The Melencholy of Udo Ackermann: Episode IV

[Ironwatsas]

"Yay new AmeSlave!"

Perhaps it was an emasculation of being 'enslaved' by a creature only one third his own size or perhaps the fact that he was being ridden by a violently insane girl who was probably going to tear out his brain, but Udo felt all the more vulnerable in his current predicament.

[color=#3366FF]Artists Conception

He hadn't eaten in a number of days and was already having hunger pains, exacerbated by Ame hanging off of the back of his head and kicking him repeatedly to go faster.

[font=Comic Sans Ms]"Ich am hungry. Can Ich habe food?" He pleaded.

[font=Comic Sans Ms]"No YOU ARE FOOD!" Ame screamed, before proceeding to bite Udo's head with sharp AmeTeeth.

Udo panicked, the pain sending him into a flailing motion. "NEIN! NEIN! ICH AM NOT FOOD!"

It was fortunate that Ame quickly released him. If not for Udo's vainly flailing his arms at her.

"Eww, your head Greasy! TASTE BAD TO AmeAme." Ame Noted.

This was true, as Udo had not had a shower in a few days. An unfortunate side effect of being in a forest chased by monsters.

"Go find cleany-bath for clean AmeSlave! Gogogogo! HYAH!" She yelled, kicking him in the general direction of a nearby Lake.

"Why are you kickink me! Ich don't want to be an AmeSlave. Ich want go home?

"Home is now AmeShrine!"

Perhaps she was right, Udo thought. Perhaps it was his fate to be trapped in a Shrine. Perhaps Ame's ferociousness would drive away the other demons who wanted to eat him or freeze him into a popcicle. But Ame seemed quite unpredictable... she might eat him or just plain murder him!

Udo would otherwise have weighed the options and considered with his limited situational logic how best to proceed... if he hadn't just been pushed face-first into a lake.

"There is CleanyBath. Now GET CLEAN SO NOT SMELL BAD in AmeShrine later! It icky!" Ame said.

Immediately Ame proceeded to steal Udo's clothing in a swift motion (how she did this considering the disparity in size is worthy of note), throwing the now naked farmer back in the lake.

The water was cool, but somewhat refreshing to Udo's various 'boo-boos' and bite marks, and the buildup of grime and debris. Swimming away from Ame seemed like a wise idea, but his lack of clothing would probably just make it easier for others to kill him. Plus he was very embarrassed to be seen naked of course!

"CLEAN!"

Ame meanwhile had (somehow) acquired a long pole with a sponge on the end covered in soap and prodded Udo with it from shore. An amusing scene for anyone who would be watching (Indeed, there was a large mansion nearby and a flying Bird-Girl with a camera), as Udo attempted to atleast keep Ame from poking his eyes out.

"Okies that is clean! Now wear new clothing!"

As Udo slowly emerged from the moonlit lake, Ame threw him a towel and presented him his new clothing; a French Maid uniform.

"Zis ist strange! Ich am not a maid."

"LIES!"

"But Ich am only a farmer. Ich do not know how to clean things. Herr Karl always helped me clean!"

Herr Karl

Udo felt sad just thinking. Remembering those he left behind. Karl Kürbis, Wenzel Ranis, the Medic, and of course, Frau Eva Morgenrot. Although the lack of Scary Nurse Olga was a brief relief, this abomination in the form of Ame-chan may have just trumped her terror.

"Ich miss Herr Karl."

"Who Karl?" Ame asked, continuing to ride on Udo's head as he strode in his new Maid Gown toward the 'Ame Shrine'.

"He was mein friend in die LWB! Back on Darmstalt. Ve used to do everythink together. Tryink to free Stuttgart from Evil Synth Goods."

None of these words made any real sense to Ame-chan's silly little brain, but the name 'Synth' rung a bell. It reminded her of something.

"Was Food?"

"Ja, Synth goods took over Stuttgart so dey could put all farmers out of business. Und zen zey would take over all of Rheinland! Ich heard dere goo took over your brain und turned you into a wilde!"

"Wat?"

Shortly thereafter, the two arrived at the 'AmeShrine'. To any Kusarian, it would be a farmiliar affair. A traditional Shinto Shrine, with a small living space for the Kami or spirit. Surrounding the building, however, were a number of items Ame collected from the surrounding area, including some anachronistic looking weapons, various barrels and crates, a few piles of wood, a number of burning tires, and what seemed to be the twisted remains of an Anki class Freighter.

"Can Ich habe food now? Mein stomach hurts!"

"Okies! Will get food..."

Udo's eyes lit up in glee at this, the first pleasant thing he had heard from anyone around here in days. Perhaps this Ame-chan was merely acting the part, beneath her savage exterior beat a sympathetic heart...

"...but FIRST CLEAN AMESHRINE!" She yelled, throwing a broom directly at Udo's head.

Ame was mean.

The girl then receeded into her Shrine, locking Udo outside. He looked over the passive piles of detritus that Ame had piled up that he would obviously have to remove, and if this was the outside, what horrors awaited him within the Shrine's walls...

Poor Udo.

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All that begins must end.