Tales of the Admins

[Garrett Jax]

The situation was serious. The entire staff of A.D.M.I.N.S. assembled together to deal with the looming crises before them. The consequences of many recent decisions piled up, one after another, until finally the entire fabric of space and time was in jeopardy of irreparable harm.

Garrett Jax pounded his fists upon the table in rage. “This is unacceptable,” he shouted. “My fellow admins, look at what we have done.”

He pointed to a giant monitor hanging on the wall. The monitor displayed the names and comments of countless ‘members’ of the community. Lesser life forms, they were, incapable of rationale thought. Apparently, they gathered together in herd like mentality to express themselves concerning their miserable state of affairs. Anger, tears and sarcasm permeated their every word. For the Admins, there was nothing more enjoyable than hearing the cries of anguish from these lesser ones.

Garrett pressed a button on the table and a comment was highlighted. “Look at this,” he said, drawing the attention of the others. “Do you know what this is? This is a comment by one of the members of the community actually expressing appreciation for a recent decision made by the Staff here.”

Gasps were audible from among the Admins.

Garrett continued. “And this isn’t the only one. There are dozens of these posts scattered about, all saying ‘Thank you’ to the Admins.”

Murmurs and discontent spread throughout the room as the Staff quickly absorbed what all this meant for them.

“That isn’t even the worst of it,” Garrett said. Silence overtook the room. “The worst part of this whole thing is: Some are beginning to think that we are actually LISTENING to them.”

One of the Admins nearly stumbled over in shock. One spilled his coffee all over himself and swore loudly. Yet another went over to a Moderator and kicked him for no good reason. All of them began arguing with one another on how to resolve this grievous concern.

One Admin spoke up. “We still have the Final Nail threat, don’t we?

“Final Nail?” Garrett scoffed. He pointed again to the giant monitor. “You know what these plebs are saying about the Final Nail now? They are making a joke of it. The Final Nail—Armageddon, and they are just laughing it away as if it were nothing.”

Threats and screams filled the room. This was an outrage. Everything had turned upside down. An Admin went over and gave the Moderator another swift kick. His cries of pain had the same effect as Synthesized Weed, calming everyone down for a moment.

Garrett took advantage of the silence to raise a question. “What are we going to do to rectify this matter?”

From above the din of chaotic deliberations, a few words were heard above all others. Update Six, Phantoms, Server Lag.

After several minutes, Garrett finally spoke. “Okay, I think we have some solid ideas here to fix this situation. We need to be careful on whatever we decide. This trend of happiness cannot be allowed to continue. Let’s all get out there and bring the pain.”

With that, the Admins left the room. Each one, kicking the Moderator as they walked out.

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