Into Darkness

[Julia]

Helpless

Sometime later in the night, the very first night I was spending in the infirmary, there suddenly was a young girl brought into the room, obviously screaming and struggling against two men, judging by the voices and the shades I could see under the white partitioning curtain. The girl was brought right next to me on the bed; merely the white partitioning curtain was what kept me from watching the scene. What the heck was happening there? What were they doing to this poor girl?

Shortly after, the girl's screams eased up and the men made their way out of the infirmary again. I just hope the girl was still alive... perhaps they gave her something to calm her down. There was really nothing I could do. I was still restrained and furthermore I promised Mellanie not to try anything stupid that I might regret afterward.

Meanwhile I was wondering for how long I had to be restrained like this on the bed. I had no clue, but I hoped it wasn't for that long. I was getting desperate to be trapped like this... all I could hope for was that Mellanie perhaps would find a way to help me out.


"Morning." Mellanie said to me early in the morning. I wasn't really sleeping deep and I woke up rather fast when I heard Mellanie's voice.
"Morning, Mel." I said with dreamy eyes.
"Sorry that I woke you up, thought you were already awake." She replied quietly while she moved to the side of the bed.
"Couldn't really sleep well anyway... don't worry about it." I said with a smile.
"Neither could I, I was worried about you." She replied quietly.
"I am fine; you don't have to worry about me. I made a promise to you and I will hold on to that." I said and breathed out, flashing a smile.
"How are your wrists?" She asked quietly, and looked down at the bandage that was still around them.
"It still stings..." I replied honestly, frowning slightly.
"Did you see the girl there?" I asked, obviously wanting to change the topic.
"She went a little crazy last night in the hallway..." Mellanie replied crooked.
"That poor thing..." I said with a frown, obviously having sympathy with the little girl.
"Guess they calmed her down." She mumbled.
"Don't let it get to you too much though." She added.
"I... I won't... it just sucks that I can't do anything to help..." I said with a sigh and pulled slightly on the retrains.
"You can, just not now." She replied quietly.
"Yeah... you don't happen to know how long I have to stay here?" I asked with a sad expression, wanting to get out of there already.
"Couple of days I guess, until they are sure about you acting sane again." She replied carefully.
"I am... very sane." I said with a small grin and lowered my head in a disappointed way.
"I know that, but they don't think so, so you'll have to convince them." She replied quietly.
"And how?" I asked with a frown. I wasn't really good at convincing anyone so far.
"Be yourself, act normal and willing to live I suppose. Perhaps try to ask when you can go back to school or something." She replied with a soft smile.
"A-alright... what about you?" I asked concerned.
"I'm fine... will miss you at class though." She replied with a soft smile.
"Hah, I doubt I am much of a help there! All I can do is talking with you." I said with a grin and a soft giggle.
"You will still learn a lot when you follow class, always useful for later." She replied.
“Hm, sure. If only the stuff that's being said wouldn't go into one ear and right out of the other." I joked.
"That's why you will be making notes, together with me, and we'll study together, or at least I will help you with your homework." She said with a smile.
"Once I am out of here... in the meantime you will be taking notes for me?" I asked with a smile.
"Well... we have different lessons, because you're two grades below me. Think they will explain everything the next time you're back. So don't worry about it." She replied.
"Hmp... providing I ever manage to get out of here." I said with a sigh.
"You will... I promise." She said confident.
"You have really... changed a lot in no time." I said with a surprised look.
"Perhaps because you helped yourself in the hospital and are sorry?" She asked with a raised eyebrow.
"I am sorry..." I sighed and lowered my head.
"Found out anything about the nurse yet?" I whispered quietly, not wanting the nurse to hear it.
"Haven't found out anything, but it needs time." She replied.
"I don't trust her... it still... smells like a trap. Be careful, okay?" I said with a hint of suspicion about the nurse.
"Try to keep all those thoughts and we will make notes later so that we can think on what to do, okay?" She asked.
"O-okay... I am rushing things again, aren't I?" I asked with a frown.
"You are." Mellanie said, unable to help herself and giggled a little.
"Jeez..." I said and giggled together with Mellanie. "Will you visit me tomorrow again?"
"Will visit you as much as I can, nothing else to do besides school anyway." She replied with a smile.
"Alright… Thank you, really. I don’t think I could survive this without your support." I said with a sigh and closed my eyes.
"You should get some sleep now." She said and backed off from my bed.
“You’re probably right.” I replied with a chuckle. “Not much I can do anyway except for sleeping.”
“Sleep well.” Mellanie replied with a giggle.

Weeks have passed and I have felt like I was losing myself in the infirmary. Every single day was a new suffering; each dream was a new experience. Every day they were getting darker, but yet, there was single bright light in the distance that helped me not to lose my sanity... my will, to carry on. And that was Mellanie.

If it wasn't for Mellanie, I would have given up any hope. But she was there for me, every single day. She spent all her free time with me, whenever she could. I just couldn't see her as a simple friend anymore. She was more, much much more. I was close to see her as an angel, who came to defeat the darkness within me. Every single time I saw her approaching me, my heart felt like it skipped a beat. It was clear that I was feeling more for her than I made it obvious. And yet, I didn't have the strength... the courage to confront her about my feelings. I was so afraid that I would lose her if I said a wrong thing. Without her I would probably end up like all the other orphans, suffocating under the dark embrace, slowly but steadily losing my sanity until I was nothing more but a shell without any emotions. No. This was not going to be my fate, not as long as I have still a will.

Now, there was only one thing that still bugged me. It was this nurse. Her name was Mary, by what Mellanie had told me. I didn't trust her, yet... I think Mellanie trusted her. I just couldn't believe why she would risk her job... or even worse, her life for two girls she didn't even knew. It didn't make sense to me. Despite my doubts, something was telling me that she was going to play an important role in this place, whether to be it for good or for bad. I suppose, we were going to find it out sooner or later.