A Key Emergency

[Febreze]

*Smudge stormed over to the terminal, with a pleasing scratch on the display screen.*

"Now listen here little missy. I go day in day out 365 days a year constantly accompanied by one AI bitch that'll find flaws in a bloody flawless diamond! I don't have time for a second one! All I ask is that those doors, you see 'em?"

*Smudge pointed and the camera followed*

"Yeah them, I want them the opposite of what they are. I want them open, unblocking, out of the way. You know!" *He imitates the sound of a sliding electrical door and mimed it with his hands* "Bzzzssshhh. Like that! Okay! And while your at it send an email to the grandparents wishing them a happy birthday and reminding them that it's sunday, have my ship waxed, order me a beef chow mein, buy me a classic car and open every other set of doors between here and the bar. You hear?! You hear!!!! Godamnit I said do you hear! Praise the feckin lord do you hear! Because if you don't hear than you gosh darnit need your audio sensors changed and your mind wiped! In addi--"

*Smudge spun round*

"Dontchu come near me with that tazer Joey, I can hear it buzzing."

*Joey stood behind Smudge with his hands behind his back*

"So please, you creepy creation of cogs and wires, you breaker of hearts and starter of fires, you contraption of pain with a horrible name who I shall take so in vain! Open the doors or it is you I shall mame!"

*The terminal beeped and displayed a visual message*

-COMPUTER SAYS NO-

"Oh toss."

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