Liberty Police, Inc. Reporting Office

[Jonas Valent]

After my morning trip to Sunbucks I reported to the flight deck for duty. I look around the dock for my Liberator.

"Your Liberator is still down for repairs." the Chief Engineer yells to me. "The flux capacitor is still out of alignment."

"Hmmmm" I thought to myself. " I don't remember any flux capacitor on board my ship. That doesn't even sound like a real part."

I shake off the thought and walked down to the fighter deck to find another ship for today's patrol. I see the four Raven's Talon Prototype Fighters sitting off away from the rest of the ships. They are spotless having just been through a major overhaul. They bristle with the most advanced weaponry in LPI and are equipped for any situation. I check them out and see they are prepped for flight. I look around and see no one.

"Well, These are SWAT ships and I am a SWAT member. I don't think anyone would mind me borrowing one of them."

I hopped into the cockpit of Ravens.Wing.2 and launched into space. I push the fighter to its limits inside Illinois and then jumped into Colorado where I start my patrol.I encountered no hostiles in this system. I then went through the jump hole into New York looking for any unlawfuls. Finding none I patrolled the trade lanes and then jumped to California. While I was scouting near the jump gate to Magellan, I received a report from Fort Bush of a pirate call sign SilverOcelot at the Pennsylvania Jump Gate in NY.

I searched throughout New York with no sign of him on TLAGSNET. I finally caught sight of him at the Colorado gate and followed him through. After the jump I engaged this pirate. He was however a formidable opponent and after a fierce battle my fighter was destroyed and I was forced to eject my pod.

I floated through space for a several days before a USI trader spotted me and picked me up. I returned back to Police Plaza and was immediately escorted to a room full of angry Deputy Chiefs. One of them approached me and with a very sarcastic tone said,

"Congratulations, Young man. You just destroyed one of our most advanced fighters. Do you have any idea how much that ship cost?"

"Probably less then you spend on donuts, Sir." I replied and watched the Deputy Chief swell with rage.

"What!!!! How dare you insult a ranking LPI officer. I am gonna find the worst punishment possible for you after that remark."

He glares at me and notices my considerable girth caused by many years of coffee and donuts and thinks for a moment. He then slowly smiles and says,

"I know just how to punish you. He walks over towards the door and shouts.

"Secretary, Cancel this man's Sunbucks privileges!"

"Noooooooooooooooo, Please Not my Sunbucks" I screamed.

"Please", I beg. "Can't you just taze me instead?"