To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ

[Tunicle]

FOOLISH MORTALS!!!!
You rang? Well at least I can qualify in the singular, hopefully someone else will post to give the plural.

A wonderful privilege is being extended to you on behalf of the Staff. Due to the inadequate supply of kicking targets, otherwise known as Moderators, we are hereby extending an opportunity to apply for this position.
I would humbly request being considered for this esteemed privilege, kicking is not a problem, thumping is acceptable and mild stabbing also tolerated.

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff? We need janitors and maintenance people, not people with god complexes. Those are Admins.
I wield a mean mop, can position a screwdriver, use a monkey wrench and have never lost a key, together with experience of this position in prior dimensions, thus feeling competent.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?
Daily in space and more frequently in forumland, a quick IP check would supply credentials.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?
Not only install but can grind the beans and show you my barista certificates if needed.

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?
Rhino strengthy with added duct tape layer.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done? Do not have favorites, miserable to all in equal measures.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?
Not only can I put them together but they function as a tractor afterwards.

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence? As a recluse I talk to few so unlikely to divulge anything confidential.

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