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r3vange · 11-27-2011, 11:29 PM,

[font=Monotype Corsiva][size=small]Yeah!!! Oh God....oh oh yeah! Yeah!!

"Do you like it?"

"Mhm....don...oh...don't stop"

"Cuuuuut! What in the name of the king's balls was that? It looks and sounds worse than snail sex on acid! Do it again.

The perfect clichÃ©d beginning; the director yelling at the mattress-actors in his own clichÃ©d moment of what he thought to be directing brilliance

"Alright, another one and Action"

" Mr. Viery? Mister Orsini wishes you best of luck in your journeys"
an ominous voice came out or the darkness glowing like a neon sign that disaster was about to happen

"The **** do you want? I said Action and when I say action everybody shuts up. Even God shuts up!

"Be sure to tell him"

And Rapture...the miracle... God's brilliant manifestation in the form of rapid fire from two machine guns raining free "see the purgatory" tickets on the set and everyone near it. Once the magazines went drier than a hooker on bachelors party and once the ears stopped ringing from the loud bangs all that was left a half-dead porno director and an intact but obnoxiously screaming naked blond girl just by her 'acting' partner who obviously felt generous and decided to share his brain with the floor...with a bit of external help of course. Almost god smacked by the high frequencies the porn diva could produce, the two men came out of the shadows. One went to the damsel in distress; the other tended to the half dead director and proved to himself that he was neither an optimist nor pessimist with a single gunshot. The director now wasn't half-dead not even half-alive he was simply completely scattered across the wooden floor. That in turn made the blonde scream even louder. Like a true gentleman the mysterious assailant kneeled down and embraced her

"Everything will be alright"

The biggest lie ever he could think of, but it didn't matter anyway. The gun told the truth for him in the form of a gunshot from directly underneath the chin straight through her brain effectively turning her head into something that looked like a very bad menstruation accident.

"Red is her color..."

***

A transition scene, twenty minutes in the future, badly cut and described even worse. The car was speeding down the elevated highway between the high rise skyscrapers, street and headlights merging into a glorious illuminating testament to human progress and forming a glowing tail for the cars to follow.

'Shame about the blond chick'

'Aw, having moral dilemmas now?' said the driver almost impressed by his own irony

'Riight, I was just thinking she was hot, you know'

'You know what, Enzo? You are absolutely hopeless, God must have been trippin' balls when he created you' said the driver laughing

'That's because he didn't, mom and dad did, though knowing them the tripping part is spot on. Anyway aren't you going to call Joel?'

The driver just nodded and got his phone out of his jacket and dialed the number

'Yeah, Jason is calling; can you give the phone to the boss? Hello Mr. Orsini, it's done'¦Mhm, no complications at all, alright. Thanks'

'What?' said Enzo while lighting a cigarette

'He said we did a good job, and we should go by his restaurant tomorrow to get our money. Any plans for the night by the way?'

Enzo smiled, but not just any smile- the kind that almost makes you smell the litters of alcohol due to be drunk, the packs of cigarettes smoked and the bad jokes about to be told

'What? You mean other than getting absolutely ****faced with my 'colleague' here?"

'That's my man'

The car stopped in front of the posh club as if it was almost anxious to get rid of its driver and passenger. Luckily no persuasion was necessary, the two men with booze in their eyes headed to the club's door, completely ignoring the angrily mumbling crowd queuing to get in. They didn't need to queue, they didn't need to pay either, a simple nod to the bouncers secured them premium entry.
Walking through the doors was like walking into a wonderland of sin, drugs and sex, the true life behind the faÃ§ade of the Parisian prosperity. Loud popular music blasting through the speakers acted as the catalyst for all the people fueled by alcohol and drugs on the dance floor, those sitting on the high chairs along the bar drinking and chatting awaiting the moment when chemical content in their minds overcomes their restrictions... Enzo and Jason sat in front of the bar, no words just a fist dropped down on the table and two glasses of whiskey sliding towards them, then another two, and another'¦and another. Out of the blurifying glory the liquid induced in their brains a real shard of brilliance in the form of a woman suddenly ripped the haze and sat right next to Enzo with that innocent yet completely fake act of not noticing them.

'Give this woman a drink, a strong one' Enzo said to the bartender then turned to the lady 'Hello there, my name is Enzo and I'm buying you a drink because I evidently want to take advantage of you'

This of course wasn't what she expected so her frown wasn't completely unexpected.

'And this works for you?' said the woman pushing the her just poured drink away

'No, it doesn't. That's why I use it in front of single sluts sitting next to two gentlemen enjoying their drinks, for no other reason than attention, so I figured you are either a prostitute or so desperate that I wouldn't dare sleeping with you'

After Enzo's dramatic monologue the lady got up and left resembling something between a raging bull and a ballistic missile

'You sure got your way with the birds don't you' said Jason staring in his drink in an attempt to convince it to down itself

'Nah, she was just as ugly as your mother, I have my standards you know. Are you drinking or trying to hypnotize your drink by the way?'

The following boozing turned out to be legendary, and no over metaphoric description could do in justice. Early in the morning Jason and Enzo finally decided to leave the club and struggling with gravity made their way out.

'Ah ****, we should call'¦the thing you call to get home'

'Taxi? Ye you call taxi I'm driving, I got stuffs to do, and them taxi drivers are dodgy, I'm telling you'

'Ha-hahaha, you are absolutely smashed man, you shouldn't be driving'

By the time Jason finished putting his words together Enzo was already in the car and yelled through the window

'I'm going to see her, if I don't come back I was eaten alive by a horny badger molester'¦'

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