The Mess Hall Incident

[Jonas Valent]

Sergeant Valent looks around the mess hall and sighs. The mess hall is deserted. The lights are dimmed with several flickering in the background. All the furniture has been thrown about and the smell of burnt plastic is heavy in the air.

Valent looks back toward the row of vending machines. Several machines appear to have sustained severe damage. The coffeemaker looks like it was hit with a bomb with components scattered about and the case battered. Upon closer inspection Sergeant Valent sees the tell tale markings of multiple tazer burns.

"Damn recruits" he yells," I told them to stop tazering everything. They think they can do anything and get away with it. Well they have a big surprise coming."

Valent storms out of the mess hall and heads down to the security section. He finds the guard asleep at the monitor with he feet propped up on the console. Valent pulls out his trusty tazer sets it to minimum and tazes the guard.

"What did you do that for?" the guard yells.

"You're lucky i only had it set on minimum," Valent replies. " If I ever find you asleep at your post again ill set it on "Joshy's stuck again" and we shall then see if you fare any better then he did."

"I'm sorry sir it will not happen again," said the now horrified guard.

"Good. Now show me the security footage of the mess hall," demands Valent. "Then clear the room so I can review this footage."

After 4 hours of reviewing the security footage of the mess hall Valent is flabbergasted. Initially thinking that the new recruits were responsible for the destruction of the coffeemaker he is astounded at the true culprit, Captain John Aryn.

The footage shows Captain Aryn walking up to the machine to get some coffee. He inserts his credits into the machine and makes his selection. Nothing happens. Frustrated, Captain Aryn keeps pressing the button without any response from the coffeemaker. He starts pressing every button and finally hears the sounds of the machine working.

"It's a damn good thing you started working machine. "I'm in a bad mood and I need my coffee," Captain Aryn mutters.

Impatient to get his coffee he reaches down and opens the slot before the coffee has finished pouring. This caused the machine to shoot out hot coffee all over Captain Aryn.

"Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh," he screams as he felt his skin burning. He furiously begins to kick the chairs around him while screaming in agony. After a few moments he recovers and stares coldly at the machine.

"I am going to destroy you coffeemaker. I will destroy you so badly that no piece will be able to be salvaged. I am gonna insure that this incident will never be repeated.

He slowly walks up to the coffeemaker with his tazer drawn. He stares at the buttons which frustrated him so much to begin with. He increases the charge of his tazer to maximum and starts to taze every button on the machine. Amid the sparks and smell of burning plastic, Captain Aryn starts laughing diabolically. He steps back after a moment and stares at the extensive damage he has caused.

"Think you've had enough devil coffeemaker. We haven't even begun to get started yet!"

Captain Aryn thinks to himself for a minute and picks up one of the chairs then starts bashing the machine repeatedly. In a short time both the chair and the coffeemaker are completely destroyed. Once again he steps back from the machine and thinks.

"Hmmmm. Looks like the wiring still looks intact."

He sits down and starts pulling the wires out one be one and zapping them with his tazer. He starts murmuring to himself as he tazes each wire "Destroyed, Destroyed, Destroyed"

At this point Sergeant Valent turns off the monitor. He thinks to himself for several minutes. He slowly gets up out of the chair his former blinding wrath turned into amusement.

"Completely understandable," Valent thinks to himself. "If that had happened to me I would have dragged that thing out into space and shot a SNAC at it."