Claes Leslie, -Commanders Log

[Hidamari]

Entry #1049
Date: 18/12/819
Subject: What has happened?

Cretino, father believes I am somehow lying to him about the cryocontainer shipment being lost. I already told him id have the Oocyte operation but its nothing to do with me that the materials that would have been used to store my cells were destroyed before reaching malta.

So i didnt seem to care an awful lot about the loss? doesnt mean I wasnt going to stick to my end of the agreement. Now hes pissed of course and its all my fault again, my sisters constantly say i shouldnt be speaking to "papa" like that, but he better watch himself or else he may find I wont be able to speak to him much longer.

If you get what I mean..
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Entry #1050
Date: 20/12/819
Subject: Calm?

father seemed strangely calm today, im not really sure what is the matter with him, but he didnt get angry even once today at the poker table, and hes such a sore loser too.

Helped some of the boys collect payments from the local farms, nothing at all interesting, I wonder how everyone in space is doing, they better be working hard..

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Entry #1051
Date: 22/12/819
Subject: Garage

Sat with Jose in the manor garage today. Just talked about space, some of the battles with gas miners, corsairs and rock miners, he loves all that stuff, I told him about La falange D'oro and he was amazed, said hed love to come and see it some time,

I think i'd like that too..

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Entry #1053
Date: 20/12/819
Subject: [no subject]

I dont know what just happened.... I think i was attacked, but i cant be certain, im writing this now because being here for so long may be driving me crazy with boredem.

I was laying on my bed, father was still as calm as a ever. But i heard strange footsteps, I cant describe it, you know how peoples footsteps make them identifiable before they are even seen? well these were not any footsteps i recognised, so obviously I got up to see who it was that was lurking around.

I felt a sharp jolt and everything went dark, or at least i think it did, because i cant find any evidence that this happened to me. I woke up and i was still laying on my bed, and my pistol was still where i left it, there were no footsteps to be heard or foot prints to be found. I checked my body up and down, and I had no bruises or signs of anything else for that matter.

So, im just confused, that was the most realistic dream ive ever had, but i wonder what it actually means?

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Entry #1054
Date: 25/12/819
Subject: Back to his old self

The past five days have been a little dull, I want to go back to space again but everytime i do Mama convinces me to stay longer. and for some reason now so are my sisters too, since when did they care?

Well father is back to his usual self again, I beat him 4 times in a row at Poker, 21 and Old maid. He practically tried to kill me when I asked if he wanted to play 52 card pickup instead to make it easier. he couldnt even if he tried though which is even more embarrssing for him, I made a good 50 million from him that afternoon, not bad if i do say so myself. should go a little ways to paying for La Falange D'oro to be finished.

I wonder if Camilla has everything under control... she is always so wishy washy, more concerned about her beauty that anything else..

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Entry #1054
Date: 10/01/820
Subject: Paella??

I dont know why but i have had a craving for paella these past few days, admittedly things have been so dull around here that i've not even been bothered to write anything down, even new years eve was dull, though I was too drunk to remember most of it.

Paella is delicious, I don't remember it being this nice... maybe i was too young to appreciate it or something.

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Entry #1058
Date: 11/01/820
Subject: Forget what I said in the last entry... ugh

puking my guts out this morning... I dont understand it, there was nothing wrong with the food, my sisters ate the same as me, okay maybe not as much as me but still.. maybe I overindulged.. cazzo.

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Entry #1061
Date: 14/01/820
Subject: Sick..

madre di dios ive thrown up before but nothing like that... biblical proportions, I didn't even know I could have eaten so much food, why do i have to wake up to something so vile, its been on and off the past few days and I dont know what ive eaten to make it like this, Mama swore it wasn't the chef trying to poison us.

I want to go back to space, I told mama that I wouldn't be staying here much longer, no matter what kind of persuasion she tried.

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Entry #1055
Date: 23/03/820
Subject: [No Subject]

what to say... im sat holding the test and its positive... Im shaking, I know soon I will lose it... I will snap and what will happen then I dont know. Im pregnant. Ive been raped. When? how did it happen? it must have happened last month, that time when... when I thought I was dreaming.

How did I let it get this far along? Who was it?... it could be anyone, I don't know... most of the Manor guard is male, naturally... what I do know is Mama.. mama must have known, once i saw those baby garments I knew something was very wrong, it was like a bolt of lightning down my mind, I just knew... my stomach turned and my throat became dry, I began to sweat at the thought of what could only be the only possible conclusion from everything happening over the last few weeks... I have to go...

im taking my gun and knife.. somebody will pay for this....

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Entry #1056
Date: 23/03/820
Subject: [No Subject]

Its over... they are all dead, my hands are still shaking, im so angry but theres nobody left to take it out on, nobody left to suspect.. besides Jose, but I hadnt the heart to kill him, I knew he wouldnt be in on it... or, what I mean is, I couldnt bring myself to kill him in the end, I hoped to god that he wasnt involved and he assured me that he didnt know.

Everyone but Jose and myself knew about it. I... i need to put this book down, im covered in bruises, and blood, my hair is matted, soaked. and my clothes stained red. I need time to think, nobody double crosses me.. fathers manor is silent now.. mama and my sisters paid for crossing me, hung like Pinata... as did father... they all did, they wont cross me again..

I, need to contact Camilla... I need to leave this place. i never belonged here.

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