Cum Igni et Tonitrui!

[Thunderer]

It was a fine day on planet New London. It was raining, as always, but not as heavily as most times. Deep in his warm house, Charles Richard Hall, a direct descendant of John Montagu, the 4th Earl of Sandwich, by mothers line, was making a sandwich. He didn't know why, but he just adored it.

At the same moment, about 42 light years and 1792 kilometers away, there was a battle in Leeds system, between the Bretonian Armed Forces and the newly arrived Gallic Royal Navy. Guns were thundering on all sides, ships were hit by terrible projectiles which could tear significant parts of whole planets away, hulls were creaking and the Bretonians appeared to be winning. They won, but at a cost - one of the old Dunkirks had old weaponry, armor and systems, so she couldn't stand the continuous fire from cutting-edge Gallic guns. She was heavily damaged and she had to be tugged to Southampton for repairs. There were 30 injured and 4 dead, among which was the captain himself.

In his warm house on planet New London, Charles was still making a sandwich. Suddenly, he dropped it. It was due to the unexpected opening of the door, which were opened by his wife, Elisabeth. Her face was in tears.

Elisabeth: Darling! Darling!

Crying, she fell into his hug.

Charles: What is it?
Elisabeth: Oh, please, don't go! Don't go!
Charles: Where?
Elisabeth: Didn't you read it?
Charles: What?
Elisabeth: The letter!
Charles: My dear, what are you talking about?
Elisabeth: The letter on your desk! It's from the Armed Forces!
Charles: Did you open my letter?
Elisabeth! No! It was opened already! Read it!
Charles: Alright.

*A few moments later*

Reading the letter, Charles frowns.

Elisabeth: They said that they need a captain for some battleship.
Charles: It looks like I won't make sandwiches any more.
Elisabeth: Oh, please, don't listen to them! Our children need us!
Charles: Our children already have their own children. I must go, it is obligatory. The best way to defend my family would be the direct one. Sorry, my dear. I don't want some fool to defend my home instead of me.
Elisabeth: And George, your youngest brother?
Charles: He will manage! He's 42 years old, for God's sake! (short pause) I must do this. It is my obligation towards the realm.
Elisabeth: (breathes in and out, calming down) Will you come back?
Charles: Of course I will! I love you all, I will come to visit you whenever I'm in the system!
Elisabeth: Write us!
Charles: I will write you every day! Good by, my dearest!

Charles prepares two suitcases, one for his stuff, and the other one with enormous stock of tea and sandwich ingredients. He takes his family's picture and leaves. Elisabeth wipes off her tears and brings up a smile. She will have to repair that plumbing on her own.

In fifteen minutes and four seconds, Charles arrived at Southampton. He was amazed. In the Thunderer, how the Dunkirk was christened, almost every pipe was leaking. He wanted to go back, but he changed his mind when he found out there is a whole room dedicated to tea and sandwiches. At the same time, he gaped. His brain was too busy with the picture of him, fixing the plumbing trough the whole ship, and him again, drinking tea and making sandwiches in a room dedicated specifically for that.

Charles: Does this ship have a crew?
Arthur McGregor, the first officer: Aye-aye, captain! One of the foinest in Bretonia!
Charles: Then let them show their skills by fixing the plumbing.
Arthur: (confused)
Charles: (gives him a grave look)
Arthur: Aye-aye, captain!

Charles walks in the direction of his tea room, carrying one of his suitcases.

*A few days later*

Charles: Lads, the deadline is in only a few hours. How is it going?
Construction Supervisor: Almost all is done! I just don't know how to fix that watering systems in the greenhouse, but the lads will manage! I hope...
Charles: Better that they do. Alrighty, it'd be good if I made a sandwich, or two while you're fixing it, to kill my time. When will they deliver that tea, do you know?
Construction Supervisor: Sorry, captain. You must ask the storekeeper for that.
Charles: Alright.

*A few hours later*

As they were totally ignorant, Charles was presenting his new invention called "sandwich" to a crowd of anciently dressed people. He was about to discover why, when his alarm clock rang. He woke up and assumed the plumbing repairs were over. Just to pester the crew if they didn't finish it, he pushed the button which activated the unbearably cold water, which should water the plants in the greenhouse. No screaming was heard. Charles smiled, got up and put on his ceremonial suit.

Charles: Alright, chaps, hear me out! I hope you have finished the work, because admiral Sir Firmus Piett is going to visit and value the ship.
Arthur: All done, me captain!
Charles: Splendid! Just on time! (pauses a bit, like he wants to remember something) Oh, and someone turn that water off in the greenhouse, would you?

*A bit later*

Charles enters the command bridge, along with another man. That man is admiral Sir Firmus Piett, the commander of Salisbury fleet and then still the commander of Bretonian Royal Fleet. He is carrying his infamous notebook and writing on it with his terrible pen. Charles is trying to make him write nothing terrible. He puts off his hat.

Charles: A nice ship for such a humble captain like me, what do you think, Sir?
Piett: (writes)
Charles: She was heavily damaged, but these diligent men have done their best, and she is ready for another battle! We even fixed the plumbing!
Piett: (writes more)
Charles: I don't know if you know, Sir, but we also have a tea room, and we've just got a delivery of tea! Would you like to join?
Piett: I don't think you do realize, but while we are talking here, the Gallic invaders are knocking on our doorstep in Leeds. Perhaps you may be of assistance there?
Charles: Roger. (to his crew) Chaps, you've fixed the cooling systems, right? Better if you did! Let's see what she can do. On your positions! Engines to the maximum! Full steam to Leeds!

Charles puts his hat on and lifts his head.

Charles: With flame and thunder!

The Thunderer speeds up and disappears an a flash of light.

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