lets give him time to include those suggestions he considers good - and work on the background / story a little - a lot of it can be explained with a nice story. ( and no, a story is no "excuse" for what you can use, a good story is the basis of what its ALL about )
once he comes up with a modified version ( cause thats the point of it ) we can work more on it - just look at the keepers, it took them a long long time to get where t hey are at the moment - and they had a lot more help and acceptance. and still people see flaws and critizise them ( with good reason often ) - but thats how it goes.
i d say - we have seen the raw version of what its about. something to build up on. once that version is worked on more, i am sure it ll explain itself. a lot of relationship issues will be cleared up "ingame" anyway or with forum roleplay posts.
this is only a suggestion to get the faction running. - it looks fine, and its hard to predict how it ll look once their members are roaming freely on the server - so its impossible to really tell if it works or not, but the structure of the faction looks fine.