Changes and Issues

[Doc Holliday]

Not so long ago, around February or so, I posted about how my wife and I lost a child which would have been our second. Even before that, I was diagnosed with depression so that only compounded it. The only thing that kept me going was the theater production on which I was working, "Exhibit This!" Well, it ended a few weeks ago and once it did, I found that dark, lonely place of depression getting deeper with my on going career issues and the like. It wasn't until I caught myself saying "maybe this would be a better world without me in it" did I finally decide I needed some help so I checked myself in for that help. I spend several days there.

Even though I'm back home, I still fight those demons, relying on my loving wife to guide me through. Between spending time with her, working two jobs and doing theater work, my online presence has been non-existant. I do apologize for that as I feel that I have abandoned my friends, fellow admins and TAZmaniacs. In fact, this is the first time I've logged in here for quite awhile.

I will get back. I just need some time to get my mind in order and to work on re-kindling my lost career. I'll only say that I am considering moving overseas to do this which will also get me away from the chaos which has gotten me to where I am now. Re-enlistment in the military is also an option but I prefer the first.

This is a great community, one that I have missed being a part of recently. I'm not ignoring people nor am I pushing anyone away. My feeling is simple. If I can't give you 100% then I'd rather give nothing. I'll try to be around more here.

Thanks for listening

-John

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