You got a donut?

[Eppy]

Squatting Partridge shuffled into the office, his leather moccasins padding silently along the battered linoleum floor. Great Firebird, this was so humiliating. Honestly, what kind of career option was that? Become a policeman or become a dentist? Stupid Reservation Chiefs. He readjusted the feathers woven through his black ponytail. An obese Caucasian was sitting at the desk, snoozing, with a half-eaten Grape Jelly donut lying on top of his bulbous gut. Oh, Firebird, why? His ACTs were all perfect, why in hell was he here? The young Native American grudgingly grabbed one of the white application forms and trudged over to the benches in a corner, pulling his custom 0.4 mm pencil and lead case from the pockets sown into his similarly traditional attire.

1. Do you like donuts?

Not particularly. They contain unpleasant amounts of saturated fat and cholesterol, and in general are far too sweet and sticky for my taste. I have to maintain my arterial performance, you know; I was the reservation's best Track and Field competitor. I have three trophies and a jacket to show for it.

2. Do you like coffee?

If there is a Sunbucks and a Quadruple Espresso involved then yes, I very much like Coffee. How do you think I got those perfect ACTs and 4.0s, you bloated buffoon of a job application?

Sunbuck's Chai Tea isn't bad, either...you should try that sometime.

3. Do you like paperwork?

Do I have a choice to like paperwork or not? The Reservation Chief doesn't care if I like paperwork or not, either, as long as I get my homework done nobody bothers to yell at me.

4. Do you have any flight experience?

Yes. I was the International Jousting Junior Champion in a Templar; they even let me keep the ship. The Reservation Chief tried to take it from me and sell it but the Bureau of Internal Affairs man saw him trying to do it and got it signed in my name.

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?

Hell, I don't care! I never see a penny of it, whatever's not used paying for my expenses goes straight back to The Reservation. Yeah, real fun, isn't it?

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?[

Preferably not too many. I need to keep my studies up so I can go to Stanford after I pay off the Reservation's education fees. Then I'll need to study once I'm in Stanford...

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats?

Honestly, I'd rather use my Templar, but if that's my job, then what-the-hell-ever...maybe I can get it as a secondary ship? Knowing the bureaucracy, probably not.

7.5 Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

The Law of Liberty, none. After all, that's exactly what I'm forced into this crap job for, isn't it? As for God, that might present an issue as I am a descendant of the Sioux Indians and hence do not worship the Judeo-Christian God, preferring the Midewiwin deities, most notably the Great Firebird. As for Chuck Norris, that may be the one thing that makes this job worthwhile. No matter how many historical issues I may have with the memory of the man, there is no denying his innate greatness. Jackie Chan, John Wayne and Yoda all rolled into one.

8. Are you disgruntled?

THAT IS THE DUMBEST FREAKING QUESTION I HAVE BEEN ASKED IN FREAKING YEARS.

Partridge placed the application onto the fat man's desk and picked up another form. Sidling back towards the benches he quickly folded it into a very pointy paper airplane and let if fly. It parked itself right inside the obese man's elevated left nostril. Partridge smiled.

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Quick comment - we thought that Panzer was the Leader, Swift. -Agmen

Which Dreadnought was that?

One of your nine.