Spring

[Dane Summers]

Dane struggled with pulling on another shirt over a thick longsleeve, trying to get it smoothed out. Hair still wet from the shower, the hot water had brought a lot of life back to his limbs. Heat always seemed to restore him. The slightest bit of cold sapped his strength, made him stiff, slow. Probably because of growing up in tropical weather on a beautiful world - a world of summer, all year long.

He walked out of the bathroom attached to his hospital room, with a mock whistle from Ashley accompanying him. "You clean up good!" She said, with a big smile. Dane, dressed in jeans that probably hadn't been washed in a while, wearing a t-shirt with its band merch logo long since faded, and it self longing for a clean - he just gave her a look that said yeah right before it broke into a smile of his own.

"Tch, yeah, good thing, I was gettin' pretty rank." He stretched his arms over his head, working the last of the stiffness from his joints. It felt good. There was still a slight chill to the air - Cambridge was going through its early spring cycle, and the snows had given way to rains. While his room had an excellent heating unit, he hadn't bothered to fiddle with it. Ashley was wearing a jacket over a button up blouse and t-shirt combo, with long thick jeans.

"Feel better?" She asked, looking him over.
"Yeah, I think so." He looked out the window at the morning, realizing he was incredibly hungry, and pretty thirsty. Fiddling with a few keys on an end table next to the window, he projected a small holographic menu for the hospital services, and eventually, its room-service menu.
"I'm hungry as hell, you want anything?"

"Yeah, I could eat, but not here, these kinda places charge too much - Probably find something cheaper in the city."

"Heh, yeah, true enough - probably better food too. Sigh, fine, I guess I'll just have to suffer so we can pinch a few pennies..." He added a bit of mock drama to his voice, and turned around to give her a look suggesting he was wilting from starvation. She just stuck her tongue out at him, and they both chuckled.

"You think they'll let you out of here?" She asked, serious again. Dane just nodded, closing down the menu. "They should, from what I gather, I'm here till I'm fine, which I guess I am."

"Why are you here, anyway? What happened?"

Dane's mouth opened to say, but caught himself - the story would naturally be a psychotic episode from years of repressed heartbreak, resulting in an emotional breakdown. Not incredibly flattering. Not something he really wanted her to know.

"It's ok Dane, you can tell me..."

He shut his mouth, took a deep breath...
"I kinda lost it. Guess I'd uh...been...I dunno...crazy or something. Forgot all that stuff...that happened with me and you. Ya know when I left, the navy?" She nodded "Yeah well, I left to get away from the bad memories. I guess I invented some weird thing about me not being able to sleep, only in space or something." He looked at her, trying to compose the rest, trying to see what her reaction was. Hoping it wasn't disgust, or hatred, or fear.
Instead it was thoughtful. "Ya know..." she said "Your sleeping problem...you didn't make that up."

"I didn't?"

"No, you haven't been able to sleep since...forever. Your dad got us a tour on the Yukon, and you fell asleep on the transport up, were sleepy the whole time, and dead-weight the whole ride back."

"Huh...I don't remember that..."

She just nodded and gave him a reassuring look. With a bit more confidence that he wasn't completely insane, he let out a breath and continued.

"But yeah...I forgot what happened. I guess I just...repressed it. I dunno. Something on Canaria made me homesick, and I just...started remembering it all again. That with everything happening with the station...I dunno, things get hazy. But I guess I lost it." He gave a weak shrug.
Truth was, he was embarrassed and scared by what happened. While he had been thinking about this whole time, now it started to really hit home. Dane always saw himself as kinda invincible, nothing had really fazed him. But the last week, and the month that preceded it, was hard to acknowledge. Even now, he wondered if he really was crazy...

He hadn't noticed that she had gotten up, till her hand was on his shoulder. The touch was comforting. It reminded him of the fact that...since he had left Los Angeles, he hadn't really had human contact with anyone. It was all ships, and comm boards, and air waves. A backslap, a fistbump, even a hug...how long had it been?

He took her hand and enveloped her in a hug. He didn't realize he was doing it, but honestly thought he'd worry about personal boundaries, and offended feelings later. He expected her to push him off, slap him, run from the room screaming. Instead he felt her arms wrap around him. This close, he smelled the perfume in her hair, and beneath it, the slight sweat of a long travel, It had been years since he smelled that scent. Lots of memories...

but for him, right now, it was the contact. To feel another persons warm body. It made him feel...not alone.
"I'm scared Ash..." he whispered in her ear. He didn't know why. He never wanted her to think he didn't always have things under control.
"Why?" He voice was also a whisper. This close, there was no need. For these few moments, they felt a hundred miles from anyone, no matter that a glass window and wooden door separated them from the world. This was the first time, ever, that Dane had let down his walls to her. Even when they were in love, he always projected what he wanted people to see.
"I'm scared that I'm crazy...that I lost my mind..."
He breathed in, and realized that he was gonna regret saying that...
Her arms squeezed tighter, and she whispered to him "You are crazy Dane, you always have been" her voice was soft, and she chuckled, letting him know that she was playing with him. In spite of himself, he smiled. "Your alright Dane. Everything is gonna be alright. I promise."

At this moment, at this time, he felt like the sun was rising on his life. He hadn't ever put it in those terms, but, really...the winter was over. The winter of his life, or at least, of recent events. The last few months. It meant that spring had come.

And in time...Summer.

---