You got a donut?

[timmychen]

A tall young-looking girl bursts into the office, ignoring all the signs. She struts up to the desk, bangs on it, and says "I want to join the Liberty Police, cause like, I don't like bad guys, and, like, I heard you guys are hottt." The fat man behind the desk is fast asleep. "Did you hear me? Oh my god!" Still asleep. "You know, if you're going to treat me li--Oh, a stack of applications on this super-duper messy table? Fine! I'll go outside and fill it out! I'll show YOU who's boss!" She storms out of the room.

Two minutes later, she rushes back in, and starts to rummage through the pile of papers on the desk, sending sheets everywhere. Finally, she found what she was looking for - a pencil. "Thought you could beat me by hiding the pencils, huh? HUH? WELL, YOU WERE WRONG!" She walks back out.

The man is still asleep.

Two days later, she appears back in the office and throws a piece of paper on the desk. "Oh my god, that was the MOST writing I've done since middle school! I better get in!"

The application read:

1. Do you like donuts?

Oh my gosh, like, donuts make me WAY too fat! I LOVE them, but they are just so fattening! Ugh!

2. Do you like coffee?

Only if there's no sugar, cause, like, sugar makes you fat.

3. Do you like paperwork?

Does it involve pictures of hot hot guys? And, like, I get my own private office, right?

4. Do you have any flight experience?

Like, I flew paper airplanes when I was a kid, and I made parachute armymen with tissues, does that count?

5. What is the pay you expect to get from this?

A LOT! I hope I get paid like a bajillion credits a week, cause, like, the cost of my hairdo and nails cost that much!

6. What hours do you expect/can you work?

Like, I don't know, cause, like, it depends on what kind of work I'm doing. Hopefully I only need to like, do a little bit, like, look at pictures of hot guys and get my nails done.

7. Do you have any objections to strapping yourself to a flimsy, piece o' crap Patriot, with downgraded weaponry and upgraded ejection seats? Furthermore, do you have any objections to taking said crappy Patriot, enforcing the law o' Liberty, God, and Chuck Norris, to a mass of people that don't care one way or the other what you do?

Oh my gosh, that's a lot! Only if I get the pay I said!

8. Are you disgruntled?

IS THIS A TRICK QUESTION? LIKE, OH MY GOSH, IF IT IS, I SWEAR, I WILL, LIKE... ERRRRGGHHHHH!!!

The bottom half of the application seems to be covered with drawings of ponies and random daisies.