[Incoming Transmission]
[Origin: Gran Canaria]
[Addressed To: All ya'll sons of bitches]
Gentlemen, I urge you to allow me to leave this place. I have delicate information that I MUST share with the world. Let me explain. I'm a reporter, and I was contracted to record and commentate on the various war zones occupying this planet. That's when I found her. The mythical "Valkyrie", strutting the city past daylight hours. I know how much a good paparazzi shot is worth nowadays on a character like that, so I followed her.
Anyway, we all know what happened next, thanks to Pepe "El Comisario" Ladron. I've got it all recorded, I promise you, and I guarantee this video is worth a fortune. I will gladly share my riches with whoever safely escorts me off of this living hell. Until then, I remain anonymous.
