Into Darkness

[Julia]

Infirmary

Eventually I woke up again. I had no idea how much time had passed but it looked like it worked. I found myself inside the infirmary. There was just one thing that I didn’t expect… my hands were bound to the bed rails. I looked around but couldn’t see much besides the white partitioning curtain that was blocking the view to the other beds.

A few minutes later a nurse stepped through the white partitioning curtain and smiled softly, but had a concerned expression.
“I was worried about you.” The nurse said. “A few more minutes and it would have been too late for you.”
I didn’t reply to the nurse, I was more surprised that I recognized the face of her. It was the nurse that watched me earlier in the canteen.
“I bet you are not going to tell me the reason for… that.” The nurse said and pointed towards my wrist that had bandages wrapped around it.
“What would it change?” I asked her and looked at my wrist. It was starting to sting now that I was thinking about it.
“Look, I just want to help.” The nurse replied with a frown.
“Help? Who said I needed your help. If you want to help me, you can remove these things. Why was I restrained in the first place anyway?” I asked in a more stern tone.
“For your own protection, of course. We thought you would just hurt yourself again.” She replied with this concerned look again. Why the hell was she even concerned about it. Since when did they care about the orphans.
“Why would you care about it? Isn’t it your profession to hurt us? You guys enjoy it by far too much. God damn, I am not even allowed to hold the hands of someone!” I protested in a loud and stern tone.
“We… I… I don’t hurt anyone. Why would you say that?” The nurse replied with a terrified look.
“I know what you guys did with the pregnant woman. You took her baby!” I began shouting at her now.
“Psstt… not so loud. Listen, there are rules within this orphanage. Orphans aren’t allowed to have any sexual intercourse with each other and that includes giving birth as well.” She began explaining.
“How do you know about it anyways? You can get into trouble if anyone finds out about it. Really, you shouldn’t tell anyone about it.” The nurse suggested me additionally.
I let out a sigh and turned my head around. I really wasn’t in the mood to discuss this any further as it didn’t help myself or anyone anyway.
“You have problems with this girl, don’t you?” The nurse asked me.
“Mellanie? What? How do you know about that? It’s none of your business!” I shouted back at her, how dare her to even mention her name.
“Sorry… it’s just what I have noticed. If you want, I could talk with her.” She suggested me with a frown.
“Don’t you dare to lay a hand on her!” I shouted back at her and tried to pull on the restrains, but without any success.
“It really would be helpful if you’d stop treating me like a monster.” She replied with a sigh and left through the white partitioning curtain again. I bet this was it now. She was going to hurt her and it was my entire fault. I am such a failure…


I had my eyes closed as Mellanie stepped through the partitioning curtain, actually pretending to be sleeping.
"Anne?" Mellanie whispered while she moved to the side of the bed, carefully scanning me for any injuries, and seeing the bandage on my wrists soon enough.
"M-Mellanie? You're... alive? Are you hurt?" I asked surprised, seemingly being glad about her being here. I was really sure that they had hurt her. Maybe I could trust the nurse after all.
"I'm fine... the nurse just told me what happened." She replied quietly, sounding concerned while giving a crooked smile.
"Does that mean you don't hate me?" I asked with a frown, sulking slightly.
"Why would I hate you?" She asked with a soft voice.
"I-I don't know... I thought you hated me for... for doing these things, even though I promised you not to do them. I lied to you..." I replied and began to cry.
"Don't cry... it's alright..." She said quietly, moving closer to me to move the back of her hand slowly over my cheek to wipe a tear away.
"B-but..." I continued to cry and leaned closer to Mellanie, as far as the restrains allowed me to.
“Look... I think there is something going on, but I'm just scared to find out..." She whispered, not wanting anyone to hear besides me.
"N-now you agree with me? Why now? I was telling you all the time!" I replied slightly louder.
“I'll tell you when you're out okay? You have to save your strength..." She whispered quietly.
"S-save my strength... What did the nurse do to you? What happened that you're suddenly... like this?" I asked quietly, thinking they hurt her after all as her sudden change and her willingness was strange, to say the least.
"You tried to kill yourself... to prove this... c'mon Anne... jus- just please, rest and we'll talk later, please?" Mellanie begged.
"I didn't try to kill myself... I would never... I-I can't. I just... I just thought I could get to this place when I do that and perhaps find out more about the pregnant woman." I replied nervously as if I thought I had disappointed Mellanie. I was too stubborn to realize that I almost had killed myself.
"Should've just acted sick... I mean... you really almost died Anne." She said in a concerned whisper.
"I-I am so sorry... I... I didn't know... I was blind. I just wanted to find a way to end all of this, so that we could be together in a fine place, away from this hell. We don't belong here, Mel." I said with a sad expression. I was so desperate, it was clear that I have ruined it all.
"You've only been here for a few days, you barely know anything about this place, but you're right, we don't belong here, but you really shouldn't rush things like you did, it almost got you killed." She replied quietly and concerned still.
"Y-yes... you are right... I almost abandoned you. I could have never forgiven myself. P-please, forgive me!" I said in a begging tone, my expression was still sad and I obviously needed Mellanie's closeness as I was trying to pull on the restrains to get closer.
"I forgive you.” She whispered, moving closer to give me a soft hug.
"T-thank you... You mean so much to me." I replied, clearly wanting to return the hug, but not being able to due to the restrains. It was causing me almost to cry again.
"Ssshh... just be quiet, everything will be alright soon." She replied quietly while staying close, having her arms wrapped around me.
"I... I don't trust this nurse. You should be careful." I whispered while we stayed some time longer like this.
"Just don't let them know what you already know okay?" She asked carefully.
"About the... woman?" I asked just to be sure. "I guess... it would make sense. Okay, I promise. For real this time!" I replied confidentially, taking it seriously this time.
"Okay..." She whispered, stroking through my hair briefly.
"Now go to sleep again, you look pale." She added softly.
“Will you visit me tomorrow?" I asked with a sad expression, not wanting to be away from her.
"If I can." She replied quietly.
"Take care... and thank you so much. I thought I had lost you forever now." I said with a cheerful smile, being quite happy about the visit and the way Mellanie was treating me.
"Sleep well." She whispered, before slowly backing off.
I watched Mellanie backing off until she was behind the white partitioning curtain again, after that I tried to get some sleep. I didn't have much choice in my current position anyway.