You got a donut?

[StarButt]

Harry Buttham, known to his friends as Hairy Butt, and to his foes as Dirty Harry, entered the LPI recruitment office. He took a good long look around the office, and the impact of what he saw, made his right eye twitch in the characteristic manner. Slowly and silently, moving like a tom cat, Harry took the application form and sat down to fill it, without waking up the sleeping LPI recruitment officer.

1. Do you like donuts?

I like to do everything nuts, so I guess I like donuts.

2. Do you like coffee?

It's well known that 70% of human body is comprised of water. In my case, 70% is comprised of coffee.

3. Do you like paperwork?

Yes. I especially like to make origami of it, or take it to the men's room, where it comes really handy, if you catch my drift.

4. Do you have any flight experience?

Enough to point my guns at the punk I have to shoot, and ask him if he feels lucky.

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?

I expect trade lanes to be clean of punks. Anything besides that, I consider bonus.

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?

I have no personal life, so you figure it out...

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

I can work from there. I'll ram punks 'till they bleed.

8. Are you disgruntled?

Disgruntled is my middle name.

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