies dancing? Answered
What does a Discordian have for breakfast? Answered
Who do ya love?

I may require the essay at a later date; but meanwhile, just get home.

Mal

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[Lance_Uppercut]

The following was found scrawled on the bottom-side of a toilet seat on Pueblo Bonito. To whom it is for should be pretty evident:

I was sleeping.

Someone took my Amulet!

But they left this in its place...

(yes, the card was indeed glued to the seat too.)


...Which is nice because I ran out of those a while ago.

So, it reminds me, I'd like to invoke right #1 and just say "this" for each answer to your questions, whatever they happen to be at this point in time. Now, and retroactively-- just in case they changed since when you started reading this sentence.... ... .. . now.

Furthermore, in accordance with the unnumbered right #6, my ship is now a Saint.

So I am a Temporary Autonomous Bestfriend now, eh?'

You already knew that I'm unwilling to wait for mankind to improve. My extradiscordian studies must continue, but y'know, I'm just not feeling it. TAZ me.

Oh, and just so you know,

If I can't get heat in my apartment this evening, I will have to call the Health Department's emergency line. Are you aware they charge landlords a $250 fine when they respond and find a violation of statute?

-H. Zinn

------------------------------------------------------

~Transmission Blast~
Comm. ID: H. Zinn
Transmit to: Malaclypse

As you requested, the following are two paragraphs on "Amor-Fou" for your review.

Amour Fou is not a Social Democracy, it is not a Parliament of Two. The minutes of its secret meetings deal with meanings too enormous but too precise for prose. Not this, not that--its Book of Emblems trembles in your hand.

Naturally it ****s on schoolmasters & police, but it sneers at liberationists & ideologues as well--it is not a clean well-lit room. A topological charlatan laid out its corridors & abandoned parks, its ambush-decor of luminous black & membranous maniacal red.

I liked it, too. I can see why you wanted to read some of it again.

Please don't make me invoke Right #1 again... I'm running low on those cards and don't want to make copies for a while. Though I could always invoke it withou... no. Nevermind that.

Furthermore, I couldn't accept your money. *chuckle* Rich I ain't, but proud I is. I'll register my new callsign on my OWN, thank you. Ship change? No sir, this old Crow may be Moldy, but it's the only hunk of metal I'd ever rely upon.

*muttering* Unlesssomeone'sfeelinggenerous *cough* Oh, sorry. Had something stuck in my throat.

So uh... anyway,
Ta! See you in Baffin.

~Transmission Blasted!~

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::The Pennsylvania Liberation Force

[Malaclypse 666]

Mal to Zinn:

What was the H. for again? Heirophant?

So, you'd decided to quit genuflecting to the porcelain god, and pray to our Goddess instead, eh?

Five things you've forgotten:

You old ship's new [TAZ]Moniker;
Your Robe size;
Your FnordNet transponder;
Your FnordNet callsign; (aka Skype handle)
And, even Popes usually have to be dead several decades before becoming Saints. You'll have to settle for the Pope card.

Other than that, your stirring rendition of Ontological Anarchistic crazy love has enamored me. Welcome aboard, Pope Zinn.

You can PM me the forgotten things.

Mal

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[gitanos]

{~ Incoming Transmission~}
{~ Comms Id: Sukar ~}
{~ Source: Freeport1 ~}
{~ Comms Target: TaZ leaders- Mal ~}

Greetings ...

My name is Sukar Kolompar Plastic Jozsef-Bela-Romeo,

I daunt even know who do I call, but our brahmins told us that we should do this right now. So, as a head on a neck what can be described as something like a family I'm here finally.
Here and able to offer mey aid, and mey boyz. Ahh okey. Count in the girliez as well, but they are a bit more expensive.

Okey a Lille story 'bout mey little family. Well people usually call us ,,Gitanos". That is quite rude term I must tell you since there are only a few dozen Gitanos among us. The others are belonging to different families. So no- not all of us are Gitanos. But we are all from the same blood.

Well in most time...erm lets just say we are ,,working" for avoid the work. Travel and help our blood to find its place among the stars, but devladikamore, it is a very hard work now days.

Some of mey sons and their sons are become pirates nowdays... just to feed their families (and devlamekares, to poke some of the ignorants as they say). Doesn't really matter. What matters is that I found myself drivin' a huge vessel, filled with shouting and running children, shouting and crying women and people from all across sirius...

Well... I was thinking and I asked our brahmins to find a place or answers, what should we do now- or where could we go. The answer was...weirdo. They said we have to find the chaos what is similar to the one what is buried to our soul. They said, that they received some ,,holy pages,, from some ,,holy book,, and that it will guide us toward a better future...or at least some future.

What we do usually? well. flying from a base to another. searching our blood (no. not like the Rakshaszas) and taking care of each other. Ahh and if we Ar able to find something useful, than we sell it. erm..I mean we ...erm. make experiments on it (mostly price experiments). But our old *coughs*pirate*coughs* train, was so heavily damaged that it cannot fly more...so now we found ourselves stacked on Fp1, with like 730 family members, who becomes more and more angry since we cannot continue our travel and exploring.

You ask for some details about our jobs and usual works? erm....
Maybe you've heard of the unfortunate disappear of some of the important metallic parts and one arm of the last trade lane toward California from Magellan at the last month...well... I must tell you we have no relation to that issue and we definitely not sold the metal on Mactan for lane hackers as scrapmetal... I swear for the life of my dog.

Oh well...we have even more mouths to feed, and a fast-growing family... so... I guess you see the point already. The light at the end of the tunnel as I heard it from some libertian donuts.

I don't ask mutch...just let us paint your colors on our vessels, and let our children grow up like Tazmongers instead of poor gitanos...ohh well if you have any social webs what gives advantages with families over 120 children....we could accept every and all help...But to say the truth we have quite a huge pile of cash if we put together what we have... but still not enough for a vessel what could be capable of transporting such a huge family.

One of the brahmins told that I will have to be ready to answer these questions and he tried to explain me what is this whole thing about, but I'm kindo' old for this I think...or maybe it is the only thing I understand. I guess time will tell...


1) What is the "Eristic Principle"? Easy question for the youngest of our children: discordia leads toward a better word. Freedom means: there are patterns everywhere. If you see from a great distance, but maybe if you are close it seems to be chaotic. Even if you clean up those patterns- there will be a new order in the chaos what you cause. And in that order there will be even more chaos..
I think the question is: ,,what the hell is going on?,, IS the answer for itself. And the tree of knowledge is not that of life...

2) What is the "Aneristic Principle"? I am not sure. I guess if someone thinks he has the right to force his will on another being on the same level of existence. Or only when he fails with that and the other becomes angry...Hm. I think I would gave the apple to Athene...I just wonder...

3) What is the genealogy of the Discordian use of "Flaxscrip" as a form of legal tender? Hmm...the brahmin talked long about this but I don't remember a bit. If I recall well that Flax-scrip is an old glue. I think I had a tube of it when I lived on a collector.

4) What is a "Trick Top Hat"? Present a treatise on which two branches of Science and/or Metaphysics it represents. Well. I payed over 20k credits to find an original paper copy of that. I had no time to start reading but I keep it on my cupboard. I will read it or just ask a few of my childe' to do so...

5) List five Discordian non-Prophets. (Not including myself, of course.) prophets? Hard question. I was never too good with the names...or persons...maybe it is because I have so many children...

Well I think there is not too much what I could tell you without listening for your questions...
I just pray for Eris, and beat mey children if they kills flies with the Trick-Top book.

yours willingly:
The Sukars of the Samsarians

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{~ Transmission Terminated ~}
{~ Signal Lost ~}

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<span style="font-family:Microsoft Sans Serif">wtf is ~SamsarianS?</span> wth are [TAZ]?

[Malaclypse 666]

Mal to the Sukars:

Hmm.. well both your brahmins and your "chilluns" seem a bit light on their Discordiana.

Let's try again:

1: Give me two versions of the "Pentabarf". (Ancient and Contemporary.)

2: If I were the Prophet "Hakim Bey", who would I really be?

3: Which Prophet was "Emperor of the United States, and Protector of Mexico?

4: What is the answer to all obscure Discordian questions?

5: What happened at Lake Totenkopf?

Tough ones, I know, but If you can find the answers, then you truly are weird enough to follow Eris.

Break a leg!
Malaclypse

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[gitanos]

{~ Incoming Transmission~}
{~ Comms Id: Sukar ~}
{~ Source: Freeport1 ~}
{~ Comms Target: TaZ leaders- Mal ~}

Greetings ...



Well...

I was thinking and mey mind did not give me any clues. The children around me, screaming laughing made me angry. Their mothers were shouting on them, and their fathers. well...they were around aswell doing their usual small circles. That cacophony made my mind overcome with inputs and I cannot even focus. The problems of leading a chaotic nation like ours is terrible. So terrible. But after a few minutes I have realized that this is the key to the whole question. This cacophony. This madness around me. The thing that none can lead a pack of individuals or in other words everything is equal in some way. That there is not only no Order, but there is not even need for that. Since everything has its own reason and surrounding power. And who are we to even try to find out what is beyond the curtains.

So I gave all of those questions to mey family. The Freeport was loud for a day about those thingies, but I've received different answers for each of mey blood-drops. At the end I walked in the room of the brahmins and asked their advice. They told me that I should really stop asking them everything and start acting by myself since I'm already over 60. They said that the thing that I ,,lead,, our nation is more likely a shame than a privilege on my head, since at my age I should already retire and smoke wee.. Smoke holy matter with them all day instead of caring about the kinky souls of our kind.
Ahh and they said there is no thing like ,,order" that it is only an illusion or idea for something what is trieing to fight against the whole cloud, so no matter how far I move I wont see the pattern unless I realize the pattern is not what I want form it to be...I am still confused. But something has changed inside me when they said that nature or the thing what we call reality is only willing to fill the blank space with some joy, some fun or just some noise. It doesn't wish to create ,,Harmony,,. They said the life itself is based on Discordia and that if someone find his inner discord, and gets in a good relation with the black hole inside him, than he could become balanced in unbalance, Harmonic in Discord and can get rid of the Desire just buy accepting and living it with a smile on the mouth or a teardrop in the eye... How can I learn this all at my age?
But otherwise they answered to me. At this point I was sure there is no answer. Only different paths. But they still gave me answers. That confused me even more. But I already know that no matter how many paths are around me. No matter which one i choose. And that: all paths are righteous. All hail Discordia!
And that not all roads goes to Rome. But some of them will never even move toward it.

So here are the answers. No. I lied. Here are some answers. Not the good ones but answers. And as I said already: all of us hails Eris, even the youngest children. This is something what is written in our heart with blood. What makes us able to wait for another sunrise. All hails Discordia!

So here are the questions. We are ready for another five. OR more...

1: Give me two versions of the "Pentabarf". (Ancient and Contemporary.) You know the other one and now I have tha Holy page of the lost Book from the brahmins so now I know it as well. Copy-paste. Even if the last one says I must not believe in anything what I read... But hell. This second one is freaking weird. I received it from one of my grand-grandsons when I asked all of the children what they think of the ,,pentabarf" It was in his arm-watch. He just walked to me and showed it. I don't even understand it... but here is the rec. Pentabarf on a digiwatch.

2: If I were the Prophet "Hakim Bey", who would I really be? You. Lamborn. Me. Him. Dead. Wilson. Sad. And far from your machine. Prophet. Peter. I don't' know. Safe bay. Ancestor. Weis.

3: Which Prophet was "Emperor of the United States, and Protector of Mexico?
They said only his name: Joshua Abraham Norton and that he did what I should do. *shakes his head* I guess you are all right. At the end I will have to accept it as well, and sit down finally to let the word be. To let my people crawl around like they does. And accept that I've already declared myself to something bigger than the world and smaller than a single nano robots-left front c3 arm.


4: What is the answer to all obscure Discordian questions?
,,there is no Obscureness" (this is what they said). ,,Only a pillow and a box of matches, and possibly a last cigarette somewhere. But this third is not sure". But I think there are a few dozen pounds of glue. And that should be sweet since everyone licks it... Hopscuotch... Or five tons of butter-files. Who could really tell if the question is so confusing. Lemme guess: the answer is Cheese. Or just a single hit with backhand. Or Flaxscrip. Or some breathed out smoke. Anything plays.


5: What happened at Lake Totenkopf?
That. And you know it. They sais they are sorry. They had to fulfill what... The g... needed someone to tell how to make the dreams of the grenadiers and panzer-pilots comes true, so they showed them how to awake someone who is dreaming...Or long en someone's sleep...They said: they are not sure we are not there still. Can you imagine how close that is? That lake. Very. But what I think is that we can go free finally.. Even with the loss of myself. *lowers his head* I am sorry. And I must say: Thank you.

Ahh and I have the answers now for the previous questions. It was so evident and I failed so hard that I must lower my head and say that you were right givin me new ones and not accepting that blabla *nods*

We are still 'ere. And you can call us Samsarians.
Now I know what you meant to show me. I never knew that a non-tzi will show me the way of our brahmins...and that: no matter how old I am, I can still make a back flip if I try hard enough. And have nothing to worry about if I loose my,,self,, at half way doin' that...Thank ya for this lesson. So I will keep answering till you will have questions. I think I've already realized we are in the same cloud- it's just matter of time till I found the way how can i express my Anji...erm... PinealGland.


and here is a few corrected ones. Even if its only 3/5 still if we count with heavy-eyez. Or a MAximum of 3.33 what.




1) What is the "Eristic Principle"? The only thing what is dynamic. Chaos. Discordia. ,,Disorder,,

2) What is the "Aneristic Principle"? It's (apparent) Order. At least the illusion what people thinks about Truth. As we call it Maya. The great illusion. aka: LIES

3) What is the genealogy of the Discordian use of "Flaxscrip" as a form of legal tender? Illuminatus! Trilogy by Robert Shea and Robert Anton Wilson. A wannabe currency instead of real cashy, wannabe information holder instead of government released info. But still not had time to read everything about the issue- even if I msut say: hell if there would be somthingl ike that the sleeping giant should have to awake or it would be killed by his dream dwarves. hehe. Flaxscrip sounds good.

4) What is a "Trick Top Hat"? Present a treatise on which two branches of Science and/or Metaphysics it represents. It is still a mystery and it is still waiting for me to read...since I'm so damnt uninformed but still not old enough to read.
Or I'll just find tell mey boys to answer this properly instead of talking to me about weird things of where the cat goes in and come out. And what happens with paralell realitys while thats happening. I guess its somthign that if we dont sense that doesnt even exist for us. So everything Is subjective. ore with one word: Maya (or Flaxscrip). Erm. I think atleast.


5) List five Discordian non-Prophets. (Not including myself, of course.)
Omar Khayyam Ravenhurst, Zoroaster (at least Nietzsche),
Joshua A. Norton, Hakim Bey, St. Gulik (even if he is a bit weird somedays and keeps coming back from death), Robert A. Wilson,Hermes Trismegistos, our brahmins and dreamwalkers. and I guess Jezus- but he was misunderstood and ,,love each other,, came out of his fresh and New chaos-theory so I would listen for his Original thoughts not the neo-primitive crossism. And Im thinking about Mohamed still. c'mon a marauder-prophet cant be too bad face. Especially cause he learnt all languages so fast and had so many lovers. Oh ohh and one more, Shivas incarnations. Theye were all great rebels and path-breakers.



yours faithfully:
The Sukars of the Samsarians

[color=#6600CC]
{~ Transmission Terminated ~}
{~ Signal Lost ~}

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<span style="font-family:Microsoft Sans Serif">wtf is ~SamsarianS?</span> wth are [TAZ]?

[Malaclypse 666]

My Dear Brother,

Tell the Brahmins and the Children that they are all Popes.

You are the Greater Poop, or Pope, if you wish, sir.

Place the Sacred Chaospin transponder in thy Siggy.

Lay the Sacred FnordSkype signal on us.

Come let those kids loose in the Geode to play tag with the Scrubbies!

Five Tons of Flax!

Mal

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