The tiger knocked on my door today, which is weird because I took the door off to get the nuts a week ago. Maybe he just wanted some salt for his chicken. Anyways, I aint seen Jack for a couple of days, which is weird, but I aint complaining, that guy is creepy with a capital K. As for Pete, that bastard is gona get it. After I messed up his toilet, hes been building some big contraption up the hall. I think I'm gonna go to Deck D. Its too hot on B and animals keep flying past my door here....Damn Pete, its all his fault. I need someone to play chess with.
The catapult is almost complete, I just need several meters of yarn and a few sheets of tin-foil and I can begin testing ammunition! Tex sulked down the corridor earlier, I can just tell he's planning something... something big.
I'd have blasted down his door by now if I had enough yarn, and if he hadn't already removed the door a few days prior.
If the catapult doesn't work, I can always steal some of Jack's explosive powder stuff, that always makes people jump when it goes off. Tex will hate it...
Went up to deck B again to try and reason with Amy again. I found out why it's so hot up there. Someone took the aircon units apart and just left them lying on the floor. I thought about fixing it, but it would have cost me most of my savings to do it, and frankly it's just not my responsibility. By the time I got to the armory I was covered in sweat, and didn't have the strength to knock.
On another note, I just left Amy all 29 bottles of baby oil outside the door and crawled back to my quarters.
I pulled out the last case of rubber cement today. I invintoried it and there were 29 bottles missing. There will still be enough, Pete will rue the day. RUE THE DAY. I think I just heard the tiger.
Okay so the catapult fell apart when Jack stole the nuts holding the bolts in place, causing it to fall apart. This means I have to think of alternate ballistic weaponary for my in-corridor seige of Tex's quarters.
Also, the floor of my quarters seems to have liquified into some kind of rubbery metal-cement combo! Madness! Tex is responsible!
On a side note, someone left 30 or so bottles of unopened baby oil outside the armoury... Conspiracy?
Cooking tip #4: When in doubt, just remember that Pretzel the ADHD Jack Russell Terrier you accidentally got tricked into adopting is not a valid substitute for "Steak night". Speaking of which, someone needs to re-fur Pretzel, he's not going to be happy.
Cooking tip #5: Blood cannot replace red chilli powder. One is too metallic, the other results in gut wrenching arse explosions, two completely different feelings.
cooking tip #6: Did you know that if you cook tomato soup in a makeshift pan of rusted metal, you can experience a mild case of death?
So, I am not sure what Larry cooked last night, but I was on the toilet all day. Someone stole 29 of my furry rabbit dolls. I bet it was Pete, but thats ok because my plan is working, I can hear him wherever he is, he now makes a squishy, sticky sound when he walks. I think I may try it on the tiger. He has been getting closer. Closer.
The weekly meeting didn't go so well. Tex was saying something about a loose tiger on the lower decks, but I've not heard one, so it can't be there. I'll be on the lookout anyway, because they're dangerous. Amy didn't show up at all, which surprises me, and everyone was kinda blank when I asked why she wasn't there. They're keeping something from me I'm sure of it.
I tried to hack into Jack's personal computer console, but the handle on the fire axe broke before I got any useful information out of it, then I had to run off because I could hear him coming down the corridor.
Pete tramped a load of gooey crap all over the floor of my quarters. I'm pretty angry about this. I'll get him back.
Whoever thought it was a bright or funny idea to dunk Pretzel in a bucket full of iced tea is going to have their crotch introduced to my steel tipped boot. Gorram dog has so much hair he's like a damn sponge. Every time I wipe the floor clean, he walks a couple steps and leaks yet another litre or two of iced tea all over my damn kitchen floor.
Seriously. Either the guilty party confesses, or everyone will be fed poisoned talking parrot stew for supper tonight.
I cant find my parrot. I think the tiger got him. He used to fly around up on the Deck A, but I havent seen him in a while, but the tiger is talking to me with his voice. I went to talk to Amy about it, but she started shooting at me again. I dont know what up with her, but this whole thing is getting out of hand. On a different note, I checked my supply of Razmataz, and I seem to be missing 29 bottles. This is getting a bit weird. I bet Pete has something to do with it. I'll get that bastard. For some reason I want Peking Duck.
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