Sarah Braun's double life

[Narcotic]

"The worst feature of this double consciousness is, that the two lives, of the understanding and of the soul, which we lead, really show very little relation to each other; never meet and measure each other: one prevails now, all buzz and din; and the other prevails then, all infinitude and paradise; and, with the progress of life, the two discover no greater disposition to reconcile themselves."

Some things do never change. Apparently not even years in the Military can influence one's character. I can't help it. Even when I was just a child, my mother always called me an emancipated rebel, when I refused to behave like a 'lady'. Society sets specific expectations for one's gender, there's nothing one can do. I can remember how my dad laughed at me, when I told him that my dream is it to follow in his footsteps as military officer. I hated the distribution between the sexes. Misogyny, inequalities and harassment became an indispensable part of rheinland womans daily lives. The government denied the obvious. And looking away was a common behaviour amongst average people. "Don't question the Gottkanzler." Was the painful slogan. We went along with it - what else should we have done? I wasn't eager on being declared as enemy of state like the Bundschuh or other criminal organisations and protesters. I remained silent, but deep inside my hatred grew steadily. And my second face was kept revealed. Ever since I am living a double life.

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