To: All Mortals wishing to become Moderator From: A.D.M.I.N. HQ

[Remnant]

*Transmission Incoming*
ID: James McCormick
Recipient:A.D.M.I.N HQ
Encryption: Encryption? Eh?
Message Begins

Speak of rude awakenings! I get out of bed, and my console is flashing red lights. Sorta like a rave party, ya know? However slightly cooler. Because rave parties are boring nowadays. Needs more engine exhaust, don't 'cha think?

So I check the amusing piece of equipment after admiring it for a few minutes, and I see a list of questions from some dude who 'obviously' has a god complex. Most likely the one reading this. You. Yes you. The on- not you, the one behin-.. Ah, who am I kidding. I can't see crap on this screen which reads 'recording' right now.

I'm just gona.. respond to these for the giggles. Numbero one..

Do you feel you have what it takes to become part of the Staff?

Well, it depends on which part of a staff you are talking about. The grip is always a nice place, since that is where you hold the sta-.. waitaminute, auto-define popped up. That's slightly embarrising.

Do I have what it takes to be on the staff. Well, I do pay attention to things. Especially things which stand out like rave parties, don't lose any sleep on that one. I do quite a good job if I don't say myself. As for maitnance people, sure I can press the delete key on stuff. Clean pipes, mop floors, bug the heck outa people.. The list goes on for days.

Do you have the time to perform the duties? If so, how much?

Of course I have time to lurk around being the lazy person I am. I mean heck, this Freeport doesn't stay roudy without me. Popping in on people while they drink is a delightful past-time of my own. Ah the irritance that brings in, beauty to my ears.

As for how much? I usually run around doin' that for about four or five hours a day keeping an eye on things if not longer. That's of course if the rare stuff pops up where I must take a leave to the horrid outside world from this console. Never lasts long. Merely a week or so of a mere hour of bugging the others.

Can you install a Sunbucks coffee machine?

Ohoho, now that is a 'great' question. Letme tell you a story..

Once upon a time, we bought a Sunbucks coffee machine for my favorite bar at the Freeport. Well, that thing broke down. So I grabbed some credits, and bought a coffee machine four times more expensive. Took that thing apart, chucked half of the crap outside the airlocks, and repaired the current one with a lot of duct tape. I must be a genius. Stuff tastes slightly of motor oil, dunno where that came from. I'll buy another really expensive one to fix that one as well later.

Oh, I must be a professional without realizing it.

Do you have a thick skin in order to withstand the pain when Admins kick you?

What do you take me for, a wimp? Well.. Perhaps a few years ago that would indeed be true, however I have managed to outrun everyone else when they get angry at me. Ooh believe me, they indeed do just that. I guess people don't appreciate it when you creep them out while they drink their beer.

I lead a good life.

Can you put aside favoritism toward your favorite mortals in order to assure justice is done?

Favorite people? Are you kidding? They are the most amusing to watch as justice is pushed out on them. You would not 'believe' the completely and real accurate judgement of the LPI has been pushed upon a few people I know. I laughed for quite a long time on those occasions.

Eh.. They weren't happy with me afterwards, but what the heck can I say.

Can you put together the parts for a tractor?

What's a.. tractor? I mean, I can take apart a space-ship if you asked me too. Putting it together? Well... Yes? I can hire someone else to do it for me, and take the credit. Sounds good to me.

You may become knowledgeable of Admin conspir[A]cies. Can you keep confidence?

Why on earth would I tell people of things that 'I', the great James McCormick with no ends to his pleasure share things which would be considered a conspiracy? As tempting as it would be, i'm sure I could hold out for an infinite amount of time. Of course, as long as a good drink is provided at a bar now and then.

I have high expectations.

McCormick Out