// This story idea is a bit of an experiment for me. The idea is to allow me to explore the mindset and thinking of David Hale in greater depth. More of a writing excersize than anything else. The premise is as follows:
In 880 AS, some time after David Hale's death, notebooks were discovered by his family in his house. These were subsequently edited, commented on and published by Johan Markson. A friend of the Hale family and modern historian. Note, this is not set during the 'present day' sirius timeframe, but 60 years into Sirius' future.//
Introduction by Johan Markson
David Hale's time as Fleet Admiral of the Liberty Navy was long and illustrious. The war of the late 810's against Rheinland and Liberty's campaign in the borderworlds was largely masterminded by Hale and his high command. Their doctrine and strategic thinking was at the forefront of military thinking of it's era, and the Liberty navy became a far more streamlined and effective force during these years. Emphasising personal ability tempered with strong teamwork, Hale's command style was often regarded as being too informal by critics. However the results were deemed effective. His time as top-dog within the navy wasn't flawless however. Several highly controvertial policies and decisions often saw him facing the wrath of the LSF and the general public alike. Leniency in certain areas and an iron fist in others left some with the opinion that he acted in an arbitrary and somewhat random manner.
This volume, found after his death by David Hale's daughter Alice, gives a new insight into the workings of this influential man's mind. These highly personal writings were found, hand writen and stored in the attic space of his Los Angeles house, in a box of what were presumably treasured memories from his time in the navy's high command structure.
I have not presented these peices of writing in chronological order, however I have endeavored to contruct this book so as to allow the reader to understand Hale's thinking, starting with his reasoning for writing his thoughts down. Hale's thoughts, as with anyone else's move abruptly from subject to subject. One week one particular issue is important, and the next it is an entirely unrelated subject matter which was occupying his mind. I have also added some of my own commentary in places, partly to promote discussion and partly to outline events occuring in Hale's life at the time, which may have been contributing factors in his writing.
Some of Hale's writings have been removed prior to publication by the LSF on grounds of file classification. As a result I have been placed under a non disclosure agreement by the government with regards to certain details. I intend to respect this agreement entirely. Not through fear of legal retribution, but as an ex-naval officer myself, I am aware of the need for secrecy.
The hidden nature of elements of Hale's career is also reflected in his thoughts and mindset. He rarely spoke openly, and his opinion, be it political, social, economic, or personal wasn't something he shared with others easily. Few but his closest friends, many of whom I have spoken with during the course of my background research, are aware these writings existed prior to their publication, and fewer would have the slightest clue as to what is contained within.
David Hale's personal life, although speculated about in the press (much to his annoyance), was more often than not hidden from the public eye. While these writings don't often go into detail regarding his social life, they do show how he regarded the men and women under his command, and other friends and aquaintances he met during that time.
Quote:
"I don't want to be remembered for what I did, but for who I was.
Each and every one of you, although fighting for a cause greater
than yourself, shouldn't lose what sight of that which makes you
who you are."
~ David Hale addressing the class of 818 AS - West Point Military Academy.
I started noting down my thoughts in this manner with a specific intention in mind. I hope that doing so isn't self indulgent or ego-centric, but rather self exploratory and introspective. I suppose in many ways ego-centricity isn't so far removed from introspection, and self exploration is simply an outlet for self indulgent tendancies. I'd rather hope this isn't true of myself, but there is a part of me that suspects it is.
By allowing myself the ability to examine my own thoughts, I would like to think I can moderate them, and find some balance in my day to day actions. The act of writing is in itself a calming and relaxing experience. Something which allows the time to condense and distill the chaos which runs through a mind, and turn it into a more coherent and stable platform for action. While it is action that people judge, it's the thoughts behind it which make us what we are. The governing mysterious force of conciousness, of which science has not as yet revealed the mysteries, is a wonderful thing. Self awareness is what allows us to make moral choices, and place the experience of others into our own perspective.
Maybe through writing as I do, and reviewing myself through text, I'll be able to find a greater degree of that awareness, to move from self aware conciousness to a greater depth and understanding of the self. What is it that makes me think the way I do? What are the patterns, weaknesses, strengths, beauty and ugliness of myself?
Although not entirely related, I feel the act of writing, that is, putting pen to paper, is an important part of life which is being lost. We record so much of our lives through electronic means, that we have as a species, nearly forgotten how to write. There is no endurance in electronic data. It doesn't exist in any real sense. When technology moves on, how are we to read the experiences of those who have lived before us, and can perhaps give us understanding from a bygone era? We could take a 'minidisc' from ancient earth, and know that it contains data, audio, music, art, understanding and wisdom, but we would be unable to access it, as the technology used to create and read such primitive data-storage no longer exists.
The most enduring of writing was put down on paper, with ink. Great works of literature and music would have been lost to us were it not for the tangibility of a physical object with visable marks upon it's surface. Shakespeare's plays and sonnets, the wonderful music of Bach or Mozart, the iron-curtain angst of Kafka or the chaos and pain of Shostakovich's concertos, with all their beauty and honesty would have been lost were it not for a simple manuscript.
I would never place myself on a par with those creative masters, however I feel some duty to humanity in retaining the knowlege of how to write.
The following passage has been heavily edited due to file classification issues. However this was writen at the very height of the Rheinland/Liberty war, shortly after the Westfalen was captured by the Liberty Navy. One can presume that a good number of men or women under Hale's command had perished in the operation. Perhaps men and women he knew personally, or had commanded in the field himself.
Letters - 818 AS
There is someone who I recently met, a friend, who gave me a new perspective on this rather unfortunate element of my work. The loss of life in war is regretable, always, and something I find hard to reconcile with my own self image of being a protector. However I understand, as do most who join the Navy, that loss of life is unavoidable in defense of Liberty's people and values, or in defense of the rights of people outside Liberty. That intellectual position is what allows people such as myself to deal with the fact that through my actions many many people die on both sides of this conflict.
It is also deeply flawed. A trick you play on yourself to distance yourself from the issues it presents.
Any commanding officer will understand the trouble with writing 'the letters'. You tell the family that their son, daughter, wife, husband, brother, sister, mother, father, uncle or friend, died a hero in the service of his nation. That they fought bravely to the end and they sacrificed themselves so that others might live a free life. You lie.
Every soldier who has fought knows that in a battle you don't fight for an ideal, a flag, 'king and country' as the Bretonians might put it... You fight for your life. Nothing more. Those who die in battle don't die a heroic death. They die scared and lonely and thinking of their family, and they die knowing that their life was simply one in many. The rhetoric we use about defending rights, Liberty, an ideal and so on. That has no place in battle.
Each one of those letters is painful to write. You know there are no words that will help someone come to terms with the loss of a loved one, and nothing you can say which will bring them back to those that loved them. When I watched my brother's wife and my niece crying for the loss of Daniel, I realised this.
This short passage of writing seems extremely reactionary to the situation. With casualties high on both sides of the war, Hale is often quoted as regarding himself as failing in his duty to protect those under his command.
I have resigned myself to death, this year. To clarify, I have not chosen to die, but merely accepted the fact that with every passing moment, each of us is rushing headlong towards their own end. This has been highlighted to me in many ways of late. War has a tendancy of bringing the nature of mortality home.
The motivation for so many of our actions centers around the concept of losing the ability to act - of dying. Some days ago, I found myself close to death, feeling it's presense in the form of ballistic missiles from a Rheinland cruiser. It would have been an anti-climactic end. A pair of missiles, from the thousands I have avoided, and the few that have hit. Snuffing out a single existance in the blink of an eye. I dodged death not through my own abilities, but through luck, and the skill of others. Her ability, particularly. Her love? Maybe. I hope that is the case.
We went to protect the lives of the crew of a ship. A ship that was in Rheinland, with the intention of bringing death to others. Our method of protecting the lives of the crew from death, was to cause the deaths of our antagonists. Upon arrival, we began the process of killing, and this was reciprocated. You cause death to protect life, which was attempting to cause the deaths of those who threaten death upon others. Cyclical.
Each living soul sees things nobody else will see. A unique tapestry of experience and thought, which will never be replicated or repeated. I have known things nobody else will know, and seen things that nobody will see again. It becomes nothing, when the life-that-experienced ends. It all gets washed away, like tears in the rain.
How many lives have been cancelled-out on my command, or because of my actions? How many times have my guns been the rain? The numbers are beyond me now. But the fact that it is so very transient is what makes it so special.
She is sick. She, who I wish to grow old with, and who's life has run so close to mine, for what feels like eons at times, and a few intense minutes at others. Her mortality is as clear to me as my own. Perhaps it is easier to accept your own finale, than it is to accept that of someone else, particularly someone who is so close. What distinguishes her from the legions and masses? Only proximity, and that shared experience, known understanding, and the comfort of care. They are things never to be belittled or diminished in their importance, due to their personal nature.
Death is easy to accept. It exists everywhere we look, and is required for humanity's continued existance, for change, and for our existance to end before its quality is so poor that it ceases to be worth living. Loss is not as easy to come to terms with, however, without it as a counterpoint to that which we gain, would we ever truly appreciate that which we experience? I doubt it.
The following extract is far less personal than the one presented above. I seek to avoid giving the impression that Hale's mindset was dominated by personal concerns. Although the situation with the unnamed woman is one that weighs heavily on his mind, he appears to retain sight of what he viewed as the greater good. This extract is from a time period around the buildup to more open hostilities with Gallia.
Why we fight - early 819 AS
Despite my doubts regarding the multitude of wars we appear to be fighting, I believe that our involvement in them is a required and necessary evil. Oppressive imperialism, and despotic totalitarianism are clearly unaccepable.
Liberty, the nation I serve, is far from perfect. While we maintain ourselves as a republic, the power behind the vote is clearly wrapped in credits, and influence is gained by the grace of a large bank balance. I find this to be... Difficult to reconcile in many ways. The abuses commited in Liberty's name against Liberty's people are minor however, in comparison to those rendered under the leadership of men such as Kanzler Reinhardt whose enforced state religion laughably portrays him as a god, or King Charles DeFrance, a man hell bent on revenge for perceived wrongs commited over eight centuries ago, who's actions are not only crippling to Bretonia, but also to his own people, if The Council and Princess Alice DeFrance are to be believed.
These are injustices far larger than any state, and while I remain in a position to act against them, I will do so. People may wish to portray me as a patriot, however they would be mistaken. The flag is of no importance, except in gaining unity. For all Liberty's imperfections, there is no other nation in Sirius capable of making an impact on these abusive regimes, and that status and strength gives Liberty's government, and Liberty's armed forces a responsibilty not only to the welfare of Liberty's people, but to those living under Reinhardt or occupied by Gallia's considerable military.
That responsibility is not an easy one to bear, and to a certain extent seems like an arrogant position to take. Why is it Liberty's place and duty to act? What right have we to judge the actions of another nation? Difficult questions to answer, particularly when asked of and by yourself. However it is equally attrocious to observe human rights abuses and political repression by Rheinland, and the invasion of Bretonia by Gallia, and do nothing.
Some might be fighting for the flag and may see me as doing the same, but the only flag I wish to wave is that of humanity. The will and needs of the many refected in the actions of the few is important, necessary even. And while Liberty is not the shining example of political excellence, it stands head and shoulders above those with whom it fights.
With that knowledge I can allow myself to be seen as a patriot, if that's what is required.
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