Brakelatabasaasta Message Dump

[Zukeenee]

Comm ID: Brakelatabasaasta
Transmit to: Brakelatabasaasta

Words cannot express... I can't think... It's...

Well.

Once upon a time, in a star system called New York, there was a Brakelatabasaasta. His name was, surprisingly enough, Brakelatabasaasta. One day, he heard funny voices in his head. "Oh!" Said the Brakelatabasaasta, "It's my Keepy-friends! They've come back!" So, the Brakelatabasaasta took off in his itty-bitty Starblazer named Bert, and went on a quest. He searched high and low, and side-to-side, but the Brakelatabasaasta had no luck finding his Keepy-friends. This made him sad. He pleaded and pleaded for their guidance, but none came.

Then, like a magical plot device, a nice man came into the New York system and said that he would tell Brakelatabasaasta where his friends were... for a price. Brakelatabasaasta scraped together all of his pocket change and came up with the price that the nice man was asking. "The Pittsburgh Debris. Don't be followed," he said. The Brakelatabasaasta could hardly contain his happiness! Ever so sneakily, he made his way from Manhattan to the first tradelane. No one following. He flew in the whoosh-rings, and came upon the second lane. Still no one following. He came to Pittsburgh. The coast was still clear. So the Brakelatabasaasta began his trek into the dark, scary debris field.

But what's this? A contact! A Vorpman, coming in from the port side! "No!" thought the Brakelatabasaasta, "He'll ruin everything!" The Brakelatabasaasta made a sharp turn, hoping to lead the Vorpman away, but it was too late! The Vorpman had seen the Keepy-people, and was heading straight for them! "You were followed!" shouted the nice man. "The Keepers are angry. The deal's off."

Filled with apologies, the Brakelatabasaasta desperately followed in the blue, squishy wake of the Keepy-peoples, hoping to regain their friendship. But before the Brakelatabasaasta could make a sound, the Vorpman fired a missile! And another! And in the blink of an eye, Bert the Starblazer and his Brakelatabasaastian occupant were made a small addition to the already impressive debris field.

Only a few seconds later, the Brakelatabasaasta awoke in his dumpster-home on Manhattan (which often happens to him after he gets shot really badly), full of sadness, fear, shame, and, most of all, rage. The Vorpman. The Vorpman had ruined EVERYTHING. His one chance at finally meeting his bestest friends face-to-tentacle, and the Vorpman destroyed it all. The Vorpman would pay. He would feel the same, deep sadness that Brakelatabasaasta was now feeling. Death was too good for this... this man. This monster. The Vorpman would suffer, oh yes. Brakelatabasaasta would make sure of it.

VORPMAN WILL SUFFER.

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